Mother Knows Best
by fis
Summary: A what if fan fiction. What if when John asks Mrs. Thornton to speak to Margaret about the incident at Outwood Station, Margaret is more forthcoming about the Hale family secret?
1. Chapter 1 - Introduction

What if when John asks Mrs. Thornton to speak to Margaret about the incident at Outwood Station, she is more forthcoming about the Hale family secret?.

* * *

John Thornton could not believe his eyes. Margaret Hale, his Margaret embracing a young man, in public, at night, partly obscured by the shadow of the station platform waiting room. They were both clinging on to each other, clinging for dear life, silently, still, as if they were listening to hear their hearts beat in unison. Thornton stared, glared at them, the shock evident on his face. He has dreamt of this vision so many times, but with her clinging to him, and not this slight, elegant and handsome man. This was not his vision, no, oh no, this was his nightmare; Margaret in the arms of another man.

Love, they say, hopes all things.

He had dared to hope that their renewed friendship after his failed proposal will let her see him as a possible suitor. He was determined to be agreeable to her and perhaps, he could one day renew his suit. The apparition before him slammed the door shut on hope. This was probably why she turned him down. She loved another, secretly. John could not tear his eyes away from the sight that was breaking the remnants of his shattered heart. She was facing him, her eyes closed, her head tucked beneath her lover's neck. John willed her to open her eyes, and as if she could hear him, lifted her lashes and saw him. Margaret locked eyes with John, stiffened and gasped. John's chest seized up in pain as he struggled to breathe. Her lover turned round and they both looked at John who now had the most terrifying scowl ever emblazoned on his face. He looked at them again; anger, disgust, pain, and disappointment, oh yes, and jealously written all over him, and he marched, almost ran out of the station in long quick strides.

Love, they say, does not envy.

As he gathered his thoughts, he could not believe that Margaret could be so reckless as to embrace a strange man in a public place at night. Someone once said no man is offended by another man's admiration of the woman he loves; it is the woman only who can make it a torment. Margaret doesn't love him, but she loves another who loves her back, and it is excruciating. Their mutual affection and display is highly improper. Her mother died last night yet she was able to have a secret assignation the very next day. He must have misjudged her character. Somehow, something doesn't ring true.

Love, they say, does not rejoice in iniquity.

This is not the Margaret Hale he knows and spent hours with in her house, who reproached him for his work practices, then protected him from a vicious mob, no, his eyes and his head are not in agreement. As for his heart, that is another matter, his heart loves Margaret Hale, completely, totally and unconditionally, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that his eyes or his head can do about that.

Love, they say, endures all things.

The police inspector who came to report Leonards' death after Mrs Hale's funeral returned to tell John that Margaret had denied ever being present at the station. Falsehood. This was another aspect of her character that he did not expect.

Love, they say, rejoices in the truth.

There had to be an explanation for this. John reasoned that she must have lied in order to conceal her secret trysts from her family. Perhaps this lover was not favoured by her family, he decided. She had mentioned there were other suitors anyway. The Hales had been behaving strangely lately. John remembered that Margaret would not let him in to their house the other day, because she said "Mama was unwell and Papa was not receiving visitors", yet he knew they had visitors because he could hear voices upstairs and he saw a man's carpet bag and cap in the hallway. Yet, another falsehood!

The coroner said Leonards had died from alcohol poisoning, so John could stop the inquest with a clear conscience. He would not want the Hales to go through a public interrogation in which her indiscretions would have just kept the Milton grapevine churning. The town had just about stopped talking about the riot and she now goes and reignites the flames. So frustrating.

Love, they say, does not behave rudely.

* * *

The next time John went to Crampton, Margaret tried to thank him for his kindness in stopping the inquest. She looked so vulnerable, so tired and pale, that one part of him wanted to draw her to himself and hold her there and comfort her. The other part, the jealous part that dominated him in that moment decided to let her share his torment, therefore, he scolded her for her behaviour. He demanded an explanation, and when he saw that a suitable one was not forthcoming, he temper flared.

_Do not think I intend to renew my attentions towards you. Any foolish passion I might have had for you is over,_ John spat out at her and stormed off, and glanced back to see her look as if she would burst into tears any moment now. I no longer love you, he said to himself over and over, confident in the knowledge that he should stop loving her, he could stop loving her, he will make himself stop loving her. He gave her one last look, shook his head in disbelief, muttered an oath under his breath as he went up two steps at a time to his lesson with Mr. Hale at the Crampton house.

….

* * *

Hannah Thornton hates Margaret Hale for breaking her son's heart. She promised to hate her on behalf of John. Her own heart broke when he sighed to her after the rejected proposal ."_No one loves me,-no one cares for me, but you, mother, he said.' She put her hands on his shoulders; ….. looked into his face;….. made him look at her and said: 'Mother's love is given by God, John. It holds fast forever and ever. A girl's love is like a puff of smoke,-it changes with every wind. And she would not have you, my own lad, would not she?"_ When John declared that he could not stop loving Margaret, Mrs. Thornton replied, _"I am the mother that bore you, and your sorrow is my agony; and if you don't hate her, i will_."

Mrs. Thornton had heard the servants gossiping that Miss Hale was seen in Outwood Station with a strange man late one night. The grocer's assistant was sure it was her, and he told the police that one rough looking fellow had a fight with Miss Hale's companion, and it drew some attention to them.

Love, they say, thinks no evil.

Mrs Thornton spent the hours after dinner, in her thoughts, working on her embroidery, waiting for John to come home. Surely, John will stop loving her now that she seems to have a lover, Hannah said to herself. He can now get over this affection, this attachment of his. It is odd though, why the man was not at her mother's funeral. It must be a secret engagement. Perhaps that explains why she rejected John's proposal. She could hardly be attached to two men at once. At least her handsome and eligible son will finally look for a nice Milton girl to marry, someone like them who was not haughty, proud and disagreeable as Miss Hale.

…..

* * *

So, what do you think of Xanthppe? John…eh John, about Xanthippe?… Mr. Hale called John out of his reverie.

I'm sorry, Mr. Hale, what was the question again?

Petrucchio likened Katherine in the Taming of the Shrew to Xanthippe, Socrate's wife. Xanthippe had quite a temper on her, and it was said she once emptied a chamber pot on him in rage and she engaged him in intellectual debates, and that was why Socrates loved her….Mr Hale continued.

John responded, "well, I have no experience in these matters sir, but I don't know why Petrucchio would want to tame Katherine to conform to his tastes in the first place. It is maddening that men would wish to change their wives, when they should seek the ones that cope with their tempers to start with". "…..May I have Margaret as my Xanthippe sir, to have these intellectual discussions with though I will have to do something about the chamber pot…" he added silently and smiled.

As John came out of his foray into another daydream and saw the strange look he got from his tutor, a rush of pink stained his cheekbones all the way down to his neck and he looked away quickly, mortified and wondering how much of his thoughts he did say out loud when Mr. Hale asked him, " what… about Margaret?

"Yes, sir", he blurted out, "I was wondering if Miss Hale would be joining us this evening?" knowing fully well that he had asked that question twice already.

….

* * *

Mrs. Thornton was now pacing the drawing room, waiting for John to return from Crampton. He poured himself a glass of brandy, brushed his lips on her forehead and plumped himself down on the sofa next to his mother with a sigh.

"Did you hear that Miss Hale was seen at Outwood Station with a strange man last week"…she started? All the servants are going on about it. That one….. she can't seem to distance herself from scandal and gossip. John, did you hear me… what do you think? John, what do you say? I think she turned you down because she had this secret lover. Well, that explains it all, for no one can turn down my handsome son… most sought-after man in all of Milton. I'm no longer angry with her for rejecting you, but I wish you could forget her. Yet, her actions are so improper. I can't believe her father lets her behave so. All that scampering across town to the Princeton district and gallivanting with that Union man Higgins, just makes her undeserving of your regard….

"Mother, you know I just can't stop loving her"….John countered. "I've tried, God knows I've tried."

"I know son, I know, but you have to try harder", Hannah responded.

Love, they say, never fails.

John tells her everything; Hannah understands everything. Mother and son are so close. She even seems to be able to read his mind. Without words, with one look, she can discern his mood, his temper, his thoughts. That had never bothered John in the past. All his thoughts were of the mill and the business. Lately, he has been pre-occupied with Margaret, and John is not so comfortable with his mother knowing his thoughts for she would surely be scandalized to discern what he thinks of when he thinks about Margaret Hale. On that note, he slowly crossed his long legs and silently cursed his body for betraying him at the most inopportune time.

"Mother" he said, "I think you should talk to Miss Hale about her conduct. She needs to be censured about her behaviour, and I feel it is best coming from a woman."

"Well", Mrs Thornton replied, "I did make a deathbed promise to Mrs. Hale to guide her daughter. I suppose I have to make good my word. She's so obstinate and outspoken and reckless. I will go and see her."

"Thank you Mother", John sighed.

…

* * *

Margaret felt really sick, tossing and turning all night for the past week, unable to sleep, unable to forget Mr. Thornton harsh rebuke "…..any passion I may have had for you is over….". And she deserved it. Her mother had just died, and all she could think about was Mr Thornton's bad opinion of her. It just didn't make sense.

"Mrs. Thornton is here to see you, Miss Margaret," Dixon said as she came into her room, rolling her eyes upwards. "She is in the Drawing Room. I'll get the tea and cakes" and with a disapproving look, she closed the door gently behind her.

Margaret tided herself in the mirror and dragged her feet down the stairs and resolved in her mind to be brave as the door to the Drawing room loomed near to face the biggest scowl in all Christendom.

"Thank you Mrs. Thornton, for coming to see us," she said perhaps a little bit too airily. "I hope you are well. How is Mrs Watson? I haven't seen her since the wedding. Dixon will bring the tea and cakes up shortly. Thank you very much. Papa has gone to the Lyceum. We are expecting Mr Bell tomorrow…" Margaret could not stop talking…

In her forthright abrupt manner, without any sentiments, and without any hesitation, she interrupted, "…Miss Hale, I made a promise to your mother that if I ever saw you doing anything that was not right, I would counsel you as if you were my own daughter. Well here goes…I heard that you were in the company of a gentleman late at night at Outwood station without a chaperone. Miss Hale, this is highly improper. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Margaret began.. "I am very sorry Mrs. Thornton. I did act improperly…."

Hannah countered…"you should have a good explanation for what happened. I'm waiting."

"I don't know what to say Mrs. Thornton, I am so sorry. I just …."

Hannah continued "…. It seems to me that you do not feel obliged to say anything. I am not one to poke my nose where it is not wanted, but there are consequences to your actions, which are far reaching. You have to be responsible. You are a lady, you are unmarried, surely, you must be aware of how bad your situation is."

Margaret just nodded silently, and stared down at her hands in her lap.

"Miss Hale, I see you are determined to be stubborn about this. I am not sorry you rejected my son anymore. You don't know the kind of man you rejected. I felt sorry for his sake for he loved you so strongly and I encouraged him to propose to you, for I thought you cared for him. You broke his heart, Miss Hale. Now that I see you that have a secret lover, and such a man would not care for your reputation, but compromise you in a public place, I am glad that my son is not attached to you, and he is not going to make you my daughter!"

Margaret temper flared and as she was about to retort when she realized she just could not find the words. She hiccupped and just broke down first in sobs, and then she started to cry. She sank to the floor on her knees, cupped her face in her hands and bent over her lap and just wept. Mrs. Thornton did not know what to do. She looked up to see if Dixon was around and became increasingly uncomfortable with this display of emotion. Yes, she was angry with Margaret, but she did not expect her to react as such, wailing in this manner. Dear Fanny does have tantrums when she doesn't get her way, but they were rare, and were never with this emotional.

Hannah knelt down and moved near to Margaret and touched her arm, and as if a dam burst, Margaret rose and clung to her tightly and wept openly on her breast. Hannah put her arms around the younger woman's shoulders and pulled her closer and let her wail on. She realized that the poor girl has been holding on to so much grief and there had not been anyone to comfort her. Her cousin and aunt were not able to come for the funeral, and her father looked so frail. It was evident that she had to be strong for him and even for Dixon. Poor girl. She was so young. Hannah could not imagine her fanciful Fanny having to deal with such tragedy, and she pulled Margaret closer.

Oh…exclaimed Dixon as she came in with the tea and found both ladies on their knees with their arms around each other and Margaret silently sobbing. Miss Margaret…she started… but Mrs. Thornton looked at her and nodded to leave the tea and then dismissed her.

Dixon was fuming.

Who does this woman think she was to be the one to comfort Miss Margaret like this, she asked herself as she shut the door behind her. "Miss Margaret is a Beresford. Mrs. Thornton is in trade. They now have to make friends with the Thorntons just because they were in reduced circumstances. Why did Mr. Hale ever bring them to Milton?… Dixon muttered to herself as she ambled down the stairs to the kitchen.

As Margaret became more aware of her surroundings, she looked up and started to apologize to Mrs. Thornton, then they both got up, brushed their skirts down and sat on the sofa.

Mrs. Thornton asked softly, "is this man going to marry you then…? Do you have an understanding? … Does your father know about him? What can you tell me about him? How can I help you?" All the questions just rolled out non-stop.

Margaret just shook her head and started to cry again. Hannah was shocked and confused. "Have you been jilted by this man? Please say something, Miss Hale… Margaret.. say something."

Margaret whispered hoarsely, the pain clear in her voice, "Mrs. Thornton, I don't know what to say. It is so shameful. I am so ashamed…so wrong. I don't know what you must think of me. Mr. Thornton is so angry with me. I can't bear it. It is so hard. Oh God, what he must think of me. Oh Mrs. Thornton, I don't know what to do. I am so very lost. Oh dear me…"

Please tell me what happened, Margaret, tell me….

"Mrs. Thornton, we have the worst scandal ever that you could ever think of. I can't tell you. Whatever modicum of goodwill you have for our family will surely be lost if you knew the burden we bear. Please believe me, the man at the station was not my lover. I can't say more, but we are not lovers. Please understand… please try to understand." Margaret's lower lip quivered as she rocked back and forth and groaned as if she was in physical pain.

Mrs. Thornton sat back in her seat, shocked for she has seen that look before, and heard that cry of pain before, so she reached out and clasped Margaret's hand in hers and whispered to her, I understand what you are going through, more than you know. She has indeed seen that look before, in the mirror, eighteen years ago, when her husband took his own life and brought the family into debt and disgrace, ruination and reproach, stigma and shame. John was a young strapping lad of fourteen and studying in a prestigious boarding school and precious Fanny was but an infant. Life changed irreversibly.

The Thorntons lost everything. All their property was taken over by the Crown. Suicide or self-murder was feared by their strict Victorian society. It was disgraceful, immoral and illegal. The only way to prevent the Crown from taking over their property of suicides was to say George Thornton was insane when he took his own life. However, they could not take the chance of a hereditary insanity plea as both John and Fanny would have problems finding spouses in the future. The only other option was to lose all their assets to the Crown and become poor, and they took that. He could not even be buried in consecrated ground. Family, friends, neighbours and acquaintances distanced themselves and they had to work their way back to respectability and acceptance in society. During those dark years, Hannah had no one to turn to. She was alone, isolated and ostracized. She had to be brave for John and John had to be brave for her in turn. Dearest Fanny was too young to understand what was going on. Hannah had to develop a thick skin and buried her emotions deep, so deep inside that it startled her as they erupted slowly, surely and steadily back to the surface. As she watched Margaret, her own eyes began to hurt, and then fill up with tears to saturation and then overflow on to her cheeks, first in drops, then in a steady flow, to a continuous torrent which became now unstoppable.

"My husband took his own life.".. Hannah began, with a trance-like stare… "so Miss Hale, I know what it feels like to be the source of gossip. I know what it is like to be the greatest scandal in town for years on end. I know what it is like to suddenly move from wealth to poverty due to someone else's choices. I know what it feels like to be a leper, to bear the plague, to be a stigma. I know the look of pity and the look of fear; the loud whispers and the pointing in the street; the silence when you enter a crowded room and the noise when you leave it. I know what it is like to be judged by God and be judged by man, Margaret, I know, I understand, more than you could ever know."

There was silence in the room. You could hear a pin drop. You could hear a feather drop.

"The man at the Outwood Station was…is my brother", Margaret whispered, His name is Lieutenant Frederick Hale. He left for the Navy eight years ago, where he had a cruel captain who mistreated all the crew. Frederick became implicated in a mutiny and is now a fugitive. There is a bounty on his head, and if he is caught, he will be court-martialed and may be hanged. He has to live in exile. He came in secretly when my mother was dying to see her for the last time. I had to take him to the station because my father was distraught. Leonards, the draper's assistant from Helstone where we used to live recognized him and made the trouble at the station. Fred pushed him off, but he did not kill him. When the police inspector came to question me, I feared for my brother that he could be caught so I had to deny being at the station. Mr. Thornton saw me that evening and knew of my falsehood, but we could not confide in him because he is a magistrate. I could not jeopardize his standing in the community for helping a fugitive to the Crown. I also had to protect my brother. I'm so sorry Mrs. Thornton," Margaret cried.

Hannah listened in silence, bewildered, surprised. This was not what she expected to hear.

"Where is your brother now?" Hannah asked.

"I don't know. He will write to us when he gets back to safety. For now, it is unsafe to talk about him" Margaret replied.

"You have to tell John, you know that" Hannah said. "You can trust him. When my son loves someone, he loves them completely. He cannot love by halves. It is not in his nature"

"Oh no," Margaret gulped, "I don't want Mr. Thornton to know about Fred. I don't want to put him in an awkward position. He has done so much for us, much more than we could ever repay. I know he does not hold me in any good regard, but I have to bear it for my brother sake, Mrs. Thornton. It is unbearable that Mr. Thornton thinks so badly of me. I don't know what to do"

"Margaret Hale, you are still protecting my son," Hannah said. "You did it on the day of the riot as well. You protected your brother. You protected the mill workers. You are protecting everyone, at the risk of your own reputation."

"Now tell me, who is looking out for you?" Hannah queried

"Who is looking out for you, Miss Hale?"

"Margaret, will you let me fulfill my promise to your mother to look out for you?"

Margaret nodded gratefully. Hannah smiled and held her close, then rose up and poured the tea for both of them.


	2. Chapter 2 - Lunchbreak

Chapter Two:

…..

"_Margaret, will you let me fulfill my promise to your mother to look out for you?" _asked Mrs. Thornton

Margaret nodded gratefully. Hannah smiled and held her close, then rose up and poured the tea for both of them.

* * *

….

Someone once said, "…I ask only what I want to be told…"

John Thornton was not a coward, but he has decided that he did not want his mother to confirm his worst fears about the Outwood Station man following her meeting with Margaret. Mrs. Thornton was not one to show affection, but she had seemed happy lately; for gone was the scowl that marred her handsome face and she even hummed a tune every now and then. Mother must have put Margaret right, he was sure of that, for John knew that the woman who loves him the most hates the woman he loves the most. His worst fear would be that the Outwood Station man was indeed Margaret's lover, and she would be lost to him forever, and that would not help his melancholy.

.

Now that he has known love, unrequited, mind you, John Thornton has decided, or rather, resolved in his heart that nothing but the deepest love would ever induce him into matrimony.

.

"John", Mrs. Thornton called out, "…will you be coming home for lunch today? John chuckled to himself, and wondered what had come over his mother. It was the third day in a row she had asked him and she knew he never came home to lunch. It was too busy at the mill.

.

"No, mother, I would love to, but I cannot", he replied.

.

The odd thing is that she persisted, and asked again.

.

He now became wary, that perhaps she was longing to tell him her good news, which would be his bad news. John Thornton was not a coward, but he was certain that he did not have the stomach for valour and lunch today. It would not be sensible, for he has to get over this melancholy. He dare not tell her he has low spirits. "Low spirits?" she would say, "we don't get those here. Low spirits are for southerners and soft ladies like Mrs. Hale. You, John are a man of Milton, strong, handsome and brave." Therefore, he politely and firmly declined her invitation unequivocally and headed off to work.

.

Just before lunch, John heard the gates of the mill open, and wandered to the window of the spinning room and saw Margaret Hale, or rather her shadow to be precise, stride quickly and disappear into the house. He would know her and her shadow anywhere.

.

Curiosity, they say, is the opposite of certainty.

.

John wondered why Margaret would wish to meet his mother for lunch. Someone once said that men stood up for each other, whilst women warred against each other. He considered the possibilities between two warring women. He was certain these ladies were about to fight over him, and he had comfort in knowing neither could use a dueling pistol. John Thornton was not a coward nevertheless he decided to do his duty and prevent a bloodbath.

.

Therefore, John Thornton obeyed his instincts and went home for lunch.

.

John was about to apologize for disrupting plans for lunch when he saw that his place had been set already.

.

"..It is nice of you to join us for lunch today..", his mother remarked, as she turned away to hide a mischievous glint in her eye.

.

John greeted Margaret who muttered a polite thank you, looked quickly away, and in a puzzlement to John, moved closer to his mother.

.

No, these ladies were not about to fight over him as he supposed.

.

Vanity, he chided himself.

.

He distinctly heard Margaret laughing with his mother as he made his way upstairs just now, but he noticed how she stiffened nervously as she saw him. He could not help but castigate himself for his tirade at their last meeting where he lied that, "…_Any foolish passion I might have had for you is over…"_

.

His passion was most certainly not over. No, the fire burns on, and when fire burns, it never says "…it is enough."

.

He had not seen her for the last fortnight, as she would not sit during his sessions with her father, so he assumed she must either be unwell or perhaps was pining for her lover. That thought had contributed to his melancholy and he knew he missed her.

.

Lunch was a tedious affair and John knew he should have stayed at the mill, but the masochist in him has now decided that he will now come to lunch every day henceforth. John Thornton was no coward, but he has decided that even if he cannot enjoy the bliss of loving Margaret Hale, he would endure the torment of loving Margaret Hale as long as it meant he would be in Margaret Hale's company.

* * *

…..

As for Mrs. Thornton, she had seen what she wanted to see. John and Margaret in company, at lunch, over several days, together. Hannah Thornton wanted to be sure of certain things and certain of sure things.

.

Hannah Thornton was certain of these sure things.

.

John could not take his eyes off Margaret. No, nor could he disguise his delight for any little morsel of attention that came his way; but Hannah expected that.

.

John's admiration for Margaret's intellect was clear. John did not have many men friends. The Thorntons did not have many friends for that matter. Other mill masters were peers in business and Watson was now a brother, but still not a friend. Little wonder John cherished his time with Mr. Hale who was a tutor, a father and a friend. Margaret Hale was no bluestocking but her mind for ideas and concepts would fascinate John, unlike other females like dear Fanny who talked only of fashion and lace and fripperies.

.

Hannah Thornton was now sure of certain things.

.

Margaret Hale did not hate her son. She did not stiffen or cast hateful glares at him. On the contrary, she so often looked at him discreetly, when she thought no one was watching, and blushed every shade from scarlet to crimson whenever their eyes met.

.

Margaret Hale was not indifferent to her son. She seemed unusually bashful and uncomfortable in his presence, but it may well be that she did not know how to handle John's attentiveness to her.

.

Margaret Hale respected her son. Anyone could see her looks of admiration, or shall we adoration, when John talked, or shall we say bragged about his work and responsibilities in town. It was a fascinating mating dance.

.

Margaret Hale wanted her son's forgiveness, well, because she told Mrs. Thornton so.

.

Margaret Hale could not see the obvious; that John Thornton loved her, body and soul, warts and all, for good or ill; and most of all, John Thornton passionately craved her love.

.

and perhaps, maybe, probably,

.

Margaret Hale loves John Thornton. She just doesn't know it yet.

….

* * *

After lunch, Mrs. Thornton decided that to ask Margaret the question that has puzzled her since the riots.

.

Not one to beat about the bush, "Margaret" she asked gently, "…why did you reject John's proposal of marriage?"

.

Margaret gulped. No one has ever asked her about this. Her parents did not know that he proposed. They were not even aware of the events of the riot to start with. Mr. Bell had seen Mr. Thornton looking distressed in town that morning after the ill-fated proposal and mentioned it to her, but she did not take the bait. The whole of Milton even wondered and gossiped if a proposal was made, as her impropriety would have required an obligated proposal from Mr. Thornton. It would seem that the only person besides Margaret, John, and God, who knew for certain of the proposal was Mrs. Thornton.

.

"Mrs. Thornton", Margaret began, "you are the first person to ask me about this, and I am grateful that you now give me a chance to explain myself."

.

"Go on" Mrs. Thornton encouraged.

.

Margaret continued, "Everyone assumed that I knew what I was doing when I held on to Mr. Thornton that day. In fact, I did not. I had goaded him into going out to talk to the mob stupidly thinking they could be reasoned with. When I saw their hostility, I just acted out of instinct and perhaps guilt, and because I thought that they would do no harm to a woman, I used my body to shield him. I may very well have done the same to protect my brother if he was in that situation, I suppose. Anyway, I did not think at the time that my actions would put him under obligation to propose matrimony to me."

.

"But he wanted to protect you", Mrs. Thornton said. "Your reputation would have been ruined."

.

"What if he did not like me? What if he loved another?" Margaret queried, "It would have been grossly unfair to him that he would then be tied to me for life because of what I did. It was my mistake, and I was prepared to bear the consequences. I was not used to a man's attentions in that way, so I did not know what to do. Before that day, I saw Mr. Thornton mainly as Papa's friend. I was not even aware that he loved me. I believed he thought me to be disagreeable and unpleasant from our previous encounters that I felt I would be the last person in the world he would ever want to marry."

.

"Did you explain this to him, to tell him he was not beholden to you?" Hannah asked.

.

Margaret replied, "I wanted to tell him so, but embarrassment that my actions seemed manipulative made me reject him in a vicious manner. I was worried about what everyone was saying, and I felt so much shame. He did not deserve the insults I threw at him. I accused him of wanting to possess me like chattel. Oh, Mrs. Thornton, I cannot even recall my words to him that day without abhorrence. I really wish I could apologize for my behaviour. Mr. Thornton has dealt with this with the utmost Christian charity. He remained kind to my family, cared for my mother until she died, and he still visits my father. And you know he quelled the investigation about Leonards' death and protected me. He had done all the good, and I have done all the bad"

.

Confession, they say is good for the soul.

.

Mrs. Thornton sat back in her seat, observing Margaret carefully as she spoke, without guile, without pretensions and without vanity.

.

"Mrs. Thornton," Margaret concluded, " my greatest fear now is that as my regard for Mr. Thornton has steadily increased as I got to know him better, his regard for me has steadily decreased as he's gotten to know me more. I feel he must surely be congratulating himself that he was not attached to me before these aspects of my character became known."

.

Mrs. Thornton listened intently, nodding thoughtfully on as Margaret spoke.

.

"He even made it clear to me that he hates me now", Margaret said, with finality.

.

"Hmm, …..did he now?" Mrs. Thornton asked, with her eyebrows raised quizzically.

.

Margaret nodded.

.

Mrs. Thornton smiled.

.

"Margaret", Mrs. Thornton decided to change the topic, "I would like you to do a likeness of me?"

.

"I will be honoured ma'am", Margaret replied, relieved that she had not been invited to do embroidery, which does not interest her in the least nor would she have had the patience to be truly proficient.

.

They continued to talk some more, and soon, too soon it felt for both of them, it was time for Margaret to leave.

.

John watched puzzled from the window of his office to see Margaret leave a full hour after he had left the house.

…..

* * *

Ignorance is most certainly not bliss; Ignorance is torture.

….

John Thornton was not a coward, so he decided to speak to his mother that night, and find out what he would not bear to know.

6


	3. Chapter 3 - Clarity

Chapter Three – Parental Duties

"_A wise parent humours the desire for independent action, so as to become the friend and adviser when his absolute rule shall cease." _Elizabeth Gaskell.

…

* * *

Thornton went to the window of his office and watched Margaret leave a full hour after he had left the house. As she got to the gates, he saw her look back at the house, nod and smile broadly to his mother who stayed on at the window till she was out of sight and then return to her work.

.

For the next full two hours after Margaret left, Hannah Thornton thought about the discussion they had just had, replaying the conversation, nodding and shaking her head as different thoughts coursed through her mind.

.

"Imagine that.." she exclaimed, "what a surprise…" clasping her hands and tapping her forefingers together.

.

One thing Hannah Thornton realised today is that keeping this promise to Maria Hale was not going as easy as she supposed; for Margaret had grown up with two mothers in London and Helstone who had taught her manners and courtesy and to keep house, but neither woman was here to guide her through the most significant and delicate moments in her life, to get a husband, belong to him, and secure her future. That lot has now fallen to Hannah whose dilemma will be to guide this young lady as she would her own daughter, when she knew full well that her own son desired her for wife, even though she may not have been her own choice of a wife for him. It was a delicate matter indeed!

…

* * *

..

Someone once said your expectation determines your attitude, your attitude influences your actions, and your actions have consequences

.

* * *

Expectations

.

Mrs. Thornton made it her primary duty, her priority to see Fanny married and settled for the future. She acquired the accomplishments that made her eligible and came out when she turned seventeen and married Watson one month short of her nineteenth birthday with a generous dowry as part of the deal. Mrs. Thornton recalled only too well how much tea and cake she endured in tedious company chaperoning Fanny to balls, theatre and parties, and how much diligence Fanny paid to fashion in time for the Season. Mrs. Shaw was determined to see Edith married and she made sure they attended every possible concert, dinner, opera, picnic and party with Margaret tagging along, and her tenacity paid off when Captain Lennox started to court her. They got married just about the time the Hales moved to Milton.

.

Mrs. Hale approached the matter with a passive indifference and had obviously delegated or rather abdicated the responsibility to her sister, Mrs. Shaw. She did not seem to be overly concerned about it either for when the family moved to Milton, for even if she was unwell, one would think she would have indicated her desire to see her daughter chaperoned and perhaps have asked for help from Mrs. Thornton earlier. It may well be that she viewed that their lack of fortune put Margaret at a disadvantage as she would not have much of a dowry to encourage eligible men to seek her hand in marriage. For women, if wealth was not inherited, it had to be got by marriage, for chances of earning wealth in trade was limited, particularly for women of the higher classes. Margaret Hale did not have wealth, so it was odd that she would reject a chance to be married.

.

Margaret was clearly embarrassed that it seemed she had concocted a proposal by obligation rather than following a courtship. It did not matter that the suitor loved her, for her pride would always remind her that she acquired this situation by being compromised, and that of her own making. It smacked of desperation and she was mortified that anyone could think her capable of such scheming as her lack of fortune suggests she was unlikely to get a proposal any other way. She had even cited of the possibility of Thornton's indifference or even pity to justify refusing his proposal. "….What if he did not like me? What if he loved another?" she had said. Mrs. Thornton shudders to think how many men may have been compelled to marry women they hated and be separated from ones that he loved all because of propriety, obligation and honour. That situation would have been infinitely worse if Thornton had not loved Margaret but had his proposal accepted. Even thinking about of it nauseated Mrs. Thornton for he would have truly been miserable, and the agony of his current heartbreak would have paled in comparison.

.

Nevertheless, it was his lack of attachment to any woman at the moment that could make him vulnerable and this is what concerned his mother the most. John Thornton had better be more vigilant in his contacts with ladies from now on lest some silly girl comes up with some harebrained scheme to be compromised with him in order to secure herself a fine husband.

* * *

Attitude

It was bewildering that Margaret herself had not shown much interest in getting married ever since she came to Milton. Her friendship with the workers was not likely to put her in the right social circles to make a suitable connection, and she did not attempt to cultivate any of the high society ladies' good opinion. Mrs. Thornton recalled how she had scoffed "…surely not all…" when she was told that Thornton was desired by all women in Milton, and that had angered Mrs. Thornton considerably. Hannah's own pride and joy, her son, youngest mill master, magistrate, handsome, wealthy and respectable to be disparaged by a poor young girl, an outsider from the south and a snob. Insufferable!

.

A lady accept a man's suit because they either loved and esteemed the suitor; or wished to consolidate their place in society or improve their lot in life; or were just desperate not to become old maids. Very few ladies were encouraged to desire the intimacies of marriage. Such sports in ladies were seen as sinful, improper and base and should only be indulged by women of lower classes or fallen women.

.

Clearly, Margaret did not love Thornton, and in rejecting him, was not looking at marriage in order to improve her position, yet she should be clever enough to know how vulnerable old spinsters were within their families.

.

Nevertheless, Mrs. Thornton had always wondered why Margaret seemed to always disagree with Thornton and where the animosity stemmed from. It turned out her first impressions of Thornton was of a hot tempered and violent master who beat up a defenseless Stephens for smoking at the mill, and this made her dislike and challenge him at every turn and champion the lot of the weak. It is ironic that it was probably at that very same encounter that Thornton started to admire the woman that had the audacity to publicly reprimand him. Subsequent meetings made him seem uncaring and only after profit as a businessman, until her friends like Bessie Higgins made her realise how much she had misjudged him and they settled into a form of antagonistic friendship. The final straw was the Outwood incident, which eroded whatever remnants of regard he had for her.

.

"John needs to control that temper of his," Mrs. Thornton admits, "but he is not a violent person, Miss Hale. He is passionate and proud, stern and intense, but had never used his fist against a soul until that day. It was unfortunate that you had to witness that, and I sincerely apologise on his behalf" she had offered to Margaret.

.

It was even more baffling to Mrs. Thornton that Margaret could not have not known that a man was attracted to her such that a proposal would surprise her, for if she had seriously considered matrimony she would have realised that a man's intentions were not just for friendship. She said she had been surprised by a proposal from Henry Lennox, her cousin's brother-in-law and refused him as well. "Henry is a friend and we got on well together, but I did not see him as someone I wanted to marry" she had said.

.

"So there were others" Mrs. Thornton said to herself "….hmmm. Another man, heartbroken as John. Miserable sod, this Henry Lennox. Perhaps he is thinking of renewing his suit. Who knows?"

.

"So, where do things stand with this Mr. Lennox and how did your cousin take your rejection of her brother-in-law?" Mrs. Thornton inquired

.

Margaret replied, "we have remained friends, but Edith is hopeful that I would change my mind. I doubt it. Henry is helping me with my brother's case, so I don't think he completely despises me"

.

Mrs. Thornton admonished, "You do not want to gain a reputation of teasing and giving men false hopes and disappointment. It could ruin you".

.

Margaret replied defensively "I was not aware that Henry and Mr. Thornton cared for me, so I did not knowingly give them false hope nor did I wish to cause them pain. I just felt I would get married some day, but I would like to love whomever I married. My parents married for love, and they were very happy. I would be very miserable if I did not love my husband. It will be difficult to cherish and obey someone I do not love, don't you think, ma'am?" Margaret asked

.

Mrs. Thornton responded, "Love alone will not sustain you. You also need friendship and esteem to have a perfect union, and these come on gradually and with more acquaintance. You should not accept a man that all you feel for are pity and indifference, for even if he were to love you, you would make him miserable and inconstant, but heaven forbid a marriage of scorn or reproach for such union is no union at all, it is hateful.

.

Margaret baulked at Mrs. Thornton's assessment because she had used hateful words when she refused Thornton's proposal that even made him say "_you look as if you thought it tainted to be loved by me.."_ She had constantly castigated herself ever since for she neither felt scorn nor reproach for him at all in spite what she said. Perhaps she had felt some indifference but definitely not pity, and she has gradually begun to esteem him and see him as a friend, albeit a friend to her family despite her conduct and behaviour towards him.

.

Even though she thought her parents were happy because they seemed to be friends, she was aware that her Aunt Shaw had taken her in to be a companion to Edith since she was nine in order to mitigate her father's lack of fortune and difficulties. She was her father's daughter and he missed her terribly, but Mrs. Hale had prevailed in getting her sent away for nine months each year only to return in the summer when Edith and Aunt Shaw went away to Europe. She had even overhead Dixon telling the cook once in Helstone "_if Miss Beresford had not been in a hurry to marry a poor country clergyman, there was not knowing what she might not have become." _ When her father dissented and put the family in reduced circumstances and had to retrench to Milton, she was fairly certain that it was the combination of regret and disappointment that further afflicted her mother's spirits and Margaret had tried to mitigate any ill will by taking on servile duties in order to make life more bearable for her parents.

.

When Margaret said she saw Thornton only as her father's friend and was not aware he loved her, Hannah wondered how John had managed to hide his attraction so well. John's attachment to Margaret was so strong and surely, Mr. and Mrs. Hale should have caught wind of it. "One wonders what goes on in that house at Crampton when John goes for his lessons" she thought "for women tend to be sensitive to such things, but perhaps because Mrs. Hale was ill, very little attention was paid to John's attraction to Margaret. A fox may be in the hen house and she probably would not have noticed."

.

"Margaret, do you get to see John when he comes to your house for lessons with your father?" Mrs. Thornton asked.

.

"Yes, I am invited to sit in with them in their discussions, and I pour tea for them. I have read some of the books and my father debates with my brother and I when we were growing up, so I am familiar to some of their philosophical discourse. Mr. Thornton also visited when my mother was ill and he brought her fruits all the time. We were always in company but we did not discuss anything of a personal nature" Margaret replied.

.

The only other time Mrs. Thornton had seen John and Margaret together was at the annual Thornton dinner and they had argued, and even though Thornton was angry at her, it was unmistakable the way his eyes grazed over her admiringly all evening. Perhaps Hannah noticed this because she was his mother, for until the Hales turned up in Milton, he was all seriousness about the mill and the business. Suddenly he wants to learn about Socrates and Plato, Aristotle and Aristophanes, Euclid and all the Classics. She had felt sympathy for him having to cut his education short following his father's death, and saw this as an opportunity to exorcise some of his demons, but one wonders if he would have made the same effort had there not been an incentive in the person of Margaret Hale.

.

The rules of courtship for women do not encourage intelligence or interest in politics for a lady to be attractive to suitors. Margaret was very clever and it showed in her discussions at the Thornton dinner in front of other masters and their wives. Mrs. Thornton advised her not to publicise her intelligence, as it could be detrimental in the long run. It drew a lot of criticism and did not endear her to the other women there. On a wider note, it made her look capable of scheming such that her protestations of naiveté would be received with considerable skepticism.

.

Thornton on his part admired her for that very quality but as she had refused him, she cannot have his protection. "It is a man's world," Mrs. Thornton had said. "They hold all the power, so the protection a woman has is through men, be it a father, an uncle, a brother, a husband or a son." If life has taught Mrs. Thornton anything, it is that when the menfolk are unable to care for their families either through ill health, abandonment or death, their womenfolk have to do the work of men, but still give the credit to the men as people were not comfortable with the idea of strong women - a paradox, an oxymoron and a sure way to imbalance society. She had no one to protect her as a widow and had to make decisions like a man until her son was grown up enough to take over. For her, that meant being stern, unemotional and determined, and "not given to sentiments and vapours like weak-willed women with low spirits." The workers at the mill even called her the Dragon. Of course, she would have loved to bring up her children in gentility but did not have the good fortune for it but now she had the protection of her son.

.

To her disadvantage, Margaret was outspoken and opinionated, spirited and stubborn and much too clever to attract most men, but then, a sensible man like Thornton would not want a silly wife. She probably felt that their disagreements made her unattractive to him. Margaret Hale was truly beautiful, Mrs. Thornton admitted, but different from any woman John may have known and perhaps that made her all the more alluring to him. "My poor son, he was like a moth to a flame" she cried to herself.

.

In reality, people rarely commented about Margaret's beauty to her, even though she was very beautiful and elegant, with alabaster skin, ebony black hair, captivating green eyes, delicate hands, small waist and dainty ankles. Growing up in London, everyone had remarked about Edith's prettiness and charm and she was often overlooked. Even Frederick was more favoured than her, for when she asked her mother about what he was like as a baby, she had said "_Why, Margaret, you must not be hurt, but he was much prettier than you were. I remember when I first saw you in Dixon's arms, I said, 'Dear, what an ugly little thing.' _The police inspector that interviewed her over Leonards' death had described her as 'handsome', and that was perhaps one of the best compliments she had ever had about her features. Her intelligence and practicality became something she cherished about herself and now she was being told that this will not even endear her to a suitor.

.

"Margaret" Mrs. Thornton had said in a gentle but firm tone "you have been brought up as a country vicar's daughter and a lady of court in London where you were expected to be delicate and weak and cared for by the menfolk. You are actually clever and strong and you have helped your family settle in Milton, which must be difficult, but you need the protection of your father. That is how things are done, in a world where men dominate and hold all the power, a women cannot be independent without the covering of a man."

.

"My father was distraught by my mother's illness and I had to help the family in any way I could" Margaret defended, which was why she turned up at Marlborough Mills in the first place.

.

"You certainly have to help your parents and support your family" Mrs. Thornton said, "but I believe you should have confided in your father all the same about the riots and the problem at Outwood station at the very least, considering that he sent you on that errand in the first place and it involved the police. It was not your place to take on these burdens all by yourself when you have a parent, a father for that matter. Margaret, you are bound to make mistakes first by virtue of your youth, and then by the constraints of your sex, so what I am asking you to do is to have regard for propriety so that you do not keep becoming the scapegoat on matters outside your control." Mrs. Thornton counseled.

* * *

Consequences.

Every lady of good breeding view intimacy with husbands as a duty mainly for the purpose of producing an heir. On the eve of Fanny's wedding to Watson, Mrs. Thornton had passed on her own mama's advice, "give little, give seldom and above all give grudgingly for your duty as his wife is to ration his passions. Pray, tell, …..what did prim and proper Maria Hale, daughter of titled gentry, wife of a clergyman tell her naïve innocent Margaret about a man's ardour? Hannah asked herself, ….for if she had but an inkling of it, surely she would not intimately cling to any man who was not kin. "Quite odd", for at first Margaret would not take Thornton's hand in greeting as "no gentleman would offer his hand to a lady in the south, it is improper, too familiar" she said. And then, "quite contrarily" she flings her arms around the same gentleman's neck to protect him."

.

As for a son, no Mama knows who teaches him how to bed a woman. It is at a secret school known only to the brotherhood of men. Still, Mrs. Thornton was fairly certain her pious son has never had intimate relations with a woman for he always seemed aloof or shall we say immune to the attentions and flirtations from all..…yes,..…all the unmarried ladies of Milton until he encountered the elegant Miss Hale, and then he became helpless, ….. like a fly trapped in a spider's web.

.

Yet even if he was experienced in such sports, heaven knows what thrills and sensations must have coursed through him that moment on the balcony to have a woman's body touch him in such a familiar way. "She pressed her breasts and thighs against his body for goodness sake! My poor boy did not stand a chance." Hannah exclaimed. "Margaret Hale has now ….stirred up,… no, ….awakened,… no, ….inflamed… passion in him, and then she refuses to have him. Little wonder he is sullen. Vexation, I tell you!"

.

And when a man's passion is afire, well…

.

No one, least of all Mrs. Thornton had ever realized that it was Margaret that made Thornton go out to face the mob in the first place until she mentioned it now. What the maid saw was that "the Master was on the balcony to meet the mob, and then the lady, Miss Hale came out and then threw her arms around the Master" and then the whole sordid mess happened. No one was privy to the event that prompted him to go out to the mob before the soldiers arrived and Hannah had always wondered what he thought to gain by it. "What was he thinking?… facing an armed and angry mob dressed in a frock coat and top hat to talk to them man to man….imagine that.." she asked herself. No, for it never did make an iota of sense to her, and knowing John, he was never going to tell. Margaret had just supplied that missing bit of the puzzle for it was her that put such a stupid notion into his head. When did talk ever stop a brawl in Milton talk less of a riot. Talk to them indeed! Mrs. Thornton said with exasperation

.

Unbelievable! Yes, unbelievable that Thornton would do something so reckless at the prompting of a girl. He certainly loved her and craved her admiration, but men hardly listen to their womenfolk. One part of Hannah felt intense jealousy at this for if there was any doubt that she no longer had first place in her son's affections that doubt had just vanished 'like a puff of smoke' as she would say. Hannah supported him, but Margaret challenged him. Everyone knew that a man will one day transfer his love from a mother to a wife or heavens forbid, a mistress. Thornton has made up his mind that Margaret is the one for him and that's that.

.

Her strong brave son, her Samson has now met his Delilah, for this woman could get him to do almost anything, even risk his life, and break his poor Mama's heart. Such love is dangerous in the wrong hands. "Tis like a blunderbuss in the hands of a blind man" as dear old grandpapa Thornton used to say. The only saving grace is that Margaret herself was not aware that she had this power over John, and it will be best to keep it that way, unless, or rather until she returns his love.

.

But Hannah Thornton is sensible and she knows that such power as Margaret has may prove to be useful one day therefore .

Margaret was best kept as an ally than as a foe. Now, that is wisdom!

…

* * *

Someone once said a wise parent humours the desire for independent action, so as to become the friend and adviser when his absolute rule shall cease.

Hannah had thought the Hales were a very close knit family and shared everything. Her son certainly told her everything, but it would seem that Margaret never confided in her parents about the riot and the proposal. She was devoted to her parents for sure but that commitment was not fully requited, for she did not seem to be a priority in any of their considerations. Little wonder her only friend and adviser in Milton would be a girl her own age, now deceased, and now finds herself alone with no counsel. The poor girl has borne this burden on her own along with her mother's illness and death and then the problems about her brother and Leonard's death. Hannah could not help but feel so much compassion for her young charge, and having experienced so much pain herself, she subconsciously wrapped her arms around herself as if to hug Margaret. "Poor, poor child" she whispered.

…

* * *

Hannah suddenly felt cold and saw that the log in the fireplace needed turning. She was surprised how much time had gone with her musing. John should be home in the next hour. She goes to the window and sees the light in John's office still on, as he worked late into the night again. His insistence on coming to lunch means he has to work the extra hours to catch up. She did not mind that in the least because it meant he always had a good lunch during his working day and was in a better mood in the evenings.

Plus, he gets to see Margaret.

….

11


	4. Chapter 4 - Ignorance

Chapter Four

_A/N: Thanks for all the beautiful reviews/ favs / follows so far. It has encouraged me to keep up this story. Please keep the reviews coming. It makes me know how the story is received and what you guys like about it. _

_Thank you, thank you and thank you_

_FIS_

Ignorance is most certainly not bliss; Ignorance is torture.

John Thornton was not a coward, so he decided to speak to his mother that night, and find out what he would not bear to know

…

After dinner, Thornton joined his mother in the Drawing Room as usual. The self-assured man found himself tongue-tied and unable to broach the topic that had plagued him for weeks.

"Mother" he began nervously, "you seem to be getting along well with Miss Hale"

"Was that not what you wanted?" Mrs. Thornton replied.

"Yes, of course" said Thornton. "She seemed really happy with you too. What did you get to do together?" he asked.

"We talked about her family and general things like her accomplishments and interests" she replied.

A cynic would say that since Mrs. Thornton pays attention to gossip, useful and important gossip mind you, and Margaret has been the subject of the most interesting gossip lately, it stands to reason that all their talk should be about Margaret.

"Yes, but you seemed to have so much to say. One would think you had so much in common. What did she tell you?" he asked

"We've talked about her life growing up in Helstone and in London, and her family there. I believe you met her aunt, her cousin Edith and the Lennoxes at the Exhibition.

"I can't say I really cared for her Mr. Henry Lennox" Thornton said dismissively.

"Oh, so you know about him..." Mrs. Thornton looked up, genuinely concerned, and surprisingly panicked that Thornton may have a proper rival to beware of, instead of his mistaken obsession with Frederick Hale, the companion at Outwood Station.

"Yes, we were introduced" Thornton bit out, trying in vain to mask his jealousy. "They seemed familiar, he said with a sneer. They called each other by their Christian names, you know" he added.

"I don't think there is an attachment there though" Mrs. Thornton said reassuringly, knowing that Thornton would not be aware of Henry Lennox's failed bid, yet at the same wondering with some trepidation whether this Henry may also be considering renewing his suit to Margaret.

"So, what was he like….…this Mr. Henry Lennox?" his mother inquired, curious as to the sudden annoyance that this discussion had brought to him.

"Well, …like those gentlemen from the South…who probably never did a day of proper hard work in their lives.", he bit angrily for he remembered that it was the first time he saw Margaret after his ill-fated proposal.

John Thornton remembered, ….she was standing there, in the crowd, looking at him addressing a group of people, and then she caught his eye and immediately averted her eyes, then turned and then walked away from him. He had left his audience abruptly and he then went after her, and was even scolding her for his presumption to have known her mind when that Mr. Henry Lennox sauntered in on a tidal wave of arrogance and smugness and talked of "_how well our Margaret looked"_. Our Margaret, indeed! How John would long to call her 'my Margaret'.

"You were saying about my Marg….Miss Hale…..?" Thornton quickly changing the topic back to his tormentor.

"Yes, I was saying that I feel she is in need of female company, more so now that her mother has died" Hannah's voice broke in, bringing him back from wherever he went. "She has had few friends here and one died of consumption for inhaling cotton. She was the daughter of that odious Union fellow, Higgins that you hired." Thornton smiled, for there was almost always an insulting adjective attached anytime his mother mentioned Nicholas. "Her interests are different to dear Fanny's so she could not really form an attachment there. I believe Margaret must have been lonely in that house with only men for company."

"You mean Mr. Hale and Mr. Bell" he asked

"And you" she added.

"….And me?..." Thornton grimaced.

"It did cross my mind that she could be like you." Mrs. Thornton offered objectively

"Miss Hale? Like me?" John asked with a snigger

"Yes. You being stuck here in a house of women, you go to Crampton for male company as well." Hannah replied

"And is that where the similarity ends?" Thornton asked with sarcasm

"I'm just saying that spending more time with her makes me see her in a new light, or rather, understand her more. I still believe her to be stubborn, opinionated and too outspoken for such a young lady, and I wish she would stop traipsing around town on her own without much concern for what is seeming for a lady of her class", Hannah clarified.

"I'm glad to know this house is not enchanted, and you still have the exacting standards that Marg..….Miss Hale cannot live up to. I was beginning to wonder what had come over you when I thought you two had become the closest of friends that you really cared to be in her company." John smirked.

"I do care for her company. I really do. She is sensible and we talk. Perhaps she is growing on me. I dare say she has been helpful to me in turn, so the benefit is not all on her side. It has been nice to have her with me now that dearest Fanny is so busy with her decorations and home furnishings and settling into being Mrs. Watson.

"So you approve?" he asked with an optimistic lilt in his tone

"I was not happy she refused you, John. You are my pride and joy, and I want her to see you as special as I do,…as you are" she said, patting his cheek.

Thornton beamed

"You know she polished my silver thimble and it looks like new and wants to start on my pinking shears" Hannah continued, smiling as she reminisced over her sessions with Margaret. "I think that girl hates needlework for she always seems find some pressing task that deserves attention whenever I try to show her how to do any kind of intricate embroidery" she added.

Seeing he was getting nowhere with this banter, and wanting to be put out of his misery, John asked impatiently, "did…er….did she tell you of an attachment or understanding with her gentleman at the station?"

"No, she did not" his mother responded.

It was obvious she wasn't going to make this easy for him.

"You did ask if he was her lover?" he clarified, and the tremble in his voice now discernible.

"Margaret tells me her companion was not her lover, and she was parting from him that day at the station" she replied now feeling sorry for him.

"Not her lover, you say. So who is he?" he asked irritably.

Hannah shrugged and said "John, if I discovered anything that could hurt you, don't you think I would do my best to protect you?"

"Not her lover? Not her lover, you say? Oh Mother, you should have seen what I saw that night. The way they looked at each other, with desire, the tenderness in their embrace, the passion they must have shared" Thornton exclaimed.

"Are you certain that what you saw was desire and passion?" Mrs. Thornton asked turning away and blowing out her cheeks to suppress a laugh and knowing fully well he could not have known that he had witnessed a sibling embrace and also that jealousy would have made him imagine wild emotions.

"Oh yes it was. I'm sure of it. That image is indelibly graven in my mind. I cannot shake it off." John cried in desperation.

"My son, at such times, a good memory is unpardonable…." his mother counseled in a placating tone. "Son, don't torment yourself sore, I implore you"

He had replayed that image a hundred times, Margaret in his own arms, clinging on to him, their bodies perfectly moulded together, her head on his chest, lulled by his beating heart, his fingers on her cheeks, her neck, her hair, comforting her, soothing her, loving her and then suddenly the image switches to that other man's embrace, thereby oscillating his mood between euphoria and despair.

"…The most important thing for you to know is that this gentleman is not her lover, and he is gone now…" his mother's voice cutting into his latest daydream.

"…Not her lover.." Thornton thought about this for a moment, and first felt a sense of triumph, then gradually became despondent.

The fact that this man was not a rival also meant that Margaret would not have him anyway. He realised that he had felt some comfort in her rejection when he thought she loved another person. If she would not have him, in the absence of an alternative, then he was never going to be good enough.

John Thornton is the only vertex in this love triangle, and it is very lonely.

He, John would never have made her compromise her reputation nor compelled her to falsehood with the law, but she must have loved her companion with such passion to take such risks. This person may very well have left her presence but does still reside in her heart. Perhaps Margaret knows what it feels to love and not be wholly loved in return. Perhaps Margaret feels the kind of pain he feels, only for another…..

"He is not her lover, and yet, she will not have me" he thought to himself.

He took a deep breath and sighed heavily.

"What can I do now?" he asked audibly, his dejection increased with every passing second.

They sat in silence for a clear ten minutes, but it felt like an hour.

…

Mrs. Thornton, casting him a sidelong glance and sensing his thoughts gently breaks in, and starts to talk about the business.

"John" she asked, "do you remember when you wanted to gain the custom of that big haberdashery company from Wilmslow, how did you get Mr. Mason to favour Malborough Mills Cotton products over his current suppliers?"

He looked at her, clearly frustrated that she did not sense his present distress, but definitely grateful for the distraction into an area he knew and was successful in.

"Well, we had to be the best we could be" he replied. "We increased the quality of the products and visited their warehouses to find out what they needed and made sure we learnt to manufacture it" he went on. "They wanted fabric that took dyes very well and did not fray as easily, so we increased the thickness of cotton threads across the weft. We sent samples to them and invited their merchant over to Marlborough Mills for the day, and we took them to lunch at the Grand Hotel. I thought you would remember, Mother, you helped organize the visit."

"Yes I do" she nodded.

"We are not resting on our laurels, as we want to make sure we keep the custom of Masons Haberdashers" he stated as a matter of fact.

What about Alderley Mills? How did they take it when they switched suppliers? Hannah asked.

"Alderley Mills was a subsidiary company producing linen, so they were not competition actually" Thornton answered.

"How then did you handle the competition from Hampers, Slickson and Hensley Mills then, for I am certain they must envy you for getting this contract?" Hannah asked.

"Well", Thornton replied, "I cannot stop rivals from trying, but when a supplier feels confident in our product, and trust us, they are not likely to seek another. I am actually planning to visit them soon after Michelmas to find out if there are any new markets they may be looking to trade into. Don't worry, mother, I feel perfectly secure in this customer, but I do keep on my toes and will not take them for granted. It won't make any business sense"

"There, you have your answer, John," Mrs. Thornton said clasping her hands.

"What do you mean, mother?" he asked.

"You just asked what to do about your predicament" she replied.

"Yes?…" he asked enquiringly

"You understand things in terms of business, buying and selling and you have had a great deal of success in it. You are the youngest mill master in Milton and achieved what masters so much older than you have done in a shorter space of time. You deal honourably, fairly and with integrity and you are well respected by everybody" Mrs. Thornton began

"Thanks for the vote of confidence" he laughed

"You have courted this company and wooed them and despite competition from other rival companies you have secured their custom. You realised that these merchants would not come to you just because you are good at what you did, so you actively sought their custom by getting to understand them" she went on.

"So where is this going?" he queried.

"You have to do the same with Margaret Hale" she continued. "You have to woo her, John, and court her. You have to gain her love and respect despite the possibility of rival suitors, and you will always have rival suits for her. Befriend her and let her trust you. Friendship is the backbone for felicity in marriage. You cannot be like those Southern gentlemen who use poems and sonnets and flatteries to woo ladies. That is not who you are, and she has to love you for who you are, not as who you think she would love. If she doesn't love you for yourself, so be it."

Thornton listens intently, nodding

"You have to know her and desire to please her like you did for your merchants. She needs to see you as her suitor, and not just as her father's friend. John, you have to use what you know, and who you are to secure her affections. Otherwise, you will always be worried if any other gentlemen show interest in her."

He listened on with brows furrowed, his scowl slowly replaced with a pensive stare, and then, he nodded thoughtfully, gently lifted up his head, looked up at his mother, Mrs. Hannah Thornton, The Sage, and shook his head, smiled, and then he let out a throaty laugh.

They both sat in silence for a few minutes until Thornton spoke.

"That will be difficult now, Mother? he sighed heavily.

"Why, may I ask?" she inquired.

"Well, I er… told Margaret that I did not love her anymore" Thornton responded.

"And is that the truth?" she asked.

"Of course not. You know that….." said Thornton

"Well then, John, only the truth can set you free" his mother said.

Following the proposal, Thornton had visited Crampton on a regular basis and had brought fruits for Mrs. Hale. In all honesty, he was there to be in Margaret's presence, yet when he got there, he carefully avoided looking at her or making any conversation with her because of his pain. She in turn had wanted in some way to apologise, to make amends, to restore …to restore….their antagonistic friendship. She had felt a deep sense of guilt for her callousness to him and castigated herself for her loss, a loss of a love that she never realised was hers even when she had it. Both were wounded deeply, one by rejection and the other by remorse. Any modicum of civility was materially damaged when he reprimanded her for her indiscretion and her falsehood, yet he still loved her despite these weaknesses in her character. He had been harsh and told her he no longer loved her. She consequently became uncomfortable in his presence and avoided him altogether whenever he went to Crampton. Seeing her at Marlborough Mills with his mother had been the only times she had to be in his presence, but Thornton could still sense her discomfort whenever he came to lunch, but he was not going to stop doing that either, just as he did not stop going to Crampton. His pain juxtaposed her discomfort, and that was fair in love or lack of it as far as he was concerned, until now, that is.

"Mother" he asked, "I wouldn't know how to befriend or woo Miss Hale. Would you help me?"

"Are you certain this is what you want, for there are so many other ladies here in Milton who will accept your suit in an instant?" she inquired. For indeed Anne Latimer was a good prospect, and so were Abigail and Lydia Slickson as well as Susan Hampers. They were Milton girls, nice, polite, of good families and would come with attractive dowries.

"Yes, I'm certain. So would you help me?" he emphasized

"Yes John I will" she replied and got up, kisses him and goes off to bed.

"Lest I forget" she came back to remind Thornton, "Watson is hosting the quarterly Masters dinner this Saturday, and Fanny wants us there for five o'clock."

He nodded.

Thornton stayed on in the Drawing Room till quite late that night, in no particular hurry to rush to his bedchamber, but happy in thinking happy thoughts of Margaret Hale and enjoying thoughts of how he will endeavor to please her and hopefully ask to court her and then marry her, and then make love to her and then father her children.

18


	5. Chapter 5 - Perceptions

Chapter Five

_A/N: Thanks for all the beautiful reviews/ favs / follows so far. I'm pleased to see that you guys like the nice Mrs. Thornton storyline. Please keep them coming._

_Fiamma71 - I especially want to say a big thank you for your detailed and analytical reviews on each chapter. You have been so helpful. _

_To all: Thank you, thank you and thank you_

_FIS_

Perceptions

_The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances – Martha Washington_

John Thornton is a businessman but he wants to befriend a woman…..…..you know,….with breasts and all. He does not know any poems or sonnets or flatteries, but he wants to befriend the woman he loves more than life itself. He knows she is a friend to the workers at his mill and a friend to his own mother. She is just not a friend to him. Mind you, she saved him once from a stone that could have shattered his skull but then cast the first stone that shattered his heart. He now has to enlist the help and counsel of his mother to woo his friend's daughter. Remarkable indeed!

Thornton sat in Mr. Hale's study with a parcel on his lap for Margaret. His mother had made an apron for her use for the watercolour painting and had embroidered Margaret's initials on it. They had to find an excuse, you see, an opening for Thornton to renew his friendship, and it was decided that Thornton would give the apron to Margaret on his next visit. He was determined to hand it over in person as he had not seen her since her last lunch at Marlborough Mills, three days ago. She had been sporadically present…no…more like…. conspicuously absent from his study sessions and this was his chance to see her. He did not have the excuse of bringing fruits to a dying woman to visit as often as he wished, and he was too busy at the mill to increase the lessons with Mr. Hale. He was certain to see her when she came to lunch with his mother and he made sure he did not miss those chances, but he wanted to renew their contact at Crampton as well. Unfortunately, Margaret had gone to Princeton to see the Boucher children and he may well miss this opportunity to see her.

"I have to be leaving soon" Thornton said to Mr. Hale, having checked the clock for the umpteenth time with no sign of Margaret, "we have a Masters dinner meeting tonight at Watson's, and I have to be there for five. It will be my sister's first event as hostess and my mother has been over at her place all day to assist her."

"Yes of course, I won't keep you" said Mr. Hale. "Please give my regards to Mrs. Thornton and Mrs. Watson"

"I have a package here for Miss Hale" he said. "It is from my mother. I was hoping to give it to her in person."

"I'll see she get it" Mr. Hale said, collecting the parcel from Thornton.

"I do hope Higgins escorts her back from Princeton" he said as he got up to leave. "As magistrate, I can tell you that crime is getting worse in that district because more people are out of work as a result of the strike and are desperately poor. I do not wish to alarm you, Mr. Hale, but I think Miss Hale should be discouraged from making trips over there for the time being."

"I will speak with her, thank you" Mr. Hale said, as he saw a frustrated Thornton to the door.

"Poor hapless chap" Mr. Hale said to himself as he recalled when Mr. Bell had first alerted him to a _tenderesse_ between Thornton and Margaret.

"Why, Margaret would never think of him, I'm sure! Such a thing has never entered her head" Mr. Hale had said to Mr. Bell, who had replied

"Entering her heart will do."

When Hale had asked Margaret about it, she admitted she had refused Thornton's suit, and had no regrets so he had left it at that. Mind you, Hale did not know that it was an actual marriage proposal that she had refused, nor the circumstances that led to it. Nonetheless, he was disappointed for he liked Thornton and he was certain he would make a good husband for Margaret, but he knew how stubborn his daughter could be sometimes, most times, plus she always found a way to provoke John whenever they met. Margaret even stopped coming to sit in on their sessions, but when she started visiting Mrs. Thornton regularly, Hale hoped that perhaps some new understanding could develop there, and so he decided to let matters take their course.

The Masters' dinner at the Watsons was a splendid affair. All the Mill Masters with their wives and unmarried daughters were present. No expense was spared, and Fanny had redecorated and refurnished the house to reflect a woman's touch. Fanny's motto was flagrant ostentation and luxurious gaudiness, and it seemed to be admired by most of her guests except perhaps her mother and brother. She regaled the ladies on how she had bought the wallpaper, furnishings and ornaments from the Exhibition and copied the décor that the Dowager Marchioness of Peover had used in one of her reception rooms as featured in Isabella Beeton's Englishwoman's Domestic magazine. She proudly displayed the ornate chandeliers and gilded candelabra she purchased from York and the silk curtains and damask drapes from London. The six foot high mirror in the gilt frame across the hall was the only thing that came from Milton. The food was a delight, the wine was excellent, and the silver service was exquisite. Fanny Watson had made her mother and brother, and of course her husband very proud, and all the guests remarked about her excellent hospitality.

After dinner all the ladies retired to the Music Room and an adjoining Drawing Room and the men stayed on in the Dining Room to discuss business and later on joined the female folk. The younger ladies dressed in bright shades of yellows and pinks and greens and blues took turns to play arias and chamber music on the newly tuned Baby Grand piano, whilst the older ones dressed in muted hues and pastels of beige and taupe and teal and lilac settled down to play cards. Mrs. Thornton wore black, nobody wore red, and only the men wore white, white shirt that is. The small orchestra played the Blue Danube and guests enjoyed a night of good company, some dancing and entertainment.

There was so much to remark on as small groups gathered in different parts of the rooms to make small talk and observations, whispering in disapproving tones about one thing or the other. Several of the young ladies were in tight and painful looking corsets that slimmed their waists to inconceivable widths. It was a miracle that they did not pass out as they constantly circulated the room in the hope of catching the attentions of any of the unmarried gentlemen in general and that of John Thornton, master of Marlborough Mills in particular. All were desperate, most were optimistic, some were decent, several were determined but a few were downright scandalous. Visiting cards were exchanged and new connections were made for the coming season. Every maiden and mother there praised or rather envied Fanny Watson for her good fortune.

Mrs. Thornton sat by herself quietly observing the guests and sipping her tea. Thornton sat on the opposite end of the room and had this formidable stare such that his sister became worried that he must be displeased with her hospitality. Fanny pulled a chair and sat next to her brother. Watson frowned for he knew that his young wife never really accepted compliments from other people unless her mother and brother concurred, and she would take the cool stares of Mr. Thornton and his mother to mean she fell short again, and nothing on earth would placate her until she hears them say, "you've done well, Fanny, done well."

"Congratulations, Fanny," Thornton said forcing a smile, "you've done well. It has been a lovely evening, and I'm proud of you." He could tell his sister was flustered and wanted reassurance, and he knew his mood had probably disconcerted her.

"I'm so pleased you approve, John," she replied surprised and with a sigh of relief. "My Watson said I could have anything I wanted and I have tried to make the house as grand as ever. I know you think he is a bit grey, but he is just two years younger than Mamma. I am well situated here"

"As long as you are happy, Fanny" he said.

Are you happy?" he asked with genuine concern as he could sense agitation in her voice.

"Of course, I am," she replied wringing her hands. "People envy me, so I should consider myself lucky, don't you think?"

"What is the matter, Fanny?" Thornton asked, knowing she wanted to talk.

"Tell me" he cajoled

"I'm lonely, John, lonely" she said in a very low whisper looking around to see no one was watching which had to be a travesty for the whole world revolved around Fanny Watson. "Watson and I don't see each other except at mealtimes, and then he doesn't speak to me about anything important like you and Mamma talk. He treats me like a child. Everyone treats me like a child. I spend all my time decorating and furnishing the house. I worry about what to do once I finish doing up the whole house"

"You could always start on the grounds, I suppose," he suggested, knowing instinctively he was not being helpful. "Why not speak to Mother about whatever is really bothering you. She should be able to help you"

"Don't you mention any of this to her," she pleaded. "Promise me, John"

"As long as you promise me that you will speak to her, Fanny," he said.

Fanny had spent all her life working hard to get married and leaving Marlborough Mills behind. At least there, her family never ignored her. Now that she had accomplished it, she found herself at a loss as to how to enjoy her marriage, particularly as she was not yet with child. Watson just wanted an heir, a son to carry on the family name, and would give her any toy to play with so long as she fulfilled her duty. She had therefore channeled all her energies into homemaking to camouflage her real pain, and she found it ironic that anyone would envy her at all. She could plan for and control getting a husband, but having a child was completely outside her control, and that was the biggest paradox of all.

"Thanks for listening, John," she said, squeezed his hand and rose up with an exaggerated flair and returned to her guests.

Bridget Hampers and Joanna Slickson joined Hannah Thornton on an elegant but very uncomfortable couch with ornate arms and backrest to sip tea and after-dinner mints behind fluttering fans. Mrs. Thornton knew these ladies were there to pass on or take up gossip, for they were at the root of almost all rumour and conjecture, insinuations and innuendo as well as speculations about sexual shenanigans that circulated in the Milton grapevine. They were younger than Mrs. Thornton and had time on their hands to pay visits to the many tea parties and homes in town. Heaven help the mortal soul who fell foul of these ladies, and Hannah Thornton was not about to get careless.

They began with the usual pleasantries and rapidly moved on to the riot and the aftermath. Their main aim was to start arranging visits to the Thorntons, as it seemed that John Thornton was still unattached after the events that should undoubtedly have ensnared him. Both ladies had daughters that were unmarried, eligible and desperate, and Thornton was the best target and prize for any girl with any sense, common or otherwise for that matter.

"Mrs. Thornton" started Mrs. Slickson, a typical Milton woman, a northerner, and not one to beat about the bush "there was speculation that an upstart of a girl had tried to trap Mr. Thornton into matrimony during the riots. You must be relieved that it's all over now."

"I don't know where you got that idea from" Mrs. Thornton replied in an even tone, being mindful that these ladies were part of Milton's high society, and not wanting to alienate them. She realised that if Margaret was to marry John, it was important to quash all rumours and talk of impropriety as much as possible and ensure that the Hales retained their respectability particularly for the sake of future grandchildren. She knew only too well what it was like to be ostracized, to be on the wrong side of society.

"We heard that the scandal involved that Miss Hale who was at the annual dinner party at your place, the day before the riots" clarified Mrs. Hampers.

"My word!" exclaimed Mrs. Thornton. "The Hales are very good friends of ours, and Miss Hale did not scheme to trap Mr. Thornton at all," and she said it with a clear conscience knowing it to be the actual truth. "Mr. Hale is Mr. Thornton's friend and he was at his house just this afternoon. I beg you not to any pay attention to rumours, as it ruins peoples' reputations, and I dare say Miss Hale is a respectable and honourable young lady" she added, looking across the room at her son seated sulking in the opposite corner and she could only surmise that his excursion to Crampton did not turn out as expected….. as he wanted.

"There was other talk about Miss Hale being seen out walking at night with a strange man" whispered Mrs. Hampers smugly, "did you know about that?"

"Yes, I did" she replied. "The gentleman was their relation who had come to visit when Mrs. Hale was dying and her father had sent her on that errand to escort him off to station. He would hardly ask his daughter to act with impropriety, don't you think? There was nothing untoward about it. They do have family and friends in London and Oxford, you know," she added.

"My servants say they hear she goes to Marlborough Mills regularly" Mrs. Hampers then stated, clearly frustrated that the conversation was not yielding the desired outcome to disparage Miss Hale.

"Yes she does. I am her chaperone. Her dying mother handed her over to my charge, and she comes to my house at my invitation, but as she is in mourning, I don't take her visiting, and we stay at home" Mrs. Thornton explained, remembering with alarm that there was also a grapevine below stairs that ran amongst the servants and through whom the secrets of households leaked across town.

"I suppose I must have been mistaken about her then" said Mrs. Slickson, also irritated that there seemed to have been a plausible explanation for every issue they'd raised.

Mrs. Hampers did a quick mental calculation and assessed that with the mourning period for a parent being one whole year, then the beautiful Margaret Hale would not be able to attend balls, parties, soirees and picnics for the next ten months which will include the coming Season, and that will be one less competition for the single eligible men in Milton. Hopefully by then, her own daughter, Susan will be happily ensconced in her matrimonial home, and she could afford to be more benevolent.

"It seems we were all mistaken," admitted Mrs. Hampers resignedly. "When her mourning period is over, perhaps you could bring her visiting"

"Yes, I will, thank you" she said, and with that, Hannah Thornton hoped that her own version of events had passed into Milton Grapevine, which estimating by the efficiency of these ladies in the past, should be heard in most of Milton by Monday, …Wednesday night at the latest.

At the end of the evening, Mrs. Slickson arranged to visit Marlborough Mills the coming Tuesday with her daughters, and the Hampers were scheduled for the following week. Mrs. Thornton made a mental note to ensure that John did not come home to lunch on those days, and she would send a picnic tray to him at the mill. As Thornton was not yet courting Margaret, she could neither state that he was unavailable and unattached, nor discourage them from visiting, as that would reignite the gossip that she had just quelled. It was also important that Thornton be not in the company of the girls as it could raise their hopes unnecessarily. Although they were accomplished and heiresses, he would have found them boring and vacuous, and there was little merit to be gained by subjecting him to such tedium. In any case, he had set his cap at the intelligent and interesting Margaret Hale, and it would be futile to even attempt to dissuade him.

On the day the Slicksons were due to visit, Mrs. Thornton asked her son to keep away from the house, but he was having none of it. He had not seen Margaret for six days, not counting on Sunday where she scuttled off in the direction of the churchyard to place fresh flowers on her mother's grave just as he approached her father after the service. Thornton found it frustrating that when he finally had a strategy to woo and court her, he doesn't then get the chance to use it.

"Mother, but if I don't come to lunch today, I won't see her here till Thursday, unless you ….."he pleaded

"No John," she interrupted, "I'm not making another apron. You just have to wait till Thursday to see her here, or take your chances at Crampton tomorrow. She forgot her book behind and you could always return it and get to see her there."

"But why? I don't understand why you would not want me here" he queried.

"Etiquette, John, etiquette" she replied. Margaret is still in mourning and she should be seen to exercise restraint from encouraging a man's attentions at this time out of respect for her mother. We have to maintain discretion about your intentions."

"That will not be difficult. Miss Hale tends to disagree with me, so they will also think she doesn't want me" Thornton argued. She won't have me anyway" he said

"No, it will be difficult, John" she countered. "Try as you may, you are unable to hide your regard for her, and out of envy, those Slickson girls will use your attentiveness to her as a means to besmirch her character as a flirt and tease if she does not seem to return your regard. She will bear the brunt of criticism."

"I could act as if I did not care for her. Will that not do?" he suggested

"Why would you want to mislead her?" Mrs. Thornton said. "You love her, and you could lose whatever ground you may have gained with her as you are yet to secure her affections."

"Does that mean I cannot court her for one whole year then?" he cried in exasperation.

"No, of course not. That is not what I am saying" she replied. "It's just that we cannot let your intentions be known to outsiders, so concealment is very crucial at this time."

"I understand" he sighed

"I will send a nice picnic lunch to you at the mill" she promised.

"Can….er….Margaret bring it?" he teased

"No, John" Mrs. Thornton laughed and shook her head.

"Thank you Mother" he murmured, disgruntled and kissed her and went off to the mill.

Just before teatime, he waited by the window of his office to watch Margaret arrive at the gates of Marlborough Mills and make her way from the gates of the mill to the house. She looked up and saw him, nodded and quickly looked away, and he was certain he saw her redden just as he did, and then he went back to his work.

He would have to wait till Thursday to see Margaret.

Forty-eight long hours.

9


	6. Chapter 6 - Friendship Part 1

Chapter Six

Friendship Part 1

The heart has its reason which reason knows not – Blaise Pascal_  
_

Thornton was back in Crampton on the following day, Wednesday, sitting in Mr. Hale's study with another parcel to see Margaret. He knew she would avoid him, but this time, he was in no hurry to go anywhere but home for dinner. She had left her book behind on Tuesday and he wanted to speak to her about it. He was also armed with three other lame excuses just in case, and he resolved in his mind that the lameness of his excuses would neither deter him from seeing her, nor thwart his attempt to renew his friendship in Crampton.

This time, she was at home, but she was resting upstairs and Dixon said she asked not to be disturbed. Low spirits, she claimed. Thornton knew she had had a torrid time when the Slicksons came to Marlbourgh Mills the previous day. His mother had said that the combination of the three women had succeeded in making her quite discomfited which puzzled Mrs. Thornton as to why the confident and self-assured Margaret would be tongue-tied, and then she realised that Margaret was shy when interacting with other women, particularly non-kin because of the myriad of unspoken rules interspersed with snide put-downs, disparaging observations, gossipy giggles and the dreaded cold-shoulder with which women competed and bullied each other, whereas, with men, there were no ambiguities in their communication and she did not have to second-guess them. The fall-out of the riot and the resulting gossip dented her confidence and she feared that these women would have had no qualms about making her feel uncomfortable. Nevertheless, Mrs. Thornton felt that she just had to learn to interact more with other women and endure their company to stand her ground in Milton society. This was perhaps one area where Fanny would have fared better than Margaret for she too was once one of them.

Margaret would probably have been able to hold her own, one-on-one, but she was also blindsided because she did not know they were going to have company until she arrived at the house. Mrs. Thornton had given her the simple advice, to say as little as possible, smile, shrug, nod, but don't let them goad her into any arguments. Holding her tongue was perhaps one of the most difficult things for her to do particularly when hostile silliness and inane pettiness abounded twofold, or rather threefold and some, for Mrs. Slickson was just as bad, nevertheless she obeyed Mrs. Thornton's counsel and stayed mostly mute.

Mrs. Thornton could sense her disappointment that John could not join them for lunch. She also saw how hard she tried mask her jealousy when Slickson girls talked openly about their regard for Mr. Thornton, and giggled about all the subtle and overt tactics employed by all the other ladies present at the dinner who were also competing for his attention. This probably brought on her despondency….her melancholy for she was confronted by the fact that so many ladies were very keen to marry the same man she had refused. It was no more hearsay. Margaret herself could not understand why the thought of losing him pained her, for she had felt that all she wanted was his good opinion so she decided that she would have to find a way to survive this hell, this purgatory of her own making, and it just drained the energy out of her.

When it was time to leave, Thornton made it clear to Mr. Hale that he really wanted to speak to Margaret about the book, so she was summoned downstairs to the study, and her reluctance to see him was evident for all to see.

"Miss Hale, I hope you are feeling much better. My mother sends her regard. I promised her I would endeavor to see you in person and report back to her how you were faring. She hopes to see you tomorrow," Thornton said

She nodded looking at her feet, her hands, anywhere but his piercing blue eyes.

He swiftly moved on to his second lame excuse, "I apologise for my absence at lunch yesterday. It could not be helped. My mother said you assisted her in receiving our guests and I thank you for that. We both value your support"

He glanced at Mr. Hale from the corner of his eye and clearly saw the look of amusement in his face that was so reminiscent of his wily friend, Mr. Bell as he observed Thornton's gallant attempt to coax Margaret into dialogue. He quickly looked away, rolled his eyes, cleared his throat and adjusted his cravat and collar to hide the reddening hue rising up his neck to his face. He then decided to play his trump card, and hold on to the third lame excuse for another time.

"I also wanted to return your book to you, but if you pardon me, may I speak to you about it" he asked nervously.

She nodded.

"Miss Hale, in case you forget your book at Marlborough Mills in future, I took the liberty to purchase another copy which we will keep it in my house for your use. You would not need to carry it everywhere with you and you can leave your copy at home and continue reading the one at my house" he explained.

"Mr. Thornton, are you going to then buy a copy of every book I decide to read?" she replied, looked up at him and scoffed.

"It will be a way of developing the collection in my library too," he explained. He knew Mr. Hale probably saw through his ruse, and probably knew his intentions were honourable, but as he had not been called out on it, he decided to carry on regardless. "If you let me know in advance, I could get two copies ordered and it would be no trouble, I promise you. You could always remind me whenever I come to Crampton if that is agreeable with you."

Margaret nodded and thanked him. She wasn't fooled either, but he was past caring. His heart had been nursing a chronic wound, and a hurt pride would not make it any worse. He will persevere and as a good businessman, he will get what he wants…..needs…..eventually or Heavens forbid, never.

He said his goodbyes, reached out to take his coat and hat from the stand in the hallway, nodded and quickly went out of the door and only stopped to catch his breath after about fifty yards, straightened up and walked home, and looked forward to dinner and lunch tomorrow.

Margaret stared at the door for about a good ten seconds astounded that Mr. Thornton would be friendly to her when it was she who had shown questionable character. She turned round to see her father looking intently at her.

"Thornton is a good man, child," Mr. Hale said. "Goodnight, Margaret."

"I know, I know," she whispered as she watched her father go up the stairs all the way to his room, and then sat on the bottom stairs to think over what had just happened and she just knew she would toss and turn all night in bed.

Then she remembered that she had forgotten to thank him for the apron as well.

3


	7. Chapter 7 - Friendship Part 2

Chapter Seven

Friendship Part 2

_What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies." _\- Aristotle_  
_

* * *

The following day Thornton found Margaret alone in the Drawing Room setting up her easel and art equipment to start work on Mrs. Thornton's likeness in watercolour. She moved around the room looking for the best angles for the light and shade to work from. Mrs. Thornton had just stepped out to see the cook. He debated with himself whether to go in and risk his mother's ire of having both of them together in a room alone, unchaperoned, or rather wait for her to return.

It actually made sense to wait for his mother to return because he could no longer trust his ability to maintain a calm demeanour and gentlemanly conduct when Margaret was present. His heart was firmly on his sleeve and the way he saw it, she was either too blind to see it or too proud to care about his predicament, and until such a time that he could penetrate her closed heart, closed only to him that is, he needed those to whom she had allowed access such as his mother to guide him and moderate his encounters with her.

He lingered in the doorway and watched her, studied her, with a pencil tucked behind her right ear, fascinated with the way she clamped her lower lip between her teeth in concentration as she painstakingly peered through the rectangular frame she formed between her outstretched forefingers and thumbs towards Mrs. Thornton's favourite seat comparing different vantage points; and how she bobbed her head to the tune she was humming, left-right, left-right, left-left, right-right. She was clearly enjoying herself, and Thornton mused of several other ways that he could really add to her enjoyment, or rather their mutual enjoyment that he must have made a strange sound for she had on a puzzled and startled expression when she noticed him at the door.

He reasoned to himself that the people who had the luxury to adhere to propriety had probably never been subjected to the unrelenting and irresistible force to flout it, and in his case, that compelling force stood before him with a beguiling smile that beckoned him and had just stripped him of all restraint. Therefore he stepped into the room, and closed the distance between them and joined her next to the easel.

* * *

Margaret apologized for her tardiness on the previous Saturday for not getting back home on time to see and thank him for the apron sent by Mrs. Thornton. She had been delayed because one of the Boucher children had sustained an injury and had stayed on to help Mary Higgins to make some poultice to tend to the wound.

"Where would you like this?" he asked, lifting up the easel, and Margaret pointed to the third window. She then walked over to join him and they both looked out into the mill yard. The last time they both stood there, at that window, Margaret had come for a waterbed for her mother, and then goaded him to go down into a perilous situation.

She had so much to apologise for. She had to make a great effort to galvanise his trust again.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Thornton, for provoking you into danger that day," she said as she gripped and flexed her fingers on the horizontal bar across the window.

He moved his hands next to hers on the bar, his right hand next to her left, and they both looked at them, his large hand next to her dainty one with tapered fingers and adorned by a gold bracelet, a half-inch apart; and then his errant small finger moved to touch hers, and then travelled back and forth from her knuckles to her fingernail, searching for trouble.

"These hands, Miss Hale," he said still caressing the finger, oblivious to the strange sensations he was awakening in Margaret, "your hands, they saved me on that day."

They both stood there silently, in their thoughts, reminiscing about everything that had happened since that day. A proposal, a rejection and an indiscretion had afflicted them. Surely Margaret had sustained the greater injury for she passed from childhood to old age and skipped her youth and womanhood because marriage was closed to her now yet it was John that felt the greater pain.

"How are you bearing up, Miss Hale?" he asked. "You must miss her sore."

Tears sprung to her eyes and he swiftly brought out his handkerchief and actually moved to wipe her tears and their hands brushed on her cheeks.

"Forgive me," he said, but made no move to retrieve his hands as his fingers tenderly stroked her cheeks, and then sensing that his travel down the path of ungentlemanly conduct was gathering pace, he slowly withdrew and moved his hands back to their former place on the window bar.

"Whatever for? I am the one who needs your forgiveness, Mr. Thornton," she said

"You told my mother that your gentleman was not your lover," he stated

She nodded, relieved that he knew.

"I'm pleased that my mother is your friend. She knows how to handle these difficulties better than anyone I know. Just let me know if you need any assistance, and I would be happy to oblige. I would like to count myself as a friend as well" he leaned in and whispered to her

"Difficulties..?..."she asked

"Yes, difficulties. She had to survive the aftermath of a scandalous abandonment too, widowhood, poverty and ostracism notwithstanding" he sighed and moved to close the gap, standing at the window, shoulder to shoulder, evoking solidarity of heartbreak. He understood her pain perfectly, for it mirrored his own. She loved her companion, just like Thornton loved her. She would flout propriety for her companion, just as Thornton would do for her. She would defend him at considerable personal risk, and the list goes on. And like Thornton, her love was also unrequited. He vowed to himself to help her get over her pain, her heartbreak.

"I was there, Margaret. I was there. I saw you. I saw how you looked at him. You loved him, you really loved him, didn't you?" he queried tenderly

"Yes, but….," she lowered her eyes and turned her head away

"Look at me. Look up at me, please" he demanded. "Did he know how much you loved him? He should not have left you. Could he not have stayed on albeit secretly to comfort you, Miss Hale? Call me an uncouth northerner, but we up here would never leave someone we loved at such a critical time. You should have told him of the trouble he caused you, and everyone else. That scoundrel should have been made to come back and fulfill his obligation to you," he said

"He had no obligation left to fulfill," Margaret now getting defensive.

"I cannot believe this," he moved and turned her to face him, his hands on her shoulders. "It is your aversion to obligations, again." He straightened up and drummed his fingers on the window sill, shaking his head in wonder "He abandoned you and yet you are willing to forgive him. If your loyalty is so unwavering to those you love, please be kind to those who love you, for my mother lo…."

"Good Lord. Get away from that window both of you" Mrs. Thornton called out as she came into the room and saw them. "Don't you know you could be seen? What if one of the servants walked in and saw you?" The last thing she would want was to have any conjecture of Margaret being compromised on her watch, in her house and with her own son; notwithstanding the speculation between them from the riots; and now the sight before her spoke volumes.

They sprang apart and Margaret staggered backwards and collided with a side table on which a chess set was displayed. Thornton reached out to steady her and pulled her to himself, and the chess set and pieces fell to the floor.

Mrs. Thornton saw the twinkle of delight in his eyes and glowered at him for flouting the rules and then pulled Margaret to one side to admonish her. "Don't let John take liberties," she said, "he is my son, but he is still a man."

They both apologised to Mrs. Thornton sporting matching shades of red on their faces, as they bent down to pick up the chess pieces and put them back on.

"Do you play chess, Miss Hale?" he asked, for he saw that she put the pieces back in the right places.

"I used to watch Papa and Fre…a friend, I mean, play, and I had always wanted to learn but never got round to it. We must have misplaced our set in the move," she said as she corrected her slip, cast a quick furtive glance at Mrs. Thornton, who gave her a pointed glare in return and then a sidelong glance at Thornton before quickly averting her eyes back to her embroidery. Thornton did not miss the secret glances between the two women and wondered about it for a moment and shrugged resignedly for they seemed to have this connection that no one could penetrate.

"I could teach you, if you want?" he offered clearly ignoring his mother's knowing roll of the eyes. A good businessman should seize any opportunity to extend his influence.

Margaret looked at Mrs. Thornton who nodded back her approval, and she turned to Thornton and said, "thank you, I would like that very much."

"John was very good at chess. I don't know why he no longer plays. He even used to beat his father at it," Mrs. Thornton said

"I don't doubt it. Why did you stop playing, Mr. Thornton?" Margaret asked.

"Long story, Miss Hale, I learnt to play chess in boarding school and we would sit up playing long after lights-out shielded by blankets with lanterns to escape discovery by the head boy and the housemaster, Mr. Preston. We would then be bleary-eyed and tired in the mornings and take our forty winks during morning prayers in the chapel."

"Sleeping in church? That was very bad," Mrs. Thornton said.

"There's more," he said. "I got into trouble eventually. One day, I dreamt, or rather had a nightmare. I was on this life-size chessboard, and then all thirty-two chess pieces came to life and started chasing me across the board. It was frenetic. I had four rooks, four knights, four bishops, two queens, two kings and sixteen pawns in black and in white coming after me all at once. I had just about dodged the black bishop's crook when I saw that the white knight was about to drive a spear through me that I jumped up and yelled for help right in the middle of silent prayer and right in front of the whole school."

"Oh, dear," Margaret exclaimed.

"Oh dear indeed. The chaplain was outraged for my impudence and sacrilege. After I got whipped, seven lashes to keep me true to God, Queen and country, I had to memorise five liturgies from the Book of Common Prayer in Latin and then he put me on bell-ringing duty, which meant I had to be up by five in the morning every day for the rest of the term, and of course, my chessboard was confiscated."

"That explains why the headmaster wrote to your father to ask if we still attended church," Mrs. Thornton said.

"I never got to answer to Father for my misdemeanour. I came home that summer and my priorities changed," he stated.

"If it evokes such sad memories, then perhaps we shouldn't play," Margaret said

"Not at all, for I had always wanted to resume playing," he corrected. "It will give me something to teach you in exchange for your father's tutoring, and I would even get to play with him as well."

Now he just has to get a second chess set for Crampton.

…

* * *

../…..

"Miss Hale," Thornton asked, "tell us what it was like growing up in Helstone?"

"I loved it," she said. "We…I played outdoors most of the time because Mama did not want any running in the house. I would sometimes climb into the tree house with my telescope and pretend to be a sea captain. Other times I would fly my kites, catch butterflies, do some painting or just read a book"

"So, why did you go to live in London?" Mrs. Thornton asked

"My mother was convinced that I would turn into a boy if I stayed on in Helstone. One day, I climbed up the vine to the roof of the Vicarage to retrieve my kite that got stuck on the weathervane and I dislodged a chimney pot down the chimney and poured soot all over the parlour. That sealed my fate and she decided that I would move to London and learn to be a lady and Edith needed a companion as well. I was nine years old. I always came back to Helstone for the summer whenever Edith and Aunt Shaw travelled to Europe."

"How did life in Helstone compare with London?" asked Thornton.

"Life in London was an endless cycle of dance classes, music lessons, visiting families, picnics, galas, assemblies and the constant talk about fashion for the Season. I could not venture out without a chaperone and the only place of solitude was my bedchamber. In Helstone, I could roam free without a care in the world."

"Milton is not Helstone. You can't roam free here without a care in the world, you realise, at least not in Princeton. It is no longer safe," he said

"We keep coming back to this, don't we?" Margaret replied

"Surely, the poverty and desperation there should make it is our Christian duty to be helpful and charitable and to provide food baskets for the children," Margaret said

"You did the same during the strike, and that did not stop them from almost killing you in the riot. It is not safe to go there and certainly not for a young lady," Mrs. Thornton replied

"What happened during the riot was unfortunate. I know my way around Princeton, and in any case I am not scared of them," she argued

"You should be" Mr. Thornton said. "Is there anything we can say to stop you going there at all?"

"No" Margaret lifted her chin defiantly.

"Miss Hale, I could run your errands to Princeton for you instead. It will be no trouble for me to do this service for you, I promise you," Thornton offered

"I don't want to impose on you, sir. You are very busy at work, and I would not wish to take up anymore of your time" she replied

"I insist" Thornton said.

Margaret was skeptical. Involving Mr. Thornton in her affairs would only generate speculation, so she declined.

Margaret's stubbornness grated on Mrs. Thornton nerves when she realised that even the fear of crime would not deter her and so she felt she had to come with other options.

"Margaret, please let me know if you plan to make any journeys to Princeton and I will get Jane or one of the other servants to go with you. I could even go with you myself. Just promise me you won't go there alone" Mrs. Thornton insisted. She reasoned to herself that perhaps the inconvenience of getting an escort may reduce the frequency of trips and make her lose interest in going there eventually.

"I promise Mrs. Thornton," she agreed reluctantly, but with a sense of foreboding.

She looked at her son and they nodded to one other.

* * *

…./…

Hannah observed the banter between Thornton and Margaret as they continued to exchange stories of youthful escapades, and she had to admit that, this young lady did make him really happy, for she had never seen him so relaxed, playful and content, and this was something she had not managed to do as his mother, and she felt a twinge of jealousy. It also pained her to realise how lonely he must have been all these years, and how much sacrifice he had made, having committed his life to improving the lot of his family and becoming a successful businessman and at the same time denying his own needs without complaints. Mind you, he had always had a serious streak in him and was so like her, and so unlike frivolous Fanny and their father, and it was that sense of responsibility that made it possible for him to surrender his youth with little difficulty and take on the mantle of being the head of his family.

"He does deserve some happiness, to have his love returned, if only Margaret Hale would be kind to her boy and have him and if only she realised that she loved him back," she reasoned.

../….

That night, ever so often, Thornton would burst into spontaneous chuckles as he reminisced about youthful memories and Hannah was pleased for the revival of laughter and mirth from their long-standing slumber back to his life. "About time," she said.

Mrs. Thornton was also pleased that she may have found a way to finally stop Margaret from going to Princeton District, or so she thought.

It had been a successful day indeed

8


	8. Chapter 8 - Intentions and Actions

Chapter Eight

Intentions and Actions:

"_Intentions do not insulate us from the consequences of our actions_"

Jon D. Harrison

* * *

"Margaret, please let me know if you plan to go Princeton and I will get Jane or one of the other servants to go with you. Just promise me you won't go there alone" she insisted.

"Yes, I promise Mrs. Thornton" she agreed reluctantly but with a sense of foreboding

* * *

….../

Just as she left Marlborough Mills that day, Margaret remembered that she had placed an order for a gift for Mrs. Thornton's birthday from the joiner whose shop was near the Princeton District, and she had to go and pay for them at once for the gift to be ready on time for Sunday and to give it to her after church. She had the idea for a small clamp to be fitted onto magnifying glass that could be attached to Mrs. Thornton's chair and be used in her embroidery especially the intricate work. She also wanted Mrs. Thornton's name engraved on it. It cost seven shillings, and she had received a guinea from Mr. Bell for her birthday, and thought to use it for the gift. She saw Mary Higgins leave Marlborough Mills at the same time and asked after the Boucher children, and requested that Mary accompany her to the joiners, on her way home. Margaret reasoned that her promise to Mrs. Thornton was not to go to Princeton alone, so she would not have broken it. In any case, the gift was meant to be a surprise and she would have had to disclose her intentions to Mrs. Thornton if she asked for Jane or any of her servants to escort her. Dixon would never go with her to Princeton district and she did not want to involve Mr. Thornton in her business lest anyone think she was scheming to get him again.

.

As they left the joiners, Margaret turned to go home, and Mary was going to escort her out of the district. A bunch of ruffians rushed at them and snatched her purse and punched her in the face. She had a cut to her lip, which swelled up to thrice its size, pain in her ribs, as well bruises to her left cheek and eye. Margaret was shaken to the core, and she sat on the steps outside the shop in tears. She had paid the joiner but the rest of her money was now gone, and so was her bracelet. She looked down at her wrist and it was also badly bruised and swollen. Mary helped her up and escorted her home to Crampton. She crept up to her room and washed her face, grateful that she was able to avoid her father and Dixon. She then laid on her bed and wept, scared and in pain.

.

She excused herself at dinnertime and her father thought it odd, for Margaret was rarely ill. For the next two days, she kept to her room and said she still felt unwell, but refused that the doctor be called. She swore a reluctant Dixon to secrecy to not let on to her father how bad she looked, and together they succeeded in covering up the matter. She could not go to church and sent a note to Mrs. Thornton as well, and this intrigued the older woman for she did not detect any signs of an ailment the last time they met. Hannah requested Thornton to deliver a note to Margaret asking after her wellbeing, and to know if she could be of service to her, and determined to wait a few more days and then pay a visit to Crampton.

.

When he went to Crampton the next day to deliver the new chess set and was told that she was still unwell, he then wondered whether her monthly cycle was the cause of her strange affliction. He lived with women and he was aware of those things and he knew how self-conscious and secretive they were about it. He recalled the day, many years back, when Fanny changed from a carefree and spirited young girl to being guarded around him and then realised she had encountered that delicate milestone of puberty, and all the attendant complications. It was not a topic he could discuss with his mother, nor did he let them know he was aware of the several tactics the pair of them employed to camouflage the onset of Fanny's newfound status.

.

"Margaret dear, Mr. Thornton is here to see you," her father called outside her door. "Mrs. Thornton is also very worried about you. Are you able to receive him?" She was thirsty and desperately wanted to get some water, but decided to soldier on for as long as possible. She also considered the options available to her and quickly decided to feign sleep, and after a few more knocks, Mr. Hale gave up and went downstairs to play chess with Thornton, a deflated Thornton, for he would have loved to comfort her, not that he knew what that entailed for women in that condition. "Poor Margaret," he thought.

.

Nature called. Bad timing.

.

Margaret had to leave her room and go downstairs, but she could not take the risk of discovery, because she could hear her father and Mr. Thornton laughing downstairs as they enjoyed their game.

.

She really had to go downstairs.

.

Thornton was very much aware of her footsteps pacing up and down from the floor above and he became distracted in his game. "Check" Mr. Hale said, bringing his attention back to the game. He then moved his knight to take the Mr. Hale's bishop and gave himself some reprieve. By that time he distinctly heard Margaret's steps coming upstairs from the basement on the way back to her room. He excused himself and went to the door, and saw her tiptoeing up the stairs carrying a pitcher of water.

.

"Miss Hale, are you feeling better?" he asked.

.

She gave out a strangled cry, mortified to be discovered sneaking around in her own house. She did not respond but she was grateful that she had veiled her face with the lace mantilla that Delores had sent to her. She pulled the shawl and veil across her face completely and ran upstairs, wincing in pain, and holding her side and spilling some water on the stairs.

.

Poor Margaret, he thought. How he would have really wanted to tell her she did not have to remain in confinement at such a time. He understood.

.

"Check mate" Mr. Hale said. "We have to do this again, John. You can come anytime," rising up to join Thornton in the hallway and see Margaret disappear into her room and slam the door behind her. "Poor John"

.

"As for teaching Margaret to play, you have my blessing too," Hale added, and Thornton pondered at his choice of words…."_you have my blessing_…."for he longed…...hoped to one day hear those words with respect to a different request.

.

"Thank you sir," Thornton replied. "Will you be present to maintain propriety?"

.

Mr. Hale nodded.

…/…/

* * *

Two days later, Thornton went by the greengrocers to purchase a selection of fruits for Margaret on his way to Crampton. As he left the market, he was stopped in the street by the joiner's assistant who told him that his sister's order for his mother was ready but she had not yet come to pick it, and he had assumed it was needed urgently as he was told it was to be a surprise gift. Thornton arranged to get it delivered to Marlborough Mills the next day, and was told it was already paid for. When he was told that Margaret still kept to her room, he suggested to Mr. Hale that perhaps they should call for the doctor, for he reasoned to himself that this affliction of hers had been unusually protracted for what he had thought it was.

.

When the message came from Fanny that she had not ordered any gift for Mother, Thornton realised at once that the joiner must have mistaken her for Margaret, and he became convinced when he discovered that the joiner's shop was near the Princeton district for his sister would never be found dead in that neighbourhood, no, not for a thousand guineas.

.

He then became aware that Higgins had been avoiding him all week and decided to corner the older man and question him. Higgins suggested it was best he spoke to Miss Margaret himself, but when he saw Thornton's temper rising, he was then told about the robbery. To say he was angry was an understatement. He was livid, he was irate, he was seething with volcanic rage. He was also extremely anxious as to the extent of her injuries and discomfort. He stormed out of the mills into the house to see his mother and then made his way to Crampton.

.

"I'm off to Crampton, Mother," he said without breaking his stride, "there is something I need to speak to Miss Hale about. I will see you later and we will talk about it" He then grabbed the parcel from his study and went out, slammed the front door behind him and strode in fury out of the gate, leaving Mrs. Thornton more puzzled than ever.

.

Margaret was in the Drawing Room when she heard the front door open and Dixon speaking with Mr. Thornton downstairs. "Mr. Hale is out, but Miss Hale is in the Drawing Room, but I don't know if she can see you now sir" she heard Dixon say to Thornton. Margaret was trapped. She could not make it upstairs to her room without been seen in the hallway.

.

"I know, I know everything," he said to Dixon in a low intimidating tone, the anger discernible in his voice, "and I am not leaving till I see her" and he pushed past her into the hallway, not bothering to take off his hat and outer coat he went up the stairs.

.

He came into the room and saw Margaret with her back turned to the door and head bowed, with Dixon following close behind. He circled around her once, twice, thrice, then peered down to look closely at her face and gasped at the bruise, which had now turned an ugly purple, and the lip was only slightly swollen but still looked sore. He took her hand and saw the scratches and bruises on her wrist in place of the vacant bracelet and circled his thumb around the wound tenderly, and sighed "oh Margaret" and then dropped her hand and took a step back and scanned her from head to toe.

.

She stood, a pathetic sight, head bowed, hands clasped together, lips in a pout as if she would burst into tears anytime now. He knew that if she was his beloved, he would hold her, and kiss her, and comfort her and then scold her and then comfort her and finally then kiss her again to make it all better. But she was not his beloved, so he just scolded her. He really did.

.

"So, you went to Princeton, you risked your life, when you promised my mother you wouldn't" he thundered in exasperation. "Margaret, you may lie to me, you may even lie to the police inspector, but please, do not lie to my mother. She loves you very much and you have disappointed her tremendously. Doesn't a promise, your word mean anything to you?"

.

"Mr. Thor..…."she started

.

He continued, "are you so lacking in feeling and compassion for the hearts of those who love you, for your poor father and my mother, and m….., and your poor father, and Mr. Bell? How can you be so reckless as to go to such a dangerous place even though we warned you about it?"

.

"….sorry…"she tried again

.

"My mother will be coming back with me and will speak to you herself, so make sure you stay at home, and do not keep to your room," he went on

.

"Mr. Thornton, I'm so sorry, I can explain" she protested.

.

"Don't bother. I know all I need to know….. and oh yes, this is for you" he handed over the parcel, and as you see, you cannot hide anything from me…, and lest I forget, use this balm for the bruises" he added as he left, giving her the ointment he just purchased from the apothecary on his way to Crampton.

.

"He hates me, he really does" Margaret cried as she ran up to her room, threw herself on her bed and wept for she had now alienated Mrs. Thornton, the only friend she had left in the Thornton household.

…/….

5


	9. Chapter 9 - Actions and Consequences

Chapter Nine

Actions and Consequences:

"_Over time, we commit acts with intentions, either good or bad that require forgiveness_"

Emily Thorne

* * *

"_If she was my daughter, what would I do_?" Mrs. Thornton asked herself. The point was Margaret was not her daughter, and her own daughter would not have disobeyed her like that. Truth be told, Margaret did not disobey her, she just did not respect her enough to keep her word, and that was so vexing.

"Why on earth would she go there?" Mrs. Thornton asked.

"She went. Was that not enough?" Thornton replied, still fuming

"Did she offer any explanations or was she acting all high and mighty as before?" she asked

"I must admit, Mother, I did not ask. I was too angry to listen to her excuses," he replied

"You have to tell her father about this, John, you know that," she said as she grabbed her shawl and bonnet and marched out in brisk determined steps towards Crampton, with her son alongside, two tall brooding figures in black with matching scowls.

* * *

"_Now, he brings his mother_…"Dixon grumbled to herself, and she stepped aside to let the Thorntons in. "Good afternoon ma'am, sir" she curtseys.

"Thank you Dixon" said Mrs. Thornton and handed her coat and bonnet to the maid.

"Miss Hale is resting, ma'am. I think she may be sleeping," she said "I will let her…."

"…Where is her room?..." Mrs. Thornton asked already halfway up the stairs

"Second door on the right," Thornton said and pointed, coming up behind her

Mrs. Thornton stopped, blinked rapidly and turned sideways on the landing, hand on hip and gave her son a curious frown. "…how…..?..."

He averted his eyes and cleared his throat. "…Mrs. Hale's old room" he tried to explain, and motioned for her to go up, then went himself into the Drawing Room to wait for her to bring Margaret down. Both he and his mother had been inside that very room to visit when Mrs. Hale was dying, and Margaret had now moved into it; and he only just discovered it when he caught her sneaking up the other day.

Mrs. Thornton continued up the second flight of stairs to Margaret's room. The last time she was in the house, it was to reprimand Margaret about an indiscretion that put her reputation at risk. This time around, she did not come with the same righteous indignation as before, but rather a disappointment that Margaret would risk life and limb for strangers without a care for those who loved her, and a throbbing pain in her heart, a realization that perhaps Margaret did not reciprocate the regard and attachment that she had begun to form with her.

* * *

The paper basket in Margaret's room was already full of notepaper, all screwed up, all attempts at apologies, excuses and explanations to Mrs. Thornton, but nothing she had written sounded right. All her good intentions had backfired in a grand way. If her father ever got to know, he would forbid her from even stepping out of the house, she was sure of it. All the independence she enjoyed in Milton would now be over. She would be treated like a naughty child, and judging by what Mr. Thornton had said, she had been reckless, thoughtless and selfish.

She had drifted off to sleep when she heard Mrs. Thornton's voice call her and then tap her shoulder her and then she opened her eyes. When she saw the concern and disappointment in her eyes, she began to cry again. Hannah took one look at her and saw a frightened girl whose stubbornness, confidence and haughty demeanour actually belied naivety and vulnerability.

"I'm so sorry, ma'am, so sorry. I can explain" she sobbed and winced due to the pain in her ribs and Mrs. Thornton helped her to sit up on the bed. She then sat on the bed next to her.

Thornton paced a few laps around the Drawing Room and when he saw the ladies did not come down, he decided to follow his mother upstairs. He was a bit calmer but still simmering.

He stood in the doorway, with Dixon scowling beside him, now muttering something below her breath either about the highhandedness of these northerners, or perhaps it was the bad manners of these Thorntons.

"John, this is highly improper," Mrs. Thornton said noticing him at the door, "you being here in Margaret's room. Can you go downstairs and we will come down?"

He must have been deaf for he just walked into the room, dragged a stool from the dresser in the corner and pulled it next to the bed for his mother to sit on and asked if there was anything he could do to help. She knew it would be futile to reason with him in his current state of mind, so she nodded to the windows. He opened them and came back to stand by the side of the bed, leant against the wall and gazed intently at Margaret.

Dixon sighed and then left Miss Margaret with her northern tradesmen friends, shaking her head in disgruntlement, and went down to the scullery and now muttering something about life in Sir John Beresford's household where gentlefolk, servants and tradespeople knew their place and adhered to it.

Mrs. Thornton was now able to look at Margaret properly with the sunlight streaming in. The cool breeze in the Milton climate freshened up the pungent smell of liniment that had pervaded the room and Margaret shivered due to the cold. The bruise was quite bad, very bad indeed, she admitted, but just not as bad as John had described it. The way he saw it, one would have thought she had just had a bout with a horseshoe.

"I am at a loss, Miss Hale, to find the right words to say to you," Mrs. Thornton stood up, walked to the window, stood there and then turned round to look back at Margaret. "I cannot find any sensible reason why you would go to Princeton. I have no need to tell you of the dangers there anymore. You have discovered that for yourself"

"Mary Higgins was with me," Margaret whispered

"Was Mary Higgins attacked then?"

"No" she replied

"My concern is for you, and not Mary Higgins. It pains me that you would not keep your word to me even though I was only looking after your interests"

"I'm so sorry, I did not mean …." Margaret said. She could not help but notice that she was no longer Margaret but Miss Hale to Mrs. Thornton again

"Why?" she continued, "…..you could have been killed or worse, and your reputation destroyed had those ruffians had their way with you, and taken your virtue. Do you not have any sense for propriety at all?"

It was not only what she said but the way in which she said it that pained Margaret the most. It was like she had betrayed her trust. Plus Mrs. Thornton was right about one thing that she had not even considered, for had she being violated, she would have been ruined, a fallen woman and no one of polite or any form of society for that matter would associate with her or her family again. Death would have been a better option indeed.

"I am so sorry, Mrs. Thornton, I can explain"

"Well, I would like to hear it," Mrs. Thornton said and returned to her seat.

Margaret explained that she had ordered the gift before making that promise, and that she reasoned that the agreement was not to go to Princeton alone.

"What gift?" Mrs. Thornton asked

Margaret then gave her parcel on her nightstand. Mrs. Thornton recognized the packaging, having seen it in Thornton's study earlier in the day. She looked up at her son, wondering how it came to be in his possession. "I thought it was for Fanny," he offered, which further perplexed her.

"I wanted to give it to you on your birthday, and it was to say thank you for taking care of me. I'm so sorry for all the trouble I caused you and I am so sorry I disappointed you," Margaret said

Mrs. Thornton opened the parcel. It was made of polished walnut with gold trims and brass clamps, and "Hannah Thornton" was engraved on the side in gold calligraphy.

"It is very beautiful," both Thorntons said in unison.

"I saw you struggling to thread a needle, and Nicholas suggested that a clamp could be welded to hold the magnifying glass in place, and attached to the arm of your seat" she said and demonstrated how it would be used. "Those thugs robbed me as Mary and I were leaving the joiners that day and hit me in the face. Please do not be alarmed for I won't go back there again. You have my word," she sniffed, wiping tears with the back of her hand.

"Oh dear girl, thank you, it is truly beautiful and I will treasure it, but you did not need to get me anything at all. I enjoyed your company and that for me was most important."

Now, that had to be a new milestone for Mrs. Thornton, giving compliments to anyone, anyone that is, except John.

"How would I bear it if anything happened to you? How would I face your father? Please, don't take risks like that anymore," Mrs. Thornton said.

Margaret looked up and nodded gratefully.

"Have your rest, and I will come back tomorrow, and when you get well you can join us for lunch at Marlborough Street. Is that agreeable with you?" she asked

"Yes, ma'am," Margaret nodded again.

Hannah then leaned across and embraced her.

"So why did you not let me in on the secret?" Thornton asked. "Was I so disagreeable that you would not want to come to me for help?"

"Oh no, sir, you've been very kind. I did not want people to talk if…if…..we….." Margaret tried to explain

"…..if we were seen together," he completed bitterly. "The connection must gall you"

"That was not what I meant at all," Margaret protested and then looked to Mrs. Thornton for support. "Please tell him …. I….I just can't seem to do anything right where he is concerned." Then turning back to him, she cried, "please, don't tell my father"

"Don't distress yourself" he replied, "I was worried about you like a good friend or even an older brother would"

"…an older brother?..." she asked

"Yes of course, and I have to look out for you. I let my tempers get the better of me. Perhaps I should not have shouted at you. I would still have made my displeasure known though. Anyway, forgive me"

"What do have to apologise for? It was I who behaved badly" she replied.

He waved his hand and dismissed her protests.

"Also, I won't tell your father. You will, and you will do so today. And from now on, you will come back and sit in all my sessions with your father, for I want to see how that bruise is healing." he added.

"Yes, sir" Margaret agreed

"_Did he just use this situation at hand to devise another excuse to see Margaret?_" Mrs. Thornton asked herself and looked up and saw him straighten his collar and roll his eyes away from her inquisitive stare. "_Surely not_"

* * *

Thornton then looked around, took in the fact that he was in her bedchamber, her inner sanctuary, and it felt dangerously exciting to be this close to her, even if they were in company. The sight of her stockinged feet and ankles thrilled him. It was highly improper, scandalous even, but then, rules of propriety were upheld by people who had never needed to break them. One day, she would be in his…their…. bedchamber as man and wife, alone….and …. for now, his eyes darkened as they scanned the room scavenging for memories to add to the expanding reel of images he replayed during his increasingly lust-laden reveries.

As he looked around the room, he saw her nightgown and dressing gown neatly folded on the edge of the bed, her hairbrush, her Bible, her jars of jasmine and lavender, her… his eyes settled on an object that seemed familiar on the chest of drawers. He straightened up, slowly, walked towards the furniture and took a closer look. It was a pair of gentlemen's gloves, and yes, they were familiar, very familiar indeed, for they were his gloves. He picked them up and looked at the lining for his initials that would have been embroidered by his mother, and sure enough, they were there.

"Miss Hale" he asked turning around, "where did you get my gloves?"

Margaret blanched, then reddened and then gulped. "Oh no, oh God, it is not what you think, it's not what you think at all?" she said, eyes darting to and fro him and his mother.

Both pairs of eyes were trained on Margaret.

"Well…..?" he asked splaying his hand for an explanation.

"You….you… left them ….the day you ….when….I…. I have…had been meaning to give them back to you, but did not get the chance" Margaret stammered, wringing her hands and finding herself suddenly becoming light headed.

Mrs. Thornton gradually realised it was the pair he had lost and the day was that of the ill-fated proposal.

His face hardened and he held on to the gloves and glowered at her.

"You did not get the chance….for five months…..and we've seen each other at least three times a week for the last ten weeks at the very least, and you did not get the chance" he scoffed at the incredulity of her excuse.

"I did not know how to give them back" she looked down at her hands in her lap. "I am so sorry"

He smelt them. They had a hint of lavender on the soft leather, and lavender was a distinct smell of Margaret that he loved. His eyes stung with unshed tears and he knew he had to leave the room at once to get outside, for his lungs craved air. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb for a moment and leaned against the chest of drawers for support. He then straightened up, took a deep breath, and slapped the gloves back onto the chest of drawers.

"Be there tomorrow," he called out as he quickly went out of the room.

Thornton went down the stairs, out of the door and down the street to the corner in under a minute, his head swirling and spinning. He had taken the same route five months back when he last saw those gloves and the memory, the painful memories of that day came rushing back with a vengeance, a vengeance because the feelings, the love he had tried to suppress or control, or so he thought had just increased in strength five…..six…seven times more and now he loved and wanted her more than ever.

* * *

"Must we always be in disagreement? " Margaret called despairingly at the vacant doorway and then looked back at Mrs. Thornton who had been observing her all the while and said to her, "he hates me, he really does."

"Margaret, are you in love with John?" Mrs. Thornton asked, for she knew no girl would ever treasure a keepsake of a man they were indifferent to.

"He won't forgive me…... He hates me…..can't you see?" she replied

"He does not hate you. Can't you see that?" she laughed, and then remembered her son words, _"well, I er… told Margaret that I did not love her anymore"_ and winced.

"Oh yes he does," Margaret countered, "and he has a poor opinion of me. I just want him to see me as a good person, as a friend. I can't seem to do anything right. Why do we always have to be in disagreement? Why can't we be friends?"

"Hmmm…" she sighed. "Anyway, I will leave you to rest, and I will be here tomorrow" and she got up and helped her back into bed, left the room and Margaret drifted back to sleep.

…../…/

9


	10. Chapter 10 - The Parent and The Child

Chapter Ten

…../

The Parent and The Child

"_Did he just use this situation at hand to devise another excuse to see Margaret?_" Mrs. Thornton asked herself and looked up and saw him straighten his collar and roll his eyes away from her inquisitive stare. "_Surely not_"

* * *

Margaret braced herself to tell her father that night for she did not dare disobey Mr. Thornton. She knew he was right that her father had to know, but she dreaded the disappointment and distress she would knew she would most certainly see in his face. She had even contemplated asking Mrs. Thornton to be present for moral support, but it was too late now as she could hear the front door opening at that same moment and Mr. Hale coming in. He would most certainly discover her in the study waiting for him, and besides, it was her own mess and she would have to own up and take responsibility for it. Her apprehension lay in not knowing how her father would react, and that she found so disconcerting.

She got up and stood facing the fireplace; "welcome home Papa," she said, with her back turned to the door.

"Oh Margaret, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"Sorry, Papa. I didn't mean to startle you. I wanted to see you, to speak with you," she said

"We haven't seen each other in the last five days and I think it is because you miss your mother so much, but I need you too. Perhaps that is selfish of me, but you are all I have left. Are you feeling better now dear?" he said.

"I'm well, …not really, …but I have been keeping a terrible secret from you, she said. It has been such a burden and I want to tell you all about it"

"Confession is good for the soul," he replied and took a seat on the couch and patted the seat next to him. "Come, sit with me and tell me all. We Hales have been through so much trouble already, and there's nothing you could possibly wish to say that could surprise me, believe me, I can bear it."

"I don't know how best to tell you, so I'll just come out and say it. I was robbed in Princeton last Thursday," she said as she turned around and lowered her mantilla veil. "I was attacked and I'd been trying to hide from you. I'm so sorry Papa"

"Oh my God, child," he rose up to go her and felt a rush of blood to his temples and gripped the backrest of the armchair nearby to steady himself. "Margaret, your face, the bruises, Heavens above, what happened to you?"

She rushed to his side and led him back to the couch and sat next to him. She gripped his wrist with one hand and rubbed up and down his upper arm with the other. "Are you well Papa….Papa….Father?" she asked.

"Who did this to you?" he asked in a strained whisper

"I went on an errand to Princeton. Mary Higgins was with me, and some thugs robbed me of my money and bracelet and hit me in the face," she replied

"Has Doctor Donaldson been called?" he asked

"No, I did not call for the doctor. The swelling and bruise has improved," she said, "…..I feel much better now. Honestly, I do"

"How can you tell me you feel better with what I see before me?" he asked still peering at her as he held her by the shoulders and turned her around and checked her. "Do you mean it was much worse than this?... You know John had expressed strong misgivings about your going there, and I did try to dissuade you. Now to think of it, perhaps I should have been more firm with you. I should have taken better care of you," he said. "I can't believe this. I am so sorry I'd neglected you, child. Come here," he said and pulled her into his chest and held her there.

For the first time since Maria died, both father and daughter wept together, holding on to one another

"Margaret, I will have to tell John about this" he said after some time.

"He knows, Papa. He knows. Mrs. Thornton as well," she said. "They found out this morning from Higgins, and they've both been here to see me. Mrs. Thornton has promised to take care of me. She will return tomorrow. She offered to help with household matters as well. She is good to us, Papa"

"And John?" asked he

"Mr. Thornton was quite cross with me. Furious and disappointed I might add," she said.

"Why in God's name did you put yourself in harm's way in the first place? Why did Higgins not go with you? You would have been safe with him. If he was too busy, I am certain John would have made the time to escort you there. He is a trusted friend, and he cares for you," he said

"Papa, Mr. Thornton is a very good friend but he no longer cares for me in that way. He has a poor opinion of me from our disagreements in the past and this situation has not helped matters," she said.

"For the life of me, I will never understand why you don't like him," he said. "By the way, what are you taking for your discomfort?" he asked

"Mr. Thornton got a special ointment from the apothecary and Mrs. Thornton cleaned the bruises and scratches with some salve she had at home," she replied.

"The Thorntons are very kind. We are blessed to have them as friends," he said

"Indeed, we are" she replied, and snuggled back into her father's embrace, and they both reminisced about Maria, Frederick and Helstone until bedtime.

….

* * *

Thornton got home an hour late that night from work because had to make up for the lost time going to and fro Crampton. He was exhausted, apprehensive and exhilarated for all that had transpired. Although Margaret had agreed to come back to sit in his tutorial sessions, at his insistence, he was not confident that she would attend as agreed. For all he knew, she probably complied because she was trying to make amends and not because she really wanted to be there.

To his surprise, his mother was not in the Dining Room and he had to dine alone. The maid had said she had gone up to her bedchamber and had asked for a tray to be sent up. That could only mean one thing - she was angry with him. He had an idea of what she was cross about, but then he reckoned that it was always easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, and that is what he would do as soon as he finished his beef stew.

"Good evening Mother, I apologise for my impertinence at the Hales'," he said as soon as he entered her bedchamber.

"Which one?" she asked

He frowned for he was not aware that he had made any other than the obvious one. He said, "I was impatient that both you and Margaret had delayed in coming down, and I found myself going crazy with worry that perhaps she had taken a turn for the worse. I came up because I felt that your being there would quash any talk of impropriety. Certainly, I was not thinking clearly. I apologise, please forgive me."

"Clearly, you were not thinking. You had no reason to enter a lady's bedchamber uninvited. What if she was in a state of undress? She would surely have been mortified to have you see her thus. What if she had her garments and underthings all over the place? What if the room was untidy? I told you to wait for us downstairs but I could hardly start arguing with you in front of her when you came in, all fuming and moody. That would have distracted from the main reason we were there," she replied.

"I didn't even think about that," he said. "Forgive me"

"You seem to think you are the only person who cares for her wellbeing," she continued. "Just like after the riots when you challenged me to letting her go home after the doctor had examined her, and after she insisted on leaving. You act as if I did not care, as if I had no compassion."

"I'm sorry, forgive me," he said again

But there is more that vexes me," she said

He gave her a puzzled look. "There's more? …If you would pardon me, can you tell me what else I may have done wrong," he said.

"Was it not obvious?" she said. "Let me see if I can make you understand. Did you tell Margaret that you still loved her?" she asked

"No, she would not have believed me, and certainly not after I snapped at her like a capital nitwit just this afternoon" he responded.

"Aha…so you noticed that," she snapped her fingers and pointed at him. "Your temper John, you have to watch that temper of yours. It frightens her."

"I could never hurt her," he said, "you know that"

"Yes, I know that. Fanny and I are used to your moods and temper, but Margaret isn't" she replied. "She told me she was shocked when she saw you beat up Stephens at the mill. First impressions are hard to shake off, and you have not helped your situation by snapping at her like, what was it you said – _a capital nitwit_. I doubt if she had ever encountered raised voices within her family even in disagreements. She is different from any other woman you've ever known and she will vex you sometimes because she has a strong will. She is neither a servant here, nor one of the mill workers, so do not subject her to that 'Thornton Temper'; I heard that is what the mill workers call it – _The Thornton Temper_."

"The Thornton Temper? The Thornton Temper. Who...?" he queried.

"Before you get all het up, they call me The Thornton Dragon_._ Looks like between the two of us, we make a right pair, don't you think?" she cajoled him.

"I had dealt with terrible cases from Princeton at the Court and the thought of Margaret being a victim, the thought of losing her scared me so much that I was at my wits end. I could not bear it, but I am not a violent man"

"No, you are not a violent man, but you were so furious, it was a sight to behold. It was like treading on eggshells around you. I was angry myself, but one look at her in pain and in tears just changed…..what I am saying is that her condition should have brought out your compassion and not your harshness. She still deserved a reprimand for sure, but how would she have known that the reason you yelled at her was because of how deeply you cared?" she asked

"Oh, I see. Oh dear, what have I done? What can I do now?" he asked

"That is simple, apologise; and for goodness sake forgive her, John, please forgive her. Forgive her for whatever you think she may have done to hurt you," she stated. "She listens to correction and I feel this unfortunate incident at Princeton has dented her confidence a bit as well, but if you don't keep that anger in check, you will lose her, trust me."

"I have forgiven her for rejecting me and for the incident at Outwood Station if that is what you mean, but if truth be told, she did nothing wrong. She can't help whom she loves, but she is young and is bound to make mistakes and she now has you to guide her. She trusts you. She loves you very much as well. I can see it. It was quite thoughtful of her to get you that gift," John said

"She is a dark horse, that one," she agreed. "I would never have guessed it."

"You seem to really enjoy each other's company. Anyway, how is the portrait coming along?" he asked

"Very well, I believe. She won't let me see it till it's finished, and she made me promise not to take a peek," she replied.

"Do you think I could ask her to do one of me as well?" Thornton asked.

"When will you get the time to sit for her?" she asked

"I will find the time. Where there is a will, Mother,….." he replied

"She cannot do a portrait of you, at least not yet," replied Mrs. Thornton "because you don't have an understanding with her at present."

"So many protocols, too many in fact," he shook his head. "You can't blame me from trying to spend more time with her"

"But you see her three times every week as it is, twice at lunch here and then on Sunday morning at church. You now want her to return to your sessions. Aren't you also meant to also play chess with her?" she asked

"Yes, but she is not well enough to come here for lunch, nor am I certain that she will return to my sessions, and we haven't yet started the chess lessons. So, you see, I have to cast my bread upon many waters," he replied

"God help us," she laughed and shook her head

…../

* * *

Margaret sat by the Drawing Room window overlooking the street to watch out for Thornton as he came down the street to Crampton the next day. She wanted to speak to him and return his gloves before he went in to his session. As soon as she saw him step out of a carriage carrying two baskets she raced down the stairs to open the front door and let him in.

"Miss Hale….." he started and gently lowered the two baskets in his hands to the floor, and took off his hat, gloves and outer coat to hand to her.

"Mr. Thornton…." she said at the same time

"You first" she said

"Miss Hale, my mother sent me to bring your groceries over, and I will take them to the kitchen for you. Here is the list you gave her this morning. You may want to check that the shopkeeper did not leave anything out." He then bent down and picked up the grocery hamper.

"Thank you very much sir," she said

"Now, where do you want your linen?" he asked and pointed to the other basket on the floor. Mrs. Thornton had come that morning as promised and taken Margaret's shopping list and because Dixon was overwhelmed with the ironing that Margaret could not do, she had taken the dirty linen to Marlborough Mills and now sent them back freshly laundered and ironed.

"Please leave it to one side, and I will send Dixon up to come for it," she said as she led the way downstairs to the kitchen.

"If you would pardon me, I know I insisted that you join in my sessions, but you don't have to if you don't wish it," he said and placed the grocery basket on the kitchen floor, and then sat on the bench at the kitchen table next to Margaret waiting for the kettle to boil.

"Mr. Thornton, I was looking forward to it," she said. "I am bored stiff at home. Would you believe I'd not even ventured outdoors for one whole week because I could not take the risk of anyone seeing the bruise, and the weather had been too warm to be veiled in black crape. As much as I cherish my independence, I was so relieved that Mrs. Thornton handled my shopping list to save me going out. I have even baked lemon curd biscuits for today's session myself"

"Lemon curd biscuits? They are my favourite," he said

"Yes, I know. We do have lunch together, don't we? I got the recipe from your mother this morning, and I would like you to give her this batch for her verdict on my very first attempt," she said and held up a bag of biscuits. "You can tell me what you think upstairs, be honest…..no, be kind."

"So you will come into my sessions. I'm glad to hear it," he said, and got up to lift the boiling kettle off the stove and pour the water into the teapot.

"Another thing I wanted to ask," he said, "was that ointment any help?"

"It stung a little, but I think the bruise looks better for it," she said.

"Let me see," he raised his hand to her face and stopped his hand mid-flight, and let his fingers hover next to her cheeks, a mere inch away. His breath hitched, and for one moment, one small fleeting moment, their eyes locked, his blue to her green, and he saw her lips open slightly, beckoning, definitely begging to be kissed. If he kissed her, and she let him do so, he would become the happiest man ever. He then looked into her eyes again, seeking confirmation, seeking permission, seeking trouble, and then she blinked, she blinked and the moment was gone.

"Let me see," he said again, and this time, he lowered his hand and he trained his eyes on a spot behind her ear, to the sugar bowl on the far side table, taking care not to look at her cheeks, her chin, her eyes or anywhere on her face. "I think the ointment has been effective. If you need some more, I would order it tomorrow, and bring it over. It may take two to three days though"

"Yes please," she said, "I would like some more. Thank you"

"May I call on you tomorrow anyway?" he asked. "Perhaps we could start our chess lessons or I could just sit with you, that is, whatever it is convenient for you."

"If you were not too busy, I would have accepted your offer sir," she replied. "Your mother said the Irish workers you brought in have cost Marlborough Mills so much custom because of their defective work, and you have had to work late to keep up with your orders."

"It's no trouble, I promise you. I will come here if I can spare the time, but I would like to know I'm welcome here when I do so," he said.

"Of course you know you are welcome here. You came here yesterday in a right state, and even into my bedchamber," she said"

"I behaved badly yesterday, didn't I?" he said. "Please forgive me, I beg you."

"I know now not to cross you," she said.

"I will try to control my temper. I would not wish for you to be scared of me at all," he said

"I'm no longer scared of you, sir. "Your mother told me your bark was worse than your bite. And Bessie Higgins had told me about the Thornton Temper"

"Some reputation, barking and biting. Please keep that to yourself. We can't let the mill workers know what my mother said. I need to keep them on their toes," he said smirking, "and that includes Higgins and Mary."

"I think I'm confused about you. I always seem to antagonise you," she said. "See, I have your gloves here, but I could not understand why you were so upset that I had them with me."

"I have no sensible excuse for that," he said. "I was just stewing, I suppose. Let me take one glove, and you keep the other hand. If I ever lose my temper again, I will return the one with me, and it will be my incentive to behave better. Are we agreed?"

"That goes for me too. I'll give you the other glove if I act poorly, but I'm hardly the right person to pass judgment on anyone," she replied. "People think highly of you in this town. Even Papa and I were just saying how fortunate we were to have you as a friend."

Thornton wondered at what she just said. "_Could Margaret be expressing a regard for him?_" he thought to himself. "Miss Hale, I….I still….never mind," he stopped himself in time before reopening the scabs of his wounded heart that those gloves reminded him of. "_Don't be a fool, don't risk this truce until you are certain she will have you," _he said to himself.

"Shall we go upstairs?" he said and lifted the tea tray and made for the stairs to his session with Mr. Hale and with Margaret coming behind.

…./…

10


	11. Chapter 11- A bit of fluff and Mr Bell

Chapter Eleven

* * *

**A/N - Please review. I want to know what you guys think of the storyline. **

**Thanks**

**FIS**

* * *

A bit of fluff and Mr. Bell

"_May I call on you tomorrow anyway?" Thornton had asked. "Perhaps we could start our chess lessons or I could just sit with you, that is, whatever it is convenient for you."_ And that is just what he did, the very next day, and the next, and the next

* * *

"Anyone would think you had taken up quarters in Crampton. Why? You are hardly at home," Mrs. Thornton said. "I wonder what her father thinks of you being there all the time. Surely, he must suspect by now"

"Mr. Hale is a good friend. He knows I will never do anything to harm his family. I go there on two evenings for my lessons and on Saturdays to play chess or read with her, all with his consent," Thornton replied.

"Not to forget Sundays, where you stare at her in church all day long. You know you are not supposed to do that, don't you? And then you walk them home," she added. "_So much for maintaining discretion_," his mother thought.

"I see her here for lunch two days of the week, and I still have one day free where we don't meet at all. I'm not at Crampton then. You are not jealous, are you, Mother? I thought you liked her," he said

"I do like her. I'm sure she will make you happy. Do you have an understanding now?" she asked.

"Not yet, but I am hopeful," he replied. We have become friends, and she is beginning to trust me."

"So why the delay? Surely, you don't doubt her regard now," Hannah said. She knew her son. Patience was not his suit. Perseverance, determination and stubbornness, yes. But cowardice? well…...he seemed to be displaying a tendency for it where Margaret was concerned. People have entered into matrimony with even less familiarity than he and Margaret shared, Fanny and Watson, notwithstanding, so it did not make sense that he could wait.

"Mother, you said the same thing after the riots, and see how that turned out," Thornton said. "I need to see it in her eyes that she would have me. She sees me as a friend, as a brother. I know I asked for that but it won't do. I need more. That is why I call on her to see if she is well; to see if I could be of service, but I would not want to presume to know her mind, that she would regard me of greater significance to her happiness than I have at present "

"Can I surmise from the long face that you did not get to see her today then?" she asked.

"Is it that obvious?" he asked. Hannah could tell whenever he saw Margaret for it would be written all over his face, for he looked so much more handsome if that were even possible, but then, as his mother, she is biased.

"Every girl needs time alone every now and then. I am certain she is well and in good spirits. I will see her tomorrow when we go shopping for new net curtains for the bedrooms at Crampton and I will send word, post-haste," she teased and snapped her fingers

"Shopping? I could…..," he started.

"No, John," his mother interrupted, "we do not need you to accompany us"

"I could help carry your purchases," he suggested

"We can take a carriage," she replied

"I know all the best fabric dealers in town. Remember I was a draper's boy," he said.

"Yes, ten years back. And I know the same dealers as you," she replied

"I could negotiate some great bargains for you," said he

"A mill master purchasing fabric for the home. I think not," she said. "You will not be joining us on this shopping trip, son. I don't want you subjecting her to any speculation without an understanding with her. Do it now. I don't want you hovering like a hawk, marking your patch. Soon everyone in town will know that you have designs on her and no man would even dare…I suppose, that is probably what you want….to keep every man at bay. "

"I can't take that risk just yet. Let me continue in hope. Come to think of it, I need to purchase some new handkerchiefs at the haberdashers, so I will come along, Mother, and that is final," he said

"I suppose you'll have it your way then. Now that you say so, there is something you can do for us," she said.

"I'm not going on any fool's errand if that is what you're thinking," he said.

"Would I ever? I just remembered we may need to purchase some wool as well. We need about two dozen yards. A bit heavy, I dare say. It costs six shillings and six. It will be of great help for you to carry them for us. Perhaps you could stop by Hartmann Drapers to collect them and then join us at the haberdashers for the curtains. They have the best quality wool in town," she said.

"Two dozen. What would you need so much wool for?" he asked

"For collywobbles," she replied.

"Collywobbles? Collywobbles Mother? You think I don't know what you really mean. I know what you're doing," he said. It had always been a successful strategy of hers, to use that ever-increasing list of euphemisms for ladies' monthlies and unmentionable accessories to deter him from a course of inquiry or action, to get him to toe the line. He was minded to call her bluff and go anyway but thought the better of it. One of these days, he thought, he may yet surprise her, but for now he would not want to make Margaret discomfited by being around him when purchasing items for such intimate use. "I will leave you be, to shop on your own, as you wish," he acquiesced.

"It was very kind of you to offer. Thank you John," she smiled.

"I would still like to be of some use to Margaret," he said, "to get her something beautiful, be it gloves, a fan, a hat pin, something that young ladies would like."

"In that case, I will order O'Neill's Catalogue for the next Season. You will find plenty to choose from in it," she said

* * *

…

"Good evening sir, are you on your way out?" Thornton asked Mr. Hale when they met at the door as he came in for his lesson.

"I'm off to drop this letter in the post box down the street," he replied.

"If you let me have the letter sir, I could run down to the post office to catch the late collection," Thornton offered knowing he could not extend his stay because he had promised his mother to be home for dinner.

"Thank you, John, but that will not be necessary. The post office is at least a good ten-minutes away, and I could always get a boy to do that if I deem it so. The post box will do fine. Margaret is upstairs. You may go in and I will join the pair of you presently," Mr. Hale said.

That Mr. Hale was not worried about leaving him with his daughter unchaperoned, that he was regarded as a trusted friend was not lost on Thornton. 'Friend', that is what he was; 'lover, husband', that is what he wanted to be. John wondered if Mr. Hale would be so relaxed if he knew the liberties he and Margaret had already shared, that she had even once put her arms around his neck.

* * *

Thornton went upstairs as he was bid. He found her in the Drawing Room, poring over the book they were reading together, Alexander Pushkin's Eugene Onegin. "Are you well, Miss Hale? I saw your father downstairs, on the way to the post box. He will join us shortly, he said," John said to explain their being alone.

"I'm well, thank you sir. Yes, Papa was to go Oxford for a reunion with his fellow alumni from Balliol College and some dons from Oriel, but now, he wouldn't leave me because of that unfortunate business at Princeton. He now keeps watch over me like a child. He has decided to invite Mr. Bell over. The letter should get to him by the end of the week," she said.

"I see you are reading on. I must admit, I've not found the time to pick up that book since our last reading. What are your thoughts on Onegin so far?" he asked.

"Frustrating. He is doomed for a life of misery and loneliness because of his prejudices and selfishness. He could not see Tatyana for who she was and foolishly rejected her, and then challenged his only true friend, Lensky to a duel before leaving town. How people let society's constraints for keeping order divert common sensibilities, I wonder," she said. Margaret could see some parallels in her own life where she did not recognize Thornton for the fine man that he was and likewise rejected him.

"So he killed his friend then?" Thornton said.

"Perhaps I should not read too far ahead. I would not want to spoil it for you. I think I will stop now, and we can continue when you feel able to do so," she said and put the ribbon in the page to mark her place and closed the book.

"How did your shopping trip with my mother turn out?" he changed the topic.

"We got the curtains. They will be delivered in two days time," she replied.

"Did you purchase any other fabrics, silk, linen, or wool perhaps?" he asked, giving in to his curiousity

"Oh no, just cotton. We got Nottingham lace, made from the finest cotton in the market woven from our Milton mills," she said, "but then, I may be partial, I think."

Thornton looked at her quizzically, "_….she did not say this in jest" _he thought. "Am I to take it that your ordeal has not tainted Milton irrevocably in your esteem then?"

"Milton is my home now," she replied.

"I'm glad to hear it. We are not wholly bad," he said

"I love it here. I love the town, and I love the people," she said, "hardworking, strong and proud"

"I have something that I'd been meaning to give you," he said and reached into his pocket and brought out a little silk drawstring purse. It held a bracelet made of freshwater pearls and olive-green peridot gemstones in twenty-four carat gold links. "It is to replace the one that was stolen, you know, the one you pull up your arm whenever you pour the tea," he said.

"You noticed that?" she asked

"I am a magistrate. I have to notice everything," he said softly and looked into her eyes, "Miss Hale, everything."

'Everything.' She shuddered at the sound of his deep velvety Darkshire accent to that word. She wondered how much he really noticed. Was she so transparent that he noticed that her regard for him was becoming more favourable. She could still feel his eyes staring at her, and with each passing second, raising the heat on her face.

"Thank you very much sir. If you excuse me, May I try it on?" she said and looked away from his gaze and undid the clasp of the bracelet

"….Let me," he said.

'_Let me,_' he had said, not '_may I?;_ not leaving the option for a refusal. '_Taking liberties'_, that is what his mother would have called it.

Thornton reached and took her hand and settled it upon his knee and then took the bracelet from her and put it around her wrist, hooked the clasp and then pulled it up and down her arm. "See…., it's just like the other one," he said.

They both seemed content to sit there in companionable silence. He, with one hand held her wrist firmly onto his knee, and then with his other hand he ran his fingers across the bracelet and the back of her hand with tenderness at odds with his big frame. And she,…she let him. It was not lost on either of them that fifteen months ago she would even not take his hand in greeting.

"It is very beautiful. Pearls are my favourite," she said and her eyes sparkled

"I know. Mr. Hale told me your name, Margaret, means '_pearl'_ in Greek," he said and he then moved closer and whispered, "…..and the peridot gems ….the dark olive green…they remind me of your eyes."

He knew in his mind that the right thing to do was to let go of her hand and move back, but his head and his body were not in agreement. The thrill he felt in that moment warred against the fear of the censure he would most certainly get if they were to be caught. He neither wanted to seduce her nor compromise her, but he wanted her to feel some of his longing, to feel what it could be like if she just let him love her. He was never one to take risks like this, no…..for risk was incalculable, unpredictable and dangerous, as he was sure he was on fire from her hands that seemed to burn a hole all the way up from his knees to his navel …giving him some difficulties in focusing….in breathing but not altogether unbearable….

"Mr. Thornton…Mr. Thornton," she called

"Beg your pardon. You were saying…."he came out of his reverie.

"You are smiling," she said

His glistening blue eyes pierced through her and he exhaled deeply and then leaned closer such that his sideburn brushed her cheekbones, his breath, hot on her shoulder, and brought his lips level to her ear "Margaret, take care, if you don't speak, I shall claim..….." he murmured against her soft cheeks.

"…Oh Mr. Thornton….it tickles," she sprang up and pulled her arm out of his grasp and shuddered at the odd sensation that stirred through her belly and raced red-faced out of the room and past a surprised Mr. Hale who was just coming in through the door. This man does unnerve her. First it was the way her heart jumped whenever she saw him or heard his voice, but now, that touch, the nearness, it did something to her, something she could not explain, but something she liked, something that made her smile and that discomfited her.

As for Thornton's face…stunned with mortification as he greeted his tutor, ready for his session. "_Slow and steady, take it slow and steady,_" he chided himself

If Mr. Hale had noticed anything, he did not say it.

…

* * *

Mr. Bell came to Milton two weeks later

"Thornton is teaching Margaret to play chess," Hale explained to Bell as they came in to the Drawing Room and found them seated at one end together.

The older gentlemen took their seat at the other end of the room to reminisce about their Oxford days and tried to draw the pair into their discussion but with limited success, as both were so focused, Margaret on the chessboard, and Thornton on Margaret.

Nevertheless, it was the nature of their relationship that intrigued Bell. It was obvious to him that they had an attachment of some sort, so he wondered why they were not formally courting. He reasoned that perhaps Mrs. Thornton had objected to the union because of Margaret's financial situation. Other ladies in Milton with substantial dowries were more likely meet the older woman's approval. For all he knew, perhaps Thornton felt the same way too. His sister had married a wealthy mill owner, so Thornton knew of the merits of being advantageously attached, but Margaret did not have much of a dowry to tempt him. Judging by what he saw, Margaret seemed to like Thornton but seemed a bit guarded, and that was not altogether a surprise as ladies were not encouraged to be too forward with their regard.

Bell observed them playing for some time and then wandered over to their side.

"Margaret dear, what did Thornton teach you about how to win this game?" Mr. Bell asked after studying the board for about a minute

"The aim is to capture your opponent's king, I think," she replied to Mr. Bell and looked at Thornton for confirmation.

"Hmmm….I see you are in no hurry to get home," Bell chuckled and whispered knowingly to Thornton, referring to the two different options for checkmate that Thornton had clearly ignored, in order to prolong the game.

She is new to this, and needs encouragement," Thornton whispered back and groaned inwardly and prayed that this meddlesome man had not come to ruin his plans.

He did not get his wish for Mr. Bell turned straight to Margaret and whispered something to her and she nodded and then made a move on the board counteracting his move.

"Check," Margaret said happily.

"Check," she repeated to call his attention. "Mr. Thornton,…..you are staring at me," she whispered

"I beg your pardon," he replied and reddened ferociously. He distinctly heard Mr. Bell's faint chuckle as he returned to Mr. Hale's side and then both men nudged and winked to one another, sporting broad grins and clearly enjoying the scene unfolding before them.

Bell was now certain that Thornton also cared for Margaret, but would not act on his feelings, that is, without encouragement or perhaps an incentive. He therefore decided to pay a visit to this stern fellow that had some affection for his goddaughter.

* * *

.

John Thornton was not a coward, but he just hadn't found the courage to ask for a shift in relationship to what he really desired. He wanted a courtship, he wanted a betrothal, he wanted marriage, he wanted family but he did not want to risk losing Margaret's friendship, so he left things as they were.

He was certain she won't consent to have him because she didn't love him…. yet,

and

She was sure he would not renew his proposal because she had hurt him too much. Too many secrets, too many unanswered questions regarding her loves, her choices and her character. Unlike her, he was an open book, nothing to hide, steadfast, upright, serious and of impeccable conduct.

They did not have an understanding, or they did kind of, for they both understood that good solid friendship was the best they could handle.

Someone once said that _friendship may, and often does grow into love, but love never subsides into friendship_

* * *

_.._

"Good morning Thornton?" Mr. Bell said as he came into his office after only one knock and not bothering to wait for a reply.

Thornton, annoyed at the interruption from his landlord, but mindful to be polite, stood up abruptly to offer him a seat.

"So, how may I help you this morning, sir?" Thornton asked in an even tone.

"I've been meaning to thank you for caring for my dear friend and goddaughter" Bell started.

"The Hales are good friends of mine as well," he replied.

"Yes of course," Bell nodded. He did not imagine that Thornton had any other friends anyway. No one came calling at Marlborough Mills and they called on no one in return. He knew that Thornton occasionally went to the exclusive gentlemen's club patronised by the mill masters and top bankers in town, for it made sense to socialise for business, but he was not a frequent customer, nor one of a mirthful disposition to keep regular company with those other men.

"I had always said that my life and experience should be of use to some other miserable soul so that they don't waste their chances, so I have come to impart to you insight into what you neither wish to see nor do something about" Bell said.

"I'm listening," Thornton responded.

Bell said, "I have been in love too you know, a very long time ago. So I know how to spot it in another person, although unlike you, I would say mine was unrequited."

Ignoring his implication and annoyed at his presumption, but more curious that this confirmed bachelor ever had feelings for anyone, Thornton asked, "…so what happened?"

"She fell in love with my best friend instead," Bell replied. "I stood with him at their wedding. They were blessed with two very beautiful children and were very happy together for twenty-seven years but I never stopped loving her. She passed away recently and is now lost to me forever"

"…_.._two children…." Thornton reasoned to himself, " well….that rules out Mrs. Hale as this mystery woman that Mr. Bell loved.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, sir" Thornton said to the older gentleman.

"Yes, thank you." Bell replied. "The sad thing was that I could not even grieve as I wanted, for she wasn't mine. It would not have been proper. Grief by proxy, it was for me, and it hurts,…..agony "

"It must have been some woman back in Oxford, for that is probably why the wily old codger kept coming to Milton, to get away from that lady and her family" Thornton concluded in his mind.

Bell continued, "what I am trying to tell you from experience is that sometimes love flashes like lightning by you and you have to be brave and lay claim on it. Do not procrastinate. You may live the rest of your life wondering what might have been. Regret hurts. It is torture. We men do not talk of such things, but we feel it just as much."

Adam Bell was the first to meet Maria and Beatrice Beresford, nieces of Sir John and Lady Beresford at the Opera and was immediately drawn to the elegant but strong-willed beauty called Maria. Whilst he dithered on whether Maria would accept him, as his father, although rich, was in trade, his best friend, Richard Hale and Maria fell in love. Hale's suit was preferable to her family because he was a gentleman, even though they would have desired that he also had wealth. Bell was heartbroken but stood with his friend as best man at his wedding. He moved away to Argentina for a few years and made a fortune in the Merchant Navy and returned to Milton and invested in landed property and then settled into academia. However, he could not stay away from Maria so he found himself always coming back to wherever they lived. He became godfather to Frederick and Margaret, and it was his tales of foreign lands that inspired Fred to join the Royal Navy. He was the one they always turned to in any crisis in their lives, from Frederick's exile, and Hale's dissent, to the family's retrenchment to Milton. He hurried to Milton when he heard Maria was dying and was there to support Hale at her funeral. Hale and Margaret were the only family he had left now. When he thought nothing could get worse, his physician then told him he was terminally ill with kidney complications due to gout.

"You are as good a gentleman as her folks in London, as any southern gentleman for that matter, Thornton. Believe that. Do not let her get away," he warned in solidarity from one tradesman to another.

"She will not have me" Thornton blurted out, surprised himself that he could confide in the sly old fox and wondered how he knew about his feelings for Margaret.

"…..would she not? Now, that is a surprise." Bell said

Thornton was torn between wanting to inquire more about Mr. Bell's last statement and his discomfort in having the wily old man articulate his pain so accurately that his temper got the better of him and he stopped Mr. Bell unceremoniously.

"Thank you sir, but I do not wish to talk about my personal life. If there is nothing else you would like to say sir, may I wish you a good day," and with that, Thornton rose up abruptly in the hope of prompting Mr. Bell to rise and leave him.

Not wishing to be put off by the younger man's gruff manner, Bell said, "I guess we will see you at Hale's on Thursday then. This is not something I would want to discuss where Margaret could be within earshot. Good day Thornton" and he stuck out his hand, and shook Thornton's hand.

Bell recalled Thornton's remark…"_she will not have me_.." and decided he would now have to speak with Margaret.

12


	12. Chapter 12 - At Home with the Thorntons

**Chapter Twelve- At home with the Thorntons**

"_Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"_

Socrates

* * *

Fanny Watson, fashionable, accomplished and rich, the envy of Milton.

Fanny Watson, whimsical, flamboyant, lonely and adept at keeping up appearances.

Fanny Watson, gaunt, pale, nineteen years of age; married for six months, looking at least six years older, one year for every month

* * *

"O thank God, you've come to. That was some fright you gave me, child," Mrs. Thornton said as Fanny's eyes fluttered followed by a loud sneeze due to the suffocating smelling salts her mother held under her nose.

"What happened? Where am I?" Fanny sat up and she took in her surroundings, familiar but odd. She visibly paled as she recognised her old bedchamber in Marlborough Mills, with two maids fanning her.

"You fainted, Fanny," Mrs. Thornton said. "I had to get Jane and Ruth to carry you up here."

"My clothes?" she asked

Mrs. Thornton nodded at a heap on the floor, "we had to cut you out of your dress, petticoat and corset," she said

"Oh…."Fanny said, "….did anyone see me?"

"Girls, thank you. Mrs. Watson is fine now," Mrs. Thornton dismissed the pair. "Please tell Mrs. Powell to prepare for one more place for lunch." "Yes ma'am," the two maids curtseyed and exited the room and shut the door behind them.

"So did anyone see me?" she repeated

"I get the impression this has happened before….that you were not surprised," Mrs. Thornton said to Fanny as soon as she was certain they could not be overheard.

"It's nothing serious. I have my smelling salts with me all the time," Fanny replied. "I'm hungry, that's all?"

"Here, have this," Hannah gave her two biscuits and a cup of tea, and watched her nibble on a small tea biscuit for a good three minutes. "It's quite unlike you to be this quiet."

"I'm afraid I am not good company today. I'm a bit tired, that's all. My insides hurt, my body itches and I haven't slept well in days. I can't even hold my food down."

"Is it what I think?" Hannah asked smiling. "Are you….."

"No, Mamma. I had hoped I was, and for almost two months, I thought it had happened for I had the sickness and all the discomfort, but then three weeks ago, it came…." she said. "Watson was so cross with me and said I should focus on fulfilling my duty and not on my furnishings and decorations. It was as if he did not appreciate anything I'd done to make him a prominent master in town."

"It takes time with some women. It would help if you ate better. You need strength to carry a child"

"I find I can't each much," Fanny said.

"Not with those tight corsets, you can't. In any case, you will not be able to wear them if a child was to grow in there, you know that?" Mrs. Thornton said

"I could never go without my stays. That is impossible. Never. Most unsightly, I daresay," Fanny replied

"We had to borrow pliers from the mill to cut you out of that corset. What was it made of?" Hannah asked.

"Steel, Mamma," Fanny replied. "They can make my waist go down to sixteen inches."

"Sixteen inches? No wonder you couldn't eat properly. No wonder you've needed to carry smelling salts with you all over the place," Mrs. Thornton said. "And then the tight lacing. You probably had to employ two maids to tie you up in those. It cannot be good for you, I'm sure."

"But I've just ordered four new corsets from the dressmaker at Farleys. What will I do with them?" Fanny asked.

"Surely, she can adjust them to give you more space around the middle," Mrs. Thornton said.

"But my new dresses won't fit around them," said Fanny.

"You don't need any more dresses. You had so many gowns made for your trousseau. Have you worn them all?" Mrs. Thornton said.

"Anne Latimer said a lady in my position as the wife of a mill master ought to have gowns for different occasions " Fanny said

"Don't tell me you still pay attention to some other nonsense from her finishing school in Switzerland. How many different occasions can one possibly have?" Mrs. Thornton asked

"She gave me a list to follow," she replied and she reached for her reticule and pulled out a tiny scroll, "yes, here is the list….yes, I have to get a morning dress, a day dress, an evening dress, a walking dress, a town dress, a visiting dress, a receiving visitors dress, a traveling dress, a concert dress, an opera dress and a ball gown. If Watson would oblige, I could get a seaside dress and a races dress too."

"God help us," Mrs. Thornton shook her head in despair. "I am betwixt laughing and crying. Surely you don't need all those dresses, not here in Milton at least, but if you insist, by all means get them made in the right size."

"And in the right colours for the Season," Fanny said

"Colours? What colours now?" Hannah asked

"Green. Different shades of green for this Season," Fanny replied. "All the fine ladies in London and the Home Counties know that, and I'm even getting some of my yellow dresses dyed to green."

"Green dye. I recall John mentioning something about some dye causing illness for several of the workers and he even stopped buying them from Feldon Chemicals," Mrs. Thornton said.

"How could dye make anyone ill? People use dye all the time," Fanny said

"Yes, but John thinks the green dyes in particular seemed to attract and poison rats," her mother replied. They found several dead rats on a new batch of green fabric in the warehouse and there were none next to the other colours. I wonder; if it could poison rats, it may be the reason that you feel poorly. It may be the cause of the boils I found on your body. Perhaps you should choose any other colour but green."

It was all well for Mrs. Thornton, she only wore black, as she had done for the past eighteen years. As a young wife, she did put on some colour, never as vivid as Fanny's though, but when she became a widow at the age of thirty-four, it was convention to mourn for up to two years, and afterwards, she found it was convenient to remain in black, for she could ward off unwanted male advances. Young and middle-aged widows made society nervous, for they were women with sexual experience without marital constraints, and there was always some ageing and wealthy gentleman, married mind you, willing to offer protection and financial support in exchange for favours. The censure Hannah afforded herself paid off. It gave her respectability, like an honorary male, a person of knowledge, wisdom and logic.

"But Watson had also felt sick in the last few weeks. Why is that? Surely my corsets and petticoats should not have affected him. He had headaches and kept forgetting names and sometimes he dropped things," said Fanny

"Where did you get the cushions and wallpaper you decorated your house from? It may well be affecting Watson if it has the same dye, you know. You should both see Doctor Donaldson. He knows about these things," Mrs. Thornton said.

"Watson prefers to use another physician. Doctor Thorpe is young and trained in London," Fanny said. "Doctor Donaldson may not know about all the new treatments.

"Dr. Donaldson is a good physician. He may be getting on in years but he has seen a lot in his time. Many years ago when your father had the shakes, the doctor told him to stop wearing those felt top hats because the hatter used quicksilver on the fur and it may be bad for him, and afterwards, we found that his health improved. If you ask me, I would advise that you see him, the pair of you," said Mrs. Thornton.

"You really think that would help?" she asked.

"I suggest you try and see," her mother replied. "I will leave you to rest a while and then you can join us downstairs for lunch."

* * *

"There you are. Fanny, I just heard that you had taken ill. Has the doctor been called? How do you feel now? Mother…?" Thornton ran into the Drawing Room and found them. "I had gone upstairs, everywhere looking to find you."

"She fainted. She is well now, John, just a bit tired," Mrs. Thornton said. "She had not eaten anything all morning."

"Hmm….I see…."he smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. "Are congra…."

His mother frowned and shook her head at him. "…forgive my presumption then," he said. "Now where is Miss Hale?" he asked as he then scanned the room and realised she was not there. He could not hide his disappointment.

"She is running late. She had to run an errand for Mr. Hale." Mrs. Thornton replied. "She's bringing the biscuits too."

"Of course," he said. He kissed his mother and sister and sat in his armchair to read his paper and waited for the lunch bell to ring.

"John, I didn't know you came home for lunch" Fanny said "you were always too busy at the mill"

"Yes, I do now" he replied.

"Mamma, did you say Miss Hale would be joining us for lunch?" Fanny asked. "I've not seen her since my wedding"

"Her mother passed away twelve weeks ago" Mrs. Thornton said. "You were away on your wedding tour at the time."

"I suppose she needs cheering up. I will invite her to my house to see my new furnishings," Fanny said. "I think if she was more cheerful, it might help her find a husband."

"Leave her be," said Thornton. "She doesn't need you meddling in her business."

"Miss Hale does not share your interest in fashion and music either. Why don't you pay her a visit instead?" Mrs. Thornton said and wondered how it was possible that John and Fanny could turn out to be so different, one practical and sensible and the other shallow and whimsical. It definitely had to be some practical joke of nature, for Fanny should have been Maria Hale's daughter, and caring and considerate Margaret, hers.

"I don't want to go to Crampton. I don't think she likes me. She acts all grown up, like she knows everything," Fanny pouted. "Remember at the annual dinner when…"

"She is just one year older than you, and she is clever, mature and sensible" Thornton said.

"And on the contrary, she does like you" Mrs. Thornton added, "why, Fanny? She often asks after you. Only the other day, she asked about the Masters dinner that you hosted."

"Mother, but I thought you did not like her?" Fanny said. "I thought you said she carried herself all high and mighty even though she was nothing but…..," Fanny said

"Yes I did say that, but we've settled our differences now and I do like her" Mrs. Thornton countered "and she comes here often"

"Miss Hale? …..…here? …..….often?" Fanny exclaimed, laughing . "Is she trying to get John again like she did on the day of the riot?"

"Fanny…don't," Thornton reprimanded

"Oh…." Margaret exclaimed as she came through the door. She had heard what Fanny said.

Everyone looked up, shocked, and coloured in varying shades of red. She dropped her basket, turned round and ran down the stairs and out of the house.

"John, go…" Mrs. Thornton said and they both got up immediately and went after her.

Thornton caught up with her as she got to the gates. She looked every bit frustrated and agitated and in tears. He instinctively drew her into himself and wrapped his arms around her, one arm across the small of her back and the other firmly across her shoulders, with his fingers running across the nape of her neck. He held her close for a few moments and whispered soothingly into her hair and then realised with alarm what he had done and pulled away and exclaimed "….forgive me…."

"Margaret…..Miss Hale" Thornton said offering his handkerchief "I'm so sorry you heard that. Fanny speaks without thinking" and then clenched his hands into fists and mustered all the willpower he could to restrain himself from embracing her again.

"Yes, but she said what everyone else is saying about me" Margaret sobbed.

"Please, do not pay any attention to that" Thornton said pleading "We both know you are not trying to get me…... or are you?" he added with a smirk. He immediately kicked himself "_don't be a fool, this is not the time to make stupid jokes_."

"I'm sorry," he added quickly

"I can't face her now, knowing what she thinks of me," Margaret said.

"Of course you can. You are not a coward. Please come back," Thornton said "…..please"

Margaret looked around. The streets were quiet, and the workers were in the mill.

"We have to go back inside. We can't stay here. We could be seen, and then it is you who will be under obligation to accept me this time …?" he said in a teasing tone. "…._and my fantasy will become reality_" he added silently, but bit his tongue when he saw that Margaret did not get his humour.

"Forgive me…for that. I keep putting my foot in it" he said. "Anyway, you must be hungry by now, let's go in to lunch"

"I'm not..…hungry I mean" she said.

Then her stomach growled.

"Falsehood, Miss Hale, falsehood" Thornton remarked

They both laughed.

"Let us go in. I'm starving, and I can't wait to try those biscuits," he said

Mrs. Thornton waited by the door, and Fanny watched from the Drawing room window. As for Thornton, he clamped his lower lip between his teeth as he tried in vain to stifle the biggest grin Milton ever saw as he led Margaret back to the house.

Mrs. Thornton pulled Margaret away from him as they reached the door, shook her head at her son in disbelief and said, "you just couldn't stop yourself, could you?" and then led her into the library. He looked up to see Fanny now at the top landing and his mischievous grin gave way to his customary scowl. "All right," Fanny said, I will apologise to her." His face softened and he then followed his mother and Margaret into the room.

"Mother, you can leave Miss Hale to me" he said with unmistakable delight dancing in his eyes, "I will see to her comfort. You may go upstairs."

"No, John, you've done quite enough. You go upstairs and we will be with you shortly," Mrs. Thornton said. "_Nice try,"_ she said to herself.

He groaned in himself. Mother was too fastidious as a chaperone. He remained by the door watching them instead. Fanny came downstairs and joined him by the door and then gasped at the sight before her, for never in a month of Sundays would she have expected to see Mother, who was not one to show affection comforting Miss Hale.

"Enchantment, I know" Thornton grinned to Fanny. "I thought the same too"

"Come now Margaret" Mrs. Thornton whispered into her ear "we both know the truth. You can't let those remarks annoy you, even if she misunderstands your motives. Think, even he doesn't know about ….."

They both look at each other, and nodded knowing that Mrs. Thornton was referring to the fact that Margaret has not let Thornton's misconception about Frederick's identity deter her from being around him.

Thornton observed this silent exchange and shrugged, "_baffling,"_ he thought. He then watched his mother brush back and pin the locks of Margaret hair that had come loose when he embraced her and said, "there, Margaret, perfect."

They all go upstairs to lunch.

* * *

.

Margaret, not one to hold grudges was first to extend the olive branch and asked Fanny about her wedding tour of the south coast of England, to Brighton, Worthing, and Eastbourne. "I've never been to the seaside," Margaret said; "so what did you there?"

Fanny noticed Thornton's head shoot up from his plate and listen in on their conversation, and saw the amusement in his eyes. She coloured and shifted uncomfortably at the memory of her wedding holiday. Margaret sensed that her question had generated some discomfiting interest swiftly clarified, "I mean, did you build sandcastles or go sea-bathing?"

"No, it was too windy and cold," Fanny replied. "We had to stay indoors most of the time," and this made her colour even more.

"Indoors. I would have been bored if it were me," Margaret said.

"_Not if you were with me my love," _Thornton thought to himself. Margaret then sensed Thornton's piercing blue eyes on her, looked at him curiously and quickly looked away, with a soft shade of red staining her cheeks.

"My cousin, Edith and Captain Lennox went to Corfu for their wedding tour. She said they both loved it," Margaret said.

"So where would you like to go to, Miss Hale" Thornton asked, "for your wedding holiday…..I mean? …. Sorry I said that. …Forgive me…." He looked away, and a soft shade of claret stained his cheeks and he prayed for the chandelier, the ceiling, anything to drop and distract everyone.

Margaret shifted uncomfortably and looked away, reddening even more.

Mrs. Thornton eyes darted back and forth between Thornton and Margaret, eyebrows raised up and lips turned up in a smirk.

"Anyway, we are back now, and I have been busy decorating and furnishing my house. My house is much bigger than this one, and I have bought wallpaper and fabrics from the Exhibition, and everyone said how nice my house looked at the master's dinner…." Fanny prattled on.

.

"Fanny" Mrs. Thornton whispered sharply through clenched teeth "…Mrs. Hale… remember?"

"Oh yes, Miss Hale, please accept my sympathy on the passing away of Mrs. Hale" Fanny reached out her hand to Margaret. "I'm sorry for your loss. You must miss her terribly"

"Yes I do. Thank you," Margaret said.

"I see Mamma has been comforting you" Fanny said.

"Mrs. Thornton has been so kind to me; and Mr. Thornton too. Both your mother and brother have been good to us in our troubles" Margaret replied.

Margaret then looked at Hannah and Thornton and mouthed "thank you" and they both nodded. Fanny noticed this and wondered for a moment about all the changes that had happened since she left, the easy manners and friendliness between the other three, and how relaxed her mother and brother had become, and particularly how much she felt like a stranger around her own family.

.

"John," Fanny asked after a while, "are you courting Miss Hale?" Thornton, Margaret and Mrs. Thornton all choked on their drinks.

"What…..?" Thornton asked. He cast a quick glance to Margaret, and saw she was staring down at her plate aghast and pale as a sheet. How could he admit to courting her without her consent? For that is what it was. Highly presumptuous, indeed, plus he could not predict how Margaret would react if he were to own up to doing it.

Fanny continued, "I only ask because Anne and I saw you come out of the jewellers on Stretford Street last week." I said to her, 'fancy seeing my brother in this neighbourhood.' I remember I had seen Miss Hale's bracelet on display there for a few weeks now. I think you must have bought it. It is very beautiful, don't you agree?"

"It is beautiful," he agreed. He could not trust himself to say another word.

"It is pearl and olive green peridot. I much prefer emeralds and jade as green gemstones. Wait till I tell Watson you had bought it for Miss Hale. Anne will be so jealous," Fanny said.

Margaret gasped.

"You will do nothing of the kind," Thornton declared.

Mrs. Thornton stepped in, "Fanny, don't go round telling stories about your brother and Miss Hale now." Hannah knew that both John and Margaret had to come to their mutual understanding and not be forced into it. She could tell Margaret was gradually coming to accept that her feelings for John were fine and return his affection. Nevertheless she could not risk Fanny's prattling to Milton Grapevine prematurely.

"I do not gossip, Mamma," she said. "I just thought….."

Mrs. Thornton said, "nothing leaves this room, Fanny, nothing. Not to your Watson, nor that Miss Latimer nor any other one of your friends. Whatever happens in this house will not be the new gossip in town. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Mamma," Fanny agreed

.

They continue their lunch in silence until…..

"John," Fanny said, changing the topic, "my Watson had this brilliant scheme that he said should bring him lots of returns and he said he had been trying to speak to you about it for at least two months now."

Thornton groaned and rolled his eyes. He did not want to talk about money with Margaret present, but his sister had this tendency to jump from one uncomfortable topic to another with dizzying speed.

"Is it like speculation?" Margaret asked, sipping her elderflower cordial.

"Yes" Fanny said.

"Mr. Thornton will never speculate. He will never take such risks, what, with the livelih…." Margaret started and faltered. The room fell silent but for the distant droning of the mill and all eyes were now on her, Fanny with astonishment, Hannah with amusement, and John with a combination of admiration and annoyance. It was now her turn to wish for the chandelier, the ceiling, anything to drop and distract everyone.

"Pray, continue, Miss Hale" Thornton said. "You clearly know my mind, to know what I will or will not do."

"I'm so sorry, sir" Margaret whispered, her head bowed and eyes clamped shut, hoping to open them and find out it was just a dream, a nightmare even but most certainly not reality. She opened one eye and saw Mrs. Thornton peering at her still amused, and promptly shut it back and raised her hand to shield her red hot face.

On that note, lunch ended, Thornton made his excuses and went back to the mill. He could not stop thinking about this woman that had captured his heart, tormented his body, invaded his dreams, both day and night, also now knew his mind, for indeed, he would not take a risk at speculation as she had rightly observed. "_Is there no respite from Margaret Hale?_" he asked himself. _"Vexation indeed."_

"You may open your eyes now, Margaret" Mrs. Thornton said, "John has gone"

"I am so sorry, ma'am," Margaret said. "Everyone is cross with me"

"Not everyone, my dear" Mrs. Thornton laughed, "Just John."

* * *

…

After lunch Fanny resumed talk about her decorating projects. Soon it was time for Margaret to leave. As she was leaving she remembered that she had brought a gift for Fanny, but had forgotten about it in the earlier drama, so reached into her reticule and brought out a little scroll.

"Mrs. Watson, I almost forgot. I had been meaning to give this to you." Margaret said "My cousin, Edith sent over sheet music for Rosina's _cavatina_ from Rossini's Barber of Seville. It was performed at Covent Garden in the spring. I hear it is beautiful. I hope you enjoy learning it. I would love to hear you play it sometime."

"Thank you Miss Hale, and please call me Fanny"

"You may call me Margaret too"

She then said her goodbyes and left.

Fanny's eyes welled up in tears as Margaret left.

"Mother, I thought she did not like me. Maybe I was wrong," she said

Mrs. Thornton said, "I would like you to be friends with her, Fanny. She is thoughtful, and she will make a much better companion for you than Anne Latimer."

"You seem to like her, a lot…, more than me….. I think," Fanny said

"Margaret, you mean? Of course not, you are my daughter" Mrs. Thornton replied. "Why would you say a thing like that?"

"It's the way you look at her…..like the way you look at John….like you are proud of her." Fanny clarified.

"I am proud of her, yes, and I love you Fanny and I'm very proud of you too. You are a good wife to Watson, and you have no need to be jealous of Margaret. I think if you get to know her, you will like her a lot too. See, she even gave me this beautiful magnifying glass for my birthday," Mrs. Thornton said

"I'm not jealous. It's just that way she poured the tea, you would have thought she owned the place," Fanny said

"I know you wished to distance yourself from Marlborough Mills as much as possible, but I want you to know you are welcome here anytime, and this is still your home, and I am still your mother. You could always join us for lunch when you get the chance, and get to pour the tea," Mrs. Thornton said.

* * *

.

That night, Thornton talked to his mother about the financial difficulties he was experiencing in the business.

"I was wondering about what Margaret said today. Was she right? That you would not speculate, I mean?" she queried.

"I'm afraid so" he said. "If the scheme doesn't work, the workers will be out of work and destitute, and I could not bear that."

"Well, she seems to know your mind," Mrs. Thornton said.

"You think so? I wish I knew her mind," he said.

"I don't think she even knows her own mind," she replied

…/

* * *

_**A/N** Green fabric dyes in Victorian times had arsenic in them and poisoned the wearers through their sweat. Arsenic was also used for rat poison. Quicksilver, also known as mercury nitrate was responsible for the hatter's disease, which had symptoms resembling mental illness immortalized by Lewis Carroll's Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland. Steel corsets were controversial in Victorian times for causing problems to ladies' internal anatomies and vertebrae_

15


	13. Chapter 13 - Good Timing, Bad Timing

Chapter Thirteen – Good Timing, Bad Timing

* * *

_There is a time for every purpose under heaven_

* * *

"What is the matter, John?" Mrs. Thornton asked. She watched him draw circles with his Sunday roast and potatoes in the gravy all round his plate.

"I had a meeting with Latimer on Friday, Mother," Thornton said. "It is dire news, I'm afraid. The bank will no longer extend our credit and we need to find funding very soon. I have made an appointment to meet a gentleman in Le Havre to see if they would be interested in investing with us."

"France? All that way?" Mrs. Thornton asked. "Are things really that bad?"

"Yes, they are. Difficult times loom for the mill," he replied. "I travel tomorrow morning and will be gone for five days. Would you wish to stay with Fanny and Watson whilst I'm away?"

"No, I will be fine. Actually Fanny came earlier to ask after us," she said.

"So what did she want?" he asked with discernible irritation in his voice

"You know your sister. She sang the praises of Watson to high-heavens, and talked of how his speculation had yielded handsomely for all investors, and prattled on about her plans to dress her footmen in livery similar to the ones the southern gentry use and so on," Hannah replied. Fanny had actually crowed '…._if John was not such a stick-in-the mud, his troubles would have been over…_' but Mrs. Thornton was not about to rub the Watson salt into the Thornton wound. "Do you have any regrets not joining in?" she asked

"No. I could not take that risk in good faith. The payroll is safe for another two months and we have savings to keep us for another five months, but if we cannot get hold of credit, Marlborough Mills will have to close and we will have to give up our lease and move into smaller accommodation," he said. "I'm sorry to disappoint you."

"John, you could never disappoint me, you know that. I'm not bothered for myself. It's you I'm worried about. What do you plan to do?" she asked.

"I could always seek a situation as a manager in one of the other mills in town," he said. "We will be fine, I promise you. It is Margaret that concerns me. I don't think she will have me now. I can't ask her to marry me when I don't have anything to give her," he told his mother

"You don't give her enough credit," Mrs. Thornton said, "for if she won't have you when you had fortune, then your lack of it will not make a difference. I see the way she looks at you and I feel you may well get a different response this time."

"I hope so, I really do" Thornton replied.

Mrs. Thornton said, "John, you sound unsure. If you are still concerned about any other lovers in her life, why don't you ask her about it and see what she tells you?"

"I have no doubt about her virtue," he said. He knew that if his mother felt Margaret was not good enough, she would have made it known. It was Margaret's heart that he was unsure about, and his own sense of unworthiness, that such an elegant and regal creature, flawed mind you, could care for him when she could have her pick of southern gentlemen.

"Godspeed and good luck then," she said

"Good luck? Whatever do you mean?" he asked

"You were going to ask her tonight, weren't you? About time, I say," she replied. "I've never known you to waste your Sunday roast without good reason."

He chuckled, shook his head and then left to get ready. "How do I look?" he asked and patted down his torso. He was attired in a crisp black suit, fresh shirt with starched white collar and black silk cravat.

"Very handsome, as always. You know that," she beamed at him

Someone once said when the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers. Thornton was about to find out that on the contrary when the gods wish to answer our prayers, they punish us…...severely.

_._

* * *

"Hale, I have decided to make Margaret my heir" Bell said. "I met with my banker last week to discuss it. I have no family of my own and you and her are all I have."

"You cannot do that, in all seriousness, I cannot let you…." Hale said

"No, no my mind is made up" Bell cut in. "I just have to get a lawyer to draw up the papers."

"I know you love us and have always been there for us through thick and thin but you have to think of the future," Hale said

"As you rightly said, I saw my doctor before coming to Milton, and he told me…well…let's just say I have set aside enough for the future, for what is left of it for me, and I still have enough left over to settle on Margaret," Bell replied

"Dear God. You don't mean…" Hale exclaimed. His jaws dropped and eyes widened as he saw his friend nod.

"There is no need to fret. I've come to terms with it. Not everyone can get to plan their departure from this world and what legacy they leave behind. Let me do this, Hale" Bell said waving his hand dismissively

"This is distressing news, Bell," Hale bowed his head into his hands. "Are you certain that nothing more could be done? Surely, there are new treatments and remedies you hear of in the papers….."

"Yes, some cure-all elixir from those charlatan apothecaries who prescribe balms of menthol and camphor, and potions of senna, liquorice and coriander seeds….you mean? I've tried the lot, and probably enriched some avaricious chemist in Surrey and increased my discomfort in equal measure," Bell said," and I am not exaggerating."

"Perhaps that new Doctor Thorpe could help," Hale offered

"It's too late for that now. Let us look on the bright side. Margaret gets this inheritance and she will have the option of independence or a handsome dowry if she so chooses, and will not be tempted to marry for convenience. I was thinking that perhaps you could both move to Oxford with me and she could keep house for us." Bell said. "What do you think?"

"Margaret has begun to settle down here, and besides, Maria is also buried here. I'm not so sure we would want to leave Milton now," Hale said.

"Perhaps I could move in here with you instead. How about that? Margaret may not stay with us for long anyway. She may well get married to some fortunate fellow very soon," Bell said and tapped his nose.

"You're thinking of Thornton and you mean to intervene or shall I say interfere, don't you? He is a good man, but she doesn't seem to like him," Hale said.

"Hmmm….we'll see," Bell said. "In any case, I need a lawyer to draw up the probate and transfer of my estate for her settlement. What do you think of Henry Lennox? She seems to trusts him."

"Of course, Lennox is a barrister. His chambers should be able to handle dowry matters. I believe he recently wrote to Margaret and the contents of the letter seemed to have lifted her spirits," Hale said

Frederick had given Henry Lennox the names of possible witnesses that could be interviewed to clear his name, and Lennox was trying to get hold of a sailor called Horrocks. Fred had lain low in London and found safe passage just four weeks ago via a circuitous route to avoid detection. He then asked that his movements be kept secret from Edith, Captain Lennox and Aunt Shaw until this sailor was found and interviewed as the Navy would leave no stone unturned in seeking justice.

_._

* * *

Thornton patted the little jewelry box in his breast pocket as he made his way to Crampton. He had made up his mind to ask Margaret for a formal courtship that evening before leaving for Le Havre in the morning, and the jewelry was to be a gift to celebrate their understanding. His mother was certain she would consent this time around. Truth be told, he was a lot more confident that she returned his regard as well. He also noticed when she stole glances at him and it made him feel very proud to be admired by her. Mutual regard, that is. She loved him back. He was not under any illusion that her love equaled his own, for a part of her heart was already spoken for, but he had enough love to make up for any shortfall.

With a courtship, he could visit her at Crampton at any time as allowed, and that would be everyday as far as he was concerned. He would not require the excuse of a tutoring session, playing chess or reading together to see her. He could walk down the streets of Milton with her and sit next to her in church. He could make his partiality known and bring her gifts as he liked. After tonight, Margaret Hale would be known as Thornton's woman, and he would be proud to let everyone know that this territory was now marked, "No looking, No fishing, No hunting, No poaching and definitely, No trespassing"

"May I have a private audience with you, Miss Hale?" he asked as he came in from the cold and handed his hat, gloves and coat to her to hang on the stand. She still had her apron on and seemed harried, but still managed to flash a wide smile at him.

"Now?... If you excuse me, I will just take up the tea to Papa and Mr. Bell and I will be with you shortly," and she raced downstairs to the kitchen

"Need help?... Well, it can wait a while," he called after her, "I will go up and see them and perhaps we can talk afterwards," and made his way upstairs.

He instinctively knew he was going to have an unpleasant evening the moment he came into the Drawing Room and overhead Mr. Hale and Mr. Bell talking about the letter that Margaret had received from Henry Lennox, and that the contents seemed to have lifted her spirits; and the word - dowry. Whoever said eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves was right. Thornton had come in at the most inopportune time, overheard all the worst possible parts of the conversation, and drew the least favourable conclusion. His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach and he swiftly schooled his scowl into an impassive stare and took his seat on the couch and waited for Margaret to join them.

Margaret came in with the tea and served her father and godfather. He watched the bracelet ritual whenever she poured in tea, and mused about when this will be for him alone. She then handed Thornton his cup of tea and smiled at him again….and he almost longed to ask her to do for him what he saw her compelled to do for her father, who took her little finger and thumb in his masculine hand, and made them serve as sugar tongs. "_No, he will wait. After tonight then….."_

"_Damn Lennox_." Thornton's attention drifted round from Henry Lennox to Margaret and back. He knew he had to maintain his composure at all costs but the notion that her family saw a possible rival in a positive light irritated him exceedingly.

"Thornton, I would like to invite both yourself and your mother to join us for dinner at the Grand. Will Wednesday evening be fine?" Mr. Bell asked, thinking about his new role as Cupid.

"Unfortunately, I will be travelling to Le Havre tomorrow on business. I should be back by Friday, and we can have dinner with you then," Thornton replied.

"Splendid, Friday, it is then," said Mr. Bell. "I am also trying to convince Hale here to leave Milton and come to Oxford. What do you say that Milton has to offer over Oxford? I am a native of Milton, mind you, so I can speak for both, but I would like to have your opinion."

"We in Milton are hardworking and we derive our glory from our inward strength and endeavours," Thornton said.

"Margaret seems to take your side on this; but what do you amass your wealth for? You don't have time for leisure, to enjoy what pleasures life has to offer," Bell said

"Do not use me for your arguments, sir" Margaret said. "I only said there was a difference between the representative of a city and the representative of its inhabitants."

"I should like to be a representative of Oxford, its beauty, learning and proud history," Bell said

"On the contrary, Miltonians look on life as a time for action and exertion and not enjoyment," Thornton said. He never did care much for the idle rich of the south anyway.

"What about culture? Let us compare Oxford without the colleges and Milton without the factories, what do you get?" Bell asked.

"I have you know we are cultured here sir," Thornton said. "We were able to deal with the strike in a way that got the industry back on its feet. Masters and workers now realise they need one another."

"A respectable strike? I never heard of such a notion," Bell laughed.

This snobbery riled Thornton exceedingly, and he felt his temper rising and he began to drum his fingers in increasing tempo on the arm of his seat.

There!

That was the moment Thornton knew he should have gone home.

He did not.

Margaret could sense Thornton's discomfort and ill-humour at the teasing and felt sorry for him, so she decided to change the topic to something mundane and arguably safer. "Papa," she said, "Edith said the price of printed calicoes in Corfu were so much better than anyone could find in London."

"Edith is prone to exaggeration," Hale said. "Edith Lennox is Margaret's cousin, Thornton. They are my wife's family in London. Margaret lived with them for ten years before we came to Milton."

"The Lennoxes. I met them at the Exhibition sir," Thornton said, and it was perhaps hearing the nouns Lennox and London that reignited his ire.

"No but Papa, Edith was not exaggerating, I sure of it," Margaret continued.

"Well, if Margaret said so, I have to believe her to be telling the truth about her cousin," Bell said.

"Is Miss Hale so remarkable for the truth?" Thornton asked. He regretted the words as soon as they fell out of his mouth. Margaret could not believe he would attack her so openly and so viciously that she cowered in shame and embarrassment under the curious and astonished glares of her father and godfather.

As far as Margaret was concerned, the answer to Mr. Thornton's question was: -_No_, Miss Hale was not remarkable for the truth; _No_, Miss Hale was a liar, and Mr. Thornton knew that because he had caught her in a lie, and that was inexcusable and unforgiveable. She bowed her head over her teacup and when one tear dropped on the saucer, she firmly squeezed her eyes shut to hold the rest back.

As far as Thornton was concerned, he had hurt the person he loved more than life itself. He knew he had just overstayed his welcome and vowed never to forgive himself for his outburst, even if she ever did.

In all honesty, it was his insecurities that tormented him the most for even though Margaret had welcomed his attentions, he still felt vulnerable because the thought of losing her to anyone else terrified him. He knew he was unworthy of this divine creature. She had broken his heart in the privacy of her father's study and only his mother knew of his pain. Humiliating her in front of her family was not likely to win him their approval and consent and would only alienate him further from her affections. To make matters worse, she seemed to have borne his misbehaviour with a sad and resigned acceptance, as if she deserved to be so badly treated, and this pained him deeply. Indeed, his conduct was ungentlemanly, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"I am so sorry," he whispered to her. "Please forgive me, please, I beg you"

She turned away from him and grabbed her embroidery and lowered her face close to it began to jab the needle through the fabric.

His earlier discomfort now paled in comparison. "_Heaven knows what her father and godfather must think,_" he thought to himself. When he saw that she would not speak to him, he excused himself and left.

"Odd fellow, that Thornton. I never met someone so spoiled by success, unable to bear jest of any kind and bristled at any affronts on his dignity. Formerly, he was as simple and noble as the open day; you could not offend him, because he had no vanity_," _Mr. Bell said.

"Something must have annoyed him before he got here to make him behave so," Margaret said.

"_A lover's tiff,_" Bell concluded.

"Margaret dear, why was Thornton sharp with you?" Bell asked as soon as Hale left the room to go his study.

9


	14. Chapter 14 - You did what?

Chapter Fourteen – You did what?

"Margaret dear, why was Thornton sharp with you?" Bell asked as soon as Hale left the room. He then moved to a chair across from her. "You don't have to divulge your secrets to me. I know lovers tend to have several of them."

Margaret frowned, pursed her lips and lowered her head. "Mr. Thornton is not my lover…"she muttered almost inaudibly

"Yes, I'm sure. Anyway, I had been meaning to speak with you for a few days, so much so that I had to ask Hale if you had been avoiding me. I know you also spend a lot of time at Thornton's." Bell continued

"Oh no sir, I would never avoid you. I do spend time with Mrs. Thornton. Mama had asked her to look after me when she was gone, you see, and she has become my chaperone," she replied, "…and I think she wants to make a proper northern lady out of me" she looked around, leaned forward and whispered.

"Now, you are smiling. Something you said brings Pygmalion and Galatea to mind," Mr. Bell laughed, "you know from Ovid's Metamorphoses"

"Yes, that King Pygmalion sculpts Galatea so perfect and falls in love with her. Are you saying that I am not loveable without transformation then?" Margaret asked with an impish smirk "and Mrs. Thornton has to sculpt me to perfection?"

"Good Lord no, you are perfect my dear" Mr. Bell "_Just that King Pygmalion's mother may be sculpting a perfect wife for her son_," he added silently.

"You flatter me sir" Margaret said.

"Not at all" Bell said. "Anyway, so what do you do over there?"

"We talk, actually, I feel I do all the talking and she does all the listening. I read and keep her company and sometimes we do embroidery. She makes the most beautiful embroidery I've ever seen. It's so intricate like Mama's, and she wants to teach me, but I just know I could never have the patience to do it well talk less of master it" Margaret said.

"It looks like you are getting on well with her. I'd known her to be cold and standoffish so I am surprised and somewhat impressed that someone with your passion and kindness could bear to be in her company that much" Bell said.

"Mrs. Thornton is really very kind and generous. She is just reserved, I think, but when she smiles, you should see her face light up. Anyway, I'm doing a likeness of her, and I am due to unveil it on Tuesday," she replied

"Do you have an understanding with Thornton then?" Bell asked. "I think he loves you," Bell said.

"Love?...Oh no, I don't have any understanding with Mr. Thornton and he doesn't love me at all. He is friendly and courteous at times but I think he actually despises me," stated Margaret.

"He despises you…" Bell noted that this was quite some contrast from Thornton saying at their meeting "…._she won't have me"_

"Yes, he does. He comes home to lunch, but I feel he sometimes cannot stand the sight of me because I somehow make him disagreeable," Margaret emphasized.

"Let me get this… he despises you, but he comes to lunch when you are there and yet cannot stand the sight of you," Bell grinned.

"I can hardly stop him for coming to lunch in his own house, but he has a poor opinion of me, and then he told me so" Margaret said emphatically.

"He told you that...and yet he lets you come to his house and spend time with his mother, and then joins you for lunch. Doesn't he also come here to teach you chess?" Bell chuckled with an even bigger grin.

Margaret nodded. "I am a guest of Mrs. Thornton's, so I think Mr. Thornton tolerates me because of her. He offered to teach me chess and it would have been rude to turn him down and he comes here because he is a friend of Papa's. He had been kind to us but I insulted him in the past and he will never forgive me"

"Do you care for Thornton?" Bell asked

"He is a good friend to Papa and he cared for Mama when she was dying," she replied

"You did not answer my question"

"He is much sought after by all the ladies of Milton and he will surely choose one of them to wife. The Slickson sisters all but said so when they came to Marlborough Mills some weeks back. He has offered his friendship but he often gets cross with me, so it is an odd situation you see," Margaret explained

"Margaret, all this doesn't sound like Thornton. Is there something more to this that you feel you can tell me?" Bell inquired.

"When Mama was dying, Fred came secretly to see her," Margaret said

"You mean…..your father did not tell me Frederick was in the country. I must say that was daring …." Bell gasped

"We kept his visit a secret even from Mr. Thornton, and we did not let him into the house when he came to visit Mama, and he felt slighted by it"

"I can imagine," he said nodding thoughtfully.

"Well, I had to see Fred off to the station late at night so that he would not be discovered. Mr. Thornton saw us at the station and thought he was …..was….." Margaret faltered

"…..your lover. I understand" Bell finished.

"There is more. There was an incident at the station, and the matter involved the police and I lied to protect Fred. Mr. Thornton knew I had lied and was so disappointed in me and he told me he no longer loved me," Margaret said with a shrug

"Now, I am confused. When did he first love you?" Bell asked.

"He proposed marriage to me after the riots, but I refused him because I thought he did it out of obligation, but I did not know he cared for me. He was disappointed and I was rude to him. It was badly done" Margaret said.

"The riots, a proposal, obligation, Frederick, police…..…nothing you have said makes any sense to me child. Can you start at the beginning and tell me all? Mr. Bell asked

Beginning at the trip for a waterbed to the visit from the Mrs. Thornton, Margaret narrated the story to Mr. Bell whose eyes widened as she went on.

"And is Frederick safely back in Cadiz?" Bell asked in a whisper

"Yes, he is. I sent him to London to meet Henry Lennox, to see if there was anything that could be done to clear his name," Margaret replied.

"Yes, yes, Lennox, your cousin's brother-in-law. Hale told me he wrote to you recently. Was it about him?" Bell said

She nodded. "There is hope"

"So, does Hale know about all this?" Bell asked.

"Does Hale know about what? What are you two talking about?" Mr. Hale came in at that moment smiling. "You have to tell me, and don't leave anything out."

And they did…..tell him everything, that is;

And they did not…leave anything out, that is.

"You mean to tell me my family had been the source of gossip in this town all this while?" Hale stared open-mouthed and managed to say after a long silence. "What must the Thorntons think of me as a parent….of us as a family?" His mind was a jumble. This was Helstone all over again, Fred's mutiny and exile, his crisis of conscience, isolation and dissent. The pain and misery and confusion all rolled into one.

"I'm sorry, Papa," she said to her father and looked to Bell for support, who grunted his agreement.

"I don't know whether I am most angry, disappointed, or dismayed, Margaret. How did you keep all this to yourself all this time?" Hale asked.

"Mrs. Thornton knows everything," Margaret said, "and she promised to keep our secret."

"If you could have told Mrs. Thornton, surely you could have disclosed this to me as well?" Hale said, wondering how his daughter could trust someone outside the family with such a delicate matter.

"Hale, ladies are known to share secrets with one another and keep their menfolk out, so do not let that surprise you," Bell said. "Remember that your wife and Dixon kept you in the dark about the severity of her illness; and Margaret and this same Dixon conspired to hide her injuries at Princeton from you. They talk, but just not to us. It is no surprise at all"

"Papa, but you were distressed after Mama's death, and I did not want to add to your troubles," Margaret said

"What made you think you were better able to handle the matter? What made you think that I could not have handled it," he said

"I think Margaret was trying to help," Bell said to placate his friend, for indeed Hale had fallen apart at Maria's passing that had it not being for the Princeton incident that reminded him that he still had parental responsibility, he would have gone to Oxford with Bell to recuperate. The poor girl had been the strong one for the family and she must have felt it her duty to handle all delicate matters, but Bell was not about to point out his friend's glaring shortcomings.

"Yet another secret from her, Bell. I thought the robbery in Princeton was the only trouble she had gotten herself into," Hale said to Bell who gave Margaret a sad smile. In almost four decades of their acquaintance, Bell had never seen his friend so animated about anything, not even when he dissented.

Hale then turned back to his daughter, "this is a very serious matter, Margaret. You cannot compromise yourself like that and then refuse to marry him, and then make matters worse by keeping silent about the inquiry involving Frederick. The moment it involved the police, concealment should have been out of the question, particularly with Thornton, as he knew you had to lie. You don't do that to friends. What were you thinking?" he said.

"I thought he would forget eventually," she said

"He obviously did not, as you heard yourself this evening. No, no one forgets about those things. Reputation is not something to trifle with," he replied. "The Thorntons are prominent people here and we have embroiled them in our mess."

"But Papa, Mr. Thornton is a magistrate and the police inspector reported Leonards' death to him. What if he informed the authorities about Fred? I didn't know what else I could have done," she said.

"Then you should have come to me. It was never your decision to make. What would you have done if it were another magistrate and not Thornton? I sent you on that errand and Frederick is my son," Hale said,

"I did try to tell Mr. Thornton that I had to keep the secret, but he called me reckless and said he did not love me anymore," she said

"Thornton needed to know the truth whether or not he loved you. You lied… he covered up for you without knowing why, and yet you kept him in the dark. That was cruel, Margaret. He must have been aggravated with all kinds of thoughts, and he probably did not tell me himself because he wanted to spare me the ignominy of knowing that my own daughter had been implicated in what he thought was an indiscretion," Hale said, quite put out that everyone around him had sought to conceal things from him, to protect him. Surely, he could not have been that weak.

Bell added, "Margaret, on the contrary, the poor chap still cares for you. You have made him so miserable withholding your love, and I think you love him too. Having said that, it's still beyond me how the price of calicoes in London could possibly offend him." Both Margaret and Hale smiled at Bell's deliberate attempt at levity to ease the tension.

"I will tell Mr. Thornton everything when next we meet," she said. "He is travelling to Le Havre tomorrow, remember"

"No my dear girl, you will not be the one to tell him. You have done quite enough. I will tell him myself. He is my friend, and it is my responsibility to do so," Hale said to Margaret, and then turned to Bell and said, "I'm afraid we have to cancel our trip to the Athenaeum tomorrow. Margaret and I will leave for Marlborough Mills first thing in the morning and settle this once for all, before he leaves for Le Havre."

"I'm so sorry, Papa," she said in tears.

"Come here, come here, and dry your tears. I am disappointed and rightly so, but you meant well. You had been the strongest of us all, and I should have taken better care of you," he beckoned and drew her into his embrace and patted her back. "I have to thank Mrs. Thornton for taking you under her wing. You need her guidance it would seem. It will all be fine. As you say, he is your first olive, things like that are bound to happen," he added, and kissed her on the brow, and excused her to go up to her room.

…..

Hannah Thornton could hardly sit still in the Dining Room as she waited for her son to come home. She was certain that he would return with the news of an imminent wedding and this time round, she looked forward to it, for Margaret made John very happy. This was no longer the haughty southern lass that came to Milton a year and a half back. No, this was a sensible, kind-hearted and loyal friend who cared passionately for the people she loved, and who loved her son, and Hannah was certain, herself included.

Hannah wondered why he was taking so long coming home, seeing that he had to travel the next day. She hoped that they had not let their passion get to their heads, typical of newly engaged couples. "_This was not yet the time for such liberties_," she said to herself.

…../…

Thornton had gone for a long walk after he left Crampton to clear his head. _Yes, this was punishment for answered prayers from the gods indeed. _ When he got home, he checked the Dining Room and Drawing Room and his mother seemed to have gone to bed. He then went on to his bedchamber.

Mrs. Thornton heard him enter his room and shut the door, almost knocking out the hinges and waking half the neighbourhood. It was close to midnight. She got up and left her room to go to see him. She found him seated on a sofa by the fireplace with his head bowed and she crossed the room and took the seat next to him. She could not believe she had misread Margaret's regard for her son again.

He reached into his breast pocket and brought out the small box and gave it to his mother to see. It was a beautiful freshwater pearl and peridot necklace with matching drop earrings. It completed the set with the bracelet.

The note said

– to Margaret, my pearl and my greatest treasure. You make my life beautiful and I give you this token to celebrate our understanding. I'm yours forever, John

"So she still won't have you, John?" she said, running the necklace through her fingers. She winced as she recalled his pain the first time round when he had said, "_no one loves me, no one cares for me, but you mother."_

"No, I could not ask her" he replied, using the poker to stoke the embers in the fire with fierce jabs sending sparks flying into the room. "I lost my temper and …..I…I insulted her."

"You lost your temper? You lost your temper. You insulted her. Whatever for?" she asked. "Why on earth would you do that?"

"I heard Mr. Bell and her father mention that she still exchanged letters with her friend Henry Lennox, and I think she must love him. I was angry I suppose, and I …...never mind," he said. "I did try to apologise but she would have none of it, so I had to leave."

"Henry Lennox? Are you sure about that? But she told me… What would make you think she had an understanding with Lennox?" Mrs. Thornton asked, the panic clear in her voice.

"I think she does," he replied. "I heard them talk about her dowry." _Mind you, he had overheard this and was not eavesdropping_, he said to himself.

"Dowry...Ah….." and she slumped back into her seat as weight of that word sank in. "I did not realise that was so important to them. She would not have much of a dowry anyway, but that never did matter to you, or did it?" she asked.

"No it never did," he said.

"But does that girl not know her mind? I was so sure she loved you when she accepted the bracelet, and she wore it with so much pride. Even Fanny noticed it. I still cannot believe I was mistaken, but then, I had done so in the past," she said.

"I want her to be happy. If she can't be happy with me, then I pray Lennox will give her the happiness she wants," he lied gallantly. _That is what he is supposed to say, is it not?_

"So we are back where we started and she has broken your heart all over again," Mrs. Thornton said flatly.

"Hmm… " Thornton sighed. "_This time, I broke my own heart,_" he thought to himself. Hannah could swear that she could hear the actual sound of her son's heart, piece by piece, and even though this time around it was entirely his own fault, she knew it would be just as painful, perhaps more.

"But you worked so hard and it's all been in vain. Perhaps I should not have encouraged you, but I have to admit that this has come as a surprise to me," she said. "Do you think she accepted Lennox's suit because she thought you did not love her, for you had delayed in letting her know you still did?"

"I doubt if she could be compelled to accept someone she did not love. She would not even have me to save her reputation," Thornton replied.

"Perhaps her family in London persuaded her to have Lennox to secure her future. He is her cousin's brother after all," she said, frantically seeking a reason, a plausible explanation for this turn of events

"You have made a point there. With the mill failing, I hardly have much to recommend myself. It may be for the best that she goes with one of her southern gentlemen," he said

"The heart loves what it loves," she said. "If she's caused you so much pain, I will not invite her back here. I cannot bear to see you in pain again," she said

"She is your friend, and if you still desire her company, I think she should come," Thornton said.

"She is due here on Tuesday to unveil my likeness, but I don't think I shall be able to face her so soon. I would still want to speak to her face to face though," Mrs. Thornton said.

"In all honesty, she never told me she cared for me. All she wanted was friendship," Thornton said.

"She may not have said it, but her actions spoke otherwise, that she loved you, that she loved us all, that she cared," she said. "All is not lost. She hasn't said anything yet. Let's have hope. In all honesty, I don't believe there is any other girl in the land I would prefer for you. She is worthy of you, I just pray she would have you."

"Well, I should not have called her a liar. She was in tears, Mother. The problem is that I leave first thing in the morning, and will not have the time to make amends," he said

"But why would you call her a liar just because she now has an attachment to Lennox?" Hannah asked. "She never lied about that….unless you are still thinking of that incident at Outwood Station and I hope to God you are not." As soon as she said it and saw him flinch, she knew.

"John Thornton…you did not…" she said, shook her head in disbelief and sighed. "Well, if that is the case, I would say go to Le Havre, and we will settle this when you return." As far as Mrs. Thornton was concerned, the concealment had gone far enough, and even though disclosure would not achieve much now that it would seem that Margaret had an attachment with Lennox, it was prudent that John knew the truth at last, as not knowing the truth was aggravating him more and more. She knew Thornton would never alert the authorities, but she also knew that the Hales would feel vulnerable about such a secret being out, so he would have to assure them of his discretion. He had to know, but with their consent.

"Now you remind me, Mr. Bell has invited us to dinner at the Grand on Friday with the Hales," Thornton said

"It is not something we can talk about in such a place. You need to rest and I'll leave you for now," she rose to leave

He would have to beg, plead, grovel for her forgiveness and he did not look forward to his next visit to Crampton.

Thornton stopped by Crampton on his way to the station in the morning. Neither Margaret nor her father was at home. "They left not five minutes sir. They could not have gone far," Dixon said. Thornton waited in the Drawing Room and hoped they would return soon. He still had some time to spare.

Dixon opened the window for some fresh air for him, and as soon as she left the room, a gust of wind blew a pile of paper on the side table onto the floor. Thornton went to pick them up and saw it was Margaret's sketches. He began to look at them as he placed them back. He was impressed as to how accomplished she was in her watercolour painting of a yellow rose bush, with the leaves and thorns. He was most surprised how good her pencil sketches of people were as he could recognize her parents, Mr. Bell and Dixon. There were others for her cousin Edith and Aunt Shaw, and she signed their names below the portraits. Then he saw images of the man at the Outwood Station, lots of it, and in different poses. He was either fishing, building a kite, in a tree house with a telescope, and one in a sailor's uniform judging by the collar and the cap. The man looked much younger than he saw that day but John still recognized the face. It was he, the same one, and his name at the bottom of each page was there, Frederick.

He sighed again, "Frederick."

They were all in a rural setting…. probably Helstone, and this Frederickwasprobably a childhood sweetheart….yes, it had to be, he reckoned

She loved this gentleman, no doubt about that. She said so. The bond they must have shared for her to have made lots of portraits of him. He must have sailed away on some naval commission somewhere in the Empire when they were parting that day, and that is why his mother was certain this gentleman was now gone from her life, _but not from her heart, _Thornton added. He should have listened to his mother, for whilst he tarried in asking for a proper courtship, he had probably now lost her to Henry Lennox.

He had to be sensible. Tales of love and happiness occurred only in the silly novels that Fanny read. They never happened to anyone he knew, and was never likely to happen to him. He had a mill to save. He was responsible for so many people and at least, in that situation, he had a purpose, there was something he could do. Therefore he exhaled deeply, rose, and decided to leave for the station. He will go to Le Havre, then return to Milton, and after that, he will have to resign himself to a future life alone, a life of a numbing pain that he had become accustomed to, a life without Margaret Hale.

Thornton then left a note of apology to Margaret, accompanied with the single glove, the one he kept as security. The note simply read:

"Please forgive me"

…../…

Unknown to him, Margaret and Mr. Hale were at Marlborough Mills. Hale was determined to tell Thornton about Frederick. They had taken a carriage whilst he walked so they missed each other. When they heard at the mill that he had already left, they decided to call on Mrs. Thornton at the house, and they were told that she was not yet up and not able to receive them. They left their calling cards and a message for Mr. Thornton to call on Mr. Hale on his return from Le Havre.

Mrs. Thornton watched the Hales leave Marlborough Mills from an upstairs window and then went to her writing desk to send a note to Margaret.


	15. Chapter 15 - An Understanding

Chapter Fifteen

**Coming to an Understanding**

But the future must be met, however stern and iron it be – Elizabeth Gaskell

* * *

Monday

Thornton stopped in London to change trains to Southampton and saw Henry Lennox five places in the queue in front of him at the ticket booth. "Ticket to Milton, Darkshire, first class" his voice clearly rang out. He then watched his rival go up the stairs to the northbound platform, travel bag and briefcase in hand, towards his Margaret. Two minutes later, Thornton was in front of the ticket booth to order a ticket to Southampton, standard class, away from her. He then took his seat on the southbound train, his head pressed against the cold window, with tears streaming down his cheeks.

* * *

.

Tuesday at Marlborough Mills

"Margaret, I hear your friend, Henry Lennox is in town," Mrs. Thornton said as they both stood in front of the easel to unveil the portrait. "You must be pleased to see him and receive news from London." Mrs. Thornton said to herself- "_Surely the girl should be pleased to see Lennox if she loved him, as John had said, but instead she seemed discomfited."_

Margaret nodded. "I'm confused about something. May I ask you a personal question?" Margaret asked, looked round and lowered her voice.

Hannah nodded and moved closer.

"How can you know if you love somebody?" Margaret asked. Nothing had made sense to her since Sunday night. She thought she and Thornton were becoming fast friends. He had even asked for a private audience, and she was sure he was going to offer her a second chance, and then he got angry and left, only to ask for forgiveness yesterday.

"Do you love somebody?" Hannah asked, almost holding her breath

"Yes, No, I don't know, I'm not sure," Margaret said

"What are you confused about?" Hannah asked, now feeling surprisingly dizzy and finally comprehending why some people used those infernal smelling salts.

"What do you if you do not like the person who loves you, but you love the person who hates you?" she replied.

"Now you are talking in riddles" Mrs. Thornton replied.

"You see, Henry said he loved me still and I told him I still did not love him back. It then got me wondering whether someone who used to love you can renew their offer after you'd refused them?" Margaret said.

"I suppose they could. My dear girl, do not feel compelled to accept anyone if you still have doubts. As….as your chaperone, I will support whatever decision you make, but promise me that you will talk to me before you do so," Hannah implored and placed her hands on Margaret's shoulders and turned her sideways to look into her eyes, "promise me, Margaret"

"I promise, ma'am, thank you" she replied as she took out the cover to unveil the portrait. "So what do you think?" she asked and took a step back for Mrs. Thornton's verdict…

* * *

…..

Wednesday at Crampton 

"There, Margaret, …..you are now the landlady for Marlborough Mills and Hensley Mills, and both Thornton and Watson are now your tenants" Henry Lennox said to Margaret as he gathered up the papers he had brought over for her signature and placed them in his briefcase. He had come to Milton for the week to oversee the legal transfer of title deeds and holdings of Mr. Bell's estate to Margaret. When he received the invitation from Bell, he had no idea of how much her fortunes were to change. In one week, with several signatures on a multitude of legal documents, Margaret Hale will no longer be the daughter of a poor former clergyman but, an heiress and one of the wealthiest people in Milton.

"I would not want to disappoint Mr. Bell, giving me this responsibility," she said. "Will you help me, teach me about these investments and what I can do with them?"

Lennox was uneasy discussing money with Margaret. On one hand she was now his client, and on the other, she was a lady, and talk such as this was highly improper. Edith had always said Margaret had her own mind. He just found out she also made friends indiscriminately with mill workers, tradespeople and the gentry here in Milton- such a far cry from her life in London; so he told her what she wanted to know.

He nodded. "From what I hear, I think you may have to seek for a new tenant soon. Thornton is up to his eyeballs in debt and is about to lose Marlborough Mills. Latimer had suggested to Watson and Slickson to buy some new machinery that Thornton had invested in at a reduced price in order to recoup some money for the bank."

"Poor Mr. Thornton. He had worked so hard to build up those mills and raise his family from poverty to now to lose it all…. Is there any way I could help him?" she asked.

"You have fifteen thousand pounds that Mr. Bell made from Watson's scheme sitting in your account at present. You could buy the machinery at full price and lease it back to him. That way, he can continue to run the mill and make some money for you, better than you would get from the interest in a bank," he replied.

"How very clever of me," she quipped. Lennox smiled. He'd always admired her wit. He had loved her when she had nothing, but she had turned him down. When she sent her fugitive brother to him for help, his hopes were kindled for it meant that she trusted him with such a delicate matter. He had kept Frederick hidden for several weeks at a great personal and professional risk until they could find safe passage for him. His own brother was a Navy Captain for goodness sake. He had also carried out his investigations into the mutiny as diligently as he could and quietly nurtured the hope that when she realized his selflessness, his sacrifice and devotion she may yet accept his suit. Something about Margaret's manner told him that he would be making a fool of himself if he were to persist in that venture, not whilst that tall brooding figure existed, and no proper gentleman would compete where they did not stand a chance. Her staunch defence of Thornton as a gentleman, her insistence on striving to help Thornton with her inheritance without the security of an understanding put paid to all hope of his own suit ever succeeding and removed all reasonable doubt of her regard for Mr. Thornton.

He, Henry Lennox will remain a good friend and brother to Margaret Hale.

He only hoped that Thornton knew her lucky he was.

* * *

….

Wednesday at Marlborough Mills

"My goodness, John, you startled me. I was not expecting you back for a couple of days. What are you doing sitting here in the dark?" Mrs. Thornton had gone to shut the door to the study when found her son late on Wednesday evening staring at a cold fireplace.

"A telegram was there by the time I got to the agent's office in Southampton Docks on Monday to say that the investor had developed cold feet and cancelled the meeting, so I turned right back, but it was too late to get back home. I decided to run another errand to run in the south yesterday and returned home just an hour ago," he said.

Nothing in his life made sense anymore, and his three-hour detour to Helstone and overnight stay had proved just that. He wanted to see the place where his Margaret grew up, to see the sites where she made all the sketches of her Frederick, the Vicarage where she lived and the church where she worshipped. It was a futile venture, for he knew he had no hope of ever calling her his Margaret, but went anyway, and brought back a beautiful yellow rose now safely tucked in his pocket book. It will wilt and dry up but it will always remind him of his love for her which will never fade. He then thought of the mill he was also about to lose and had not even realized it had gone dark until his mother turned up.

"Margaret and her father came after you left on Monday," she said. "They left a message for you."

"Yes, Mr. Hale wants me to come and see him as soon as I return," he replied, pointing to the open envelope on his desk. "I will go there in the morning."

He rose and moved to look out of the window into the mill yard.

"I stopped by the Grand to see Mr. Bell on my way from the station to let him know I may have to give up the lease. Do you know he has now appointed Henry Lennox as the legal adviser for Mr. Bell's estate and I now have a meeting with him tomorrow," he said

Thornton was now convinced that his future life was destined to be miserable. If there was ever a silver lining in his present situation, perhaps it was that he will not be master of Marlborough Mills for much longer, and he will not have any future dealings with the man that his Margaret will marry, Henry Lennox, southern gentleman and barrister, the one who will get to kiss her and make love to her and father her children. Lennox probably did not know how lucky he was.

His mother knew what he was thinking, so she told him, "Margaret does not have an understanding with Mr. Lennox. She was not sure of her mind, I think, but there is still a chance."

She could tell he was trying so hard to hide his tears from her so she looked away and stared out of the window into the dark Milton night. She reached out and squeezed his shoulder and thought of the girl in Crampton, who should have been the source of his comfort, but was actually the reason for his turmoil in the first place.

"Please don't hate her," he said

When she took on the role of chaperone, she felt duty-bound to guide Margaret and hoped she would get her to respect and love John. However, she did not expect that to feel so much affection for the girl. She said, "no John, I don't. I hurt but I don't hate her. I can't," and then went off to bed.

Thornton stayed on in his study, shut the door and stayed up all night and for the first time in eighteen years, wept and wept and wept all night for all he had lost, for whom he had lost, Margaret Hale being at the top of that very long list.

* * *

….

Thursday at Crampton

The next morning, Thornton trudged to Crampton, his heart feeling heavier with every step. He had a meeting with Mr. Hale but he also wanted to see Margaret. It will be his first proper meeting with her following his churlish outburst last Sunday and he was apprehensive as to how he would be received. He made up his mind to be civil, courteous and friendly. He will apologise and endure her cold shoulder, which he deserved, and he will remain the perfect gentleman, he said to himself. He needed to know if she had an understanding with Lennox, and resign himself to whatever fate threw at him. He had lain on the couch in his study and stared at the ceiling all night and by the first light of dawn, he was up and ready to venture out. The streets were quiet; the residents of Milton were still in slumber as he made his way to Crampton. He then sat on the front steps of the house and waited to hear the sound of movement indoors before he knocked on the door.

Dixon was surprised to see him so early. "Mr. Hale was still in bed but Miss Hale was already up and will join him in the study," she had said.

He stood in the study, looked out of the window, just like he had done the day after the riots, and waited for Margaret Hale. On that day, he had come armed with the hope of her regard for him following her actions on that balcony. This day could not be more contrasting; his situation was dire, for he was poor to start with, a failed businessman, tradesman to be precise; and he now knew of Frederick and Henry both gentlemen, both from the South, and both to be preferred for sure. Lennox was the most fortunate, for he gained her hand without agonizing over Frederick who was no longer there to claim her. Thornton knew his jealousy and his temper became his downfall as his mother had warned him.

He was certain he knew the answer before he asked the question, so what he was about to do made no sense whatsoever, but he had a plan and he would stick to it – apologise and ask about Henry Lennox, apologise and ask about…...

She came into the room, gave him a gentle smile, and she still had his bracelet on. Surely, that had to be a sign that she did not despise him. "_Did Lennox know that the bracelet was an offering of love from John Thornton, a veritable but failed suitor? Perhaps not, otherwise, he would have replaced it at once,"_ Thornton mused for that is what he would have done.

"We…Papa was not expecting you until Friday," she said warily.

"I beg your pardon. I returned last night. I wanted to see you," he covered the distance between them.

"I wanted to see you too," she said. "I have a proposition for Marlborough Mills. I am only trying to help I assure you."

He looked at her curiously

"Now, let me get this right…Henry had this suggestion….he would be able to explain it better…."she continued.

"No, I don't need Lennox's opinion of how to run a mill. Those who are happy and successful themselves are too apt to make light of the misfortunes of others," Thornton said.

"He wasn't making light of your troubles at all. You are being unjust sir," she said.

He recalled how jovial and friendly the younger man was trying to be when they met at the Grand, and how that irritated him. "I hear he spends all the time with you these days….like we used to. Do you have…love him then?" he faltered

"No, oh no, I don't love him at all," she shook her head, "I had someone else in mind," and glanced meaningfully up at him and dropped her eyes down to her hand and began to run her fingers around the bracelet, the heat rising on her face.

Thornton knew he had been presumptuous in the past, to his gross detriment, so he stared, open-mouthed, and heart pounding against the wall of his chest. Could he dare to hope? He could not afford to offend her, but his tongue was somehow stuck to the roof of his mouth.

He watched her frown in puzzlement and blurted out before he lost his nerve, "I love you, Margaret, I love you still and I have never stopped loving you"

"Oh…" she said

"Miss Hale…er….Margaret" he said and took one of her hands into his own and stared at them. She brought up her other hand and covered his own.

"Yes, Mr. Thornton…."

"Will you marry me?" he asked tentatively, looking up from their hands to her face. Even as he said it, he could not believe his audacity, as his well-thought out plan had vanished from his mind completely.

"Yes, Mr. Thornton…." she responded, blushing fiercely

"Yes?" he asked again disbelieving his ears and looking into her eyes to be sure

"Yes" she confirmed nodding lowering her lashes slowly.

"Oh dear God, Margaret" he gasped as he pulled her into his embrace and just held her tight, very tight, and wrapped his arms around her with her head tucked underneath his neck and they both stood there silently, listening to each other breathing. He rained kisses on the top of her head, and then he loosened his hold on her and put his hand under her chin and turned her face to look up at him.

Thornton knew fantasies such as this never happened to him. He had to be certain that Margaret was sure about what she had agreed to…. "You do consent…to have me….to claim you as my own….to let me love you?" he asked

"Yes I do. I love you Mr. Thornton," Margaret replied smiling

"John" he corrected

She nodded, "John"

He then reached into his pocket book and brought out the yellow rose, and gave it to her. "With compliments from Helstone, my love," he said.

He led her to the sofa and pulled her close with one arm across her shoulder, and with his other hand he caressed her cheeks. "May I kiss you?" he asked

Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened in surprise, and she clasped her hands over her mouth.

"I want to kiss you, Margaret," he continued and lowered his voice in a bid to contain his passion. He began to count downwards from ten in his mind, and if he got down to one, and she did not object - "will you let me?" he asked again

"…..yes," she whispered and hid her red face in his chest.

"Thank you," he said and then cradled her into his embrace, lowered her hands, ran his fingers across her cheeks and then lowered his lips onto her soft lips, tentatively at first, suckling her upper lip and then onto her lower lip and then deepening the connection. With his tongue, he prised her lips wider apart and as the tip of his tongue pressed against her teeth, she opened them and let him in and their tongues touched and they kissed passionately. Margaret melted into his arms and then let out a soft moan.

This brought Thornton back to his senses. "Oh dear, I have a meeting with your father and I have to request your hand," he said, and he swiftly moved her away from himself, praying that she would be oblivious of the effect that her proximity had had on his body so he crossed his long legs tightly and pulled his coat up to hide the telltale evidence of his predicament. "_Soon enough_," he patted his knee, "_soon enough_."

Margaret left to look for her father, and after he had regained his composure, Thornton left the study to go upstairs to wait for them in the Drawing Room.

* * *

_A/N – Thanks for all the reviews. They have been very helpful. Some dialogue has been borrowed from Mrs. Gaskell's North and South._

9


	16. Chapter 16 - Telling Mr Hale

Chapter Sixteen – Telling Mr. Hale..

* * *

You have two kinds of secrets. The ones only you know. The ones only you don't

James Richardson

* * *

Margaret left to look for her father, and after he had regained his composure, Thornton left the study to go upstairs to wait for them in the Drawing Room.

Thornton saw the sketchbook in the corner and went over and pored over the portraits again and felt an immense sense of excitement and joy that Margaret could now do a portrait for him. He had seen the one she made for his mother last night and could not have imagined that he would so soon be in a position to have one as well; plus his likeness will now be part of her collection of loved ones alongside her parents, Edith and even Frederick. He would want one of himself in his tall hat, or sitting at his desk, or perhaps reading Plato's The Republic in his favourite armchair. "Tis a happy circumstance indeed."

Margaret then came into the room to tell him Mr. Hale would be present shortly and saw her sketches in his hands and looked at him in alarm

Thornton, still looking at the portraits asked, "Margaret, can you do a likeness of me too?"

No reply

He looked up from the sketches, and asked again.

"Margaret, dearest, Can you do a likeness of me too, like this?" he said, turning back to Frederick's portrait, and running his fingers across the face.

Margaret's lips parted and made a soundless 'o'.

"I can sit for you, and you will do a likeness of me" he placed the sketches back on the side table and moved towards her and looked intently at her.

Margaret nodded, her face a mixture of curiousity and trepidation, but strangely enough John did not look cross, and that puzzled her.

"Thank you, Margaret, dearest" he said and then sat down on the couch, silently and thoughtfully.

"John…" Margaret moved next to him and touched his arm to call his attention.

"Margaret" he leaned in gently, "do you think someday in the future you can ever love me like that…..…..like your Frederick?" and he pointed to the sketchbook but his eyes did not leave her face.

"Yes, I can, and I do. Mr. Thornton…John….….Father will explain…." Margaret looked round for her father to come in and explain it all.

As if on cue, Mr. Hale came into the Drawing Room. John and Margaret rose up to greet him.

"Good morning, John, and congratulations. Margaret has just told me that she has consented to matrimony with you," he said. "About time, I say. Welcome to the family. This has made me very happy."

"You knew? I was going to ask for your blessing first," he responded and exchanged a secret smile with Margaret who swiftly averted her eyes and coloured at the memory of their kiss and began to fidget with her sleeve. Thornton could tell they had both enjoyed it…..and nothing could have been more delicious….well, for now….

"You have my blessing, John," Mr. Hale replied.

"Thank you, sir. It will be an honour to become your son," Thornton said and could not stop smiling. Both men shook hands

Mr. Hale asked Margaret to excuse them and that he had a matter to discuss with Thornton. "You will join us for breakfast, Mr. Thornton….John?" she said. He nodded vigorously and beamed. _Breakfast with his Margaret_

"I will get the tea now," she said and left.

./…

* * *

"We have quite a lot to talk about, John," Hale said and motioned to Thornton to take his seat. "I had something else in mind, but now with this engagement, I suppose we have to start with the matter of Margaret's settlement."

"Settlement, sir? I assure you, Miss Hale…Margaret…..my wife will want for nothing when we are married. It will be my honour to provide for her. I may no longer be a mill master, but I will surely obtain employment as manager or overseer in one of the other mills in town. My mother and..….."Thornton began

"John, Margaret has a dowry," Hale cut in. "Adam Bell has named her as his heir, and your mill and house, land and holdings all over town and several other investments now belong to her."

"I don't understand," Thornton said.

"Bell has bequeathed Margaret with a great deal of land and property, and he participated in that scheme of your brother-in-law's and made some handsome returns as well. All that will be her dowry," Hale explained. "Once you are married, they revert to you."

Hale clasped his hands on his lap and observed the several transitions in facial expression from the younger man as the information began to sink in. "But I don't want to take her money," Thornton said after a while

"Do you have a choice?" Hale said. "It is the law. Besides, she is not yet one-and-twenty, so it is held in trust by me at present, and it all becomes yours upon her marriage."

"I know many men choose to be advantageously attached in matrimony, but I assure you that I had not proposed to her for her inheritance," Thornton said.

"You couldn't have. You did not know about it, so be rest assured that we are clear on your motive. You love my daughter, and I trust you will take very good care of her. In any case, it will be futile to think you can stop the gossip and innuendo out there," Hale said

"I understand," Thornton said nodding, "but it will be Margaret's decision about how her money is used."

"I leave that to you two. Anyway, I requested this meeting to tell you about a delicate matter, and it actually involved Margaret."

"Margaret?..." John asked nervously

"Margaret recently told me, actually Bell and me all that had transpired between the two of you," Mr. Hale began in a serious tone. "Would you believe that I was unaware of the incident during the riot at Marlborough Mills and the part Margaret played in it until a few days ago? Margaret confessed the whole thing to us and told us of your failed proposal. I am sorry for all that you went through"

"All is forgiven, sir" Thornton replied. "I love Miss Hale, and I am honoured that she has consented to marry me."

"But why did you not tell me yourself?" Hale asked. "All this fuss would have been resolved earlier. I would have insisted that she accepted you at the time"

"I do apologise, sir. It was remiss of me, but I would not have wanted her to resent me if she felt she had been compelled to accept me." Thornton said.

"You are a good man, John, but please, do not let Margaret push you into doing such foolhardy things as going out to calm a mob. You could have been killed or seriously injured, and deprived your mother of a child," Hale said.

"She protected my life with hers actually," Thornton said.

"In that case, she could have been killed, and deprived me of my child," Hale said.

"Your only child sir," Thornton emphasized.

"Only child? That brings me to the main reason I wanted you here but I need Margaret to be present for this, so we will wait for her," Hale said. "It is matter of great delicacy. Please bear with me. We had real reasons for concealment at the time and I do hope you understand when I get to tell you" Mr. Hale said.

"You piqued my curiousity sir" Thornton said

"It is nothing serious or harmful to you. I will just say this, that despite what you may think about my Margaret, she is a good and virtuous person. God has blessed me indeed with that child" Mr. Hale said as he rose to summon Margaret.

"I do not doubt it sir, and I consider myself truly blessed indeed that she would have me," replied Thornton.

Margaret came in bearing the tea. She handed her father his cup of tea, and when she handed Thornton his tea he did what he had always longed to do; he took her little finger and thumb in his masculine hand, and made them serve as sugar tongs. Mr. Hale watched this and both men exchanged a knowing smile, and Hale said to Thornton, "you've got it bad my boy."

Thornton coloured and inclined his head to look up at Margaret who had also turned crimson and then he tugged at her hand and prompted her to take the seat next to him, his eyes, not leaving her face. Margaret tried to pull her hand away because her father was present and a quick sidelong glance told her he wasn't annoyed about this display of affection, so she let Thornton hold and draw her closer.

"Ahem…" Hale cleared his throat to draw their attention and they turned to look at him. He settled his teacup down in the saucer, placed it on the stool and sat upright to begin.

"We have a secret in the family, John" Hale said. "I have a son, Frederick."

"Frederick….?" Thornton said, his face creased into a deep frown as he eyes darted towards the pile of sketches on the side table and then back at Hale and Margaret.

"Frederick…?" he repeated and squeezed Margaret's hand. Hale and Margaret nodded.

"He is six years older than Margaret. Eight years ago, he joined the Royal Navy and quickly rose up to the rank of Lieutenant. About four years ago, he went on a voyage on the Russell and became implicated in a mutiny in the high seas. Since then, he has had to live in exile because there is a bounty on his head and he will most definitely be court-martialed and may be hanged if he is arrested," Hale continued

"Oh dear…" Thornton leaned forward and clasped his free hand over his mouth as Hale went on

"You saw him once, but you did not know it. He was the gentleman with Margaret at Outwood Station that night after my wife died. He came in secretly to see his mother and had risked his life to come here. You see, the navy spares no expense. They send out ships specifically to hunt the seas for the guilty men. It is as fresh and vivid a crime as if it happened yesterday."

Thornton stared as in a trance. This was not what he expected to hear at all.

Hale continued, "someone from Helstone, a scoundrel called Leonards saw Dixon in the street and knew we were here in Milton, and threatened to alert the authorities to claim the bounty in case Frederick ever came here. Margaret and Dixon kept this from me because I was so distraught at my wife's death. I had asked Margaret to escort her brother to the station that evening, and she had no choice but to hide his identity for his safety when the police interviewed her. The man you saw was her brother, my son, Frederick."

"It was her brother," Thornton said to himself

"Yes," Hale said

"Your son" Thornton said, remembering his conversation with Mr. Bell

"Yes"

"Why could you not tell me? I could have helped," Thornton said

"You are a magistrate, John, an officer of the Crown, honour-bound to arrest a fugitive. We did not want to implicate you in our troubles. Nevertheless, you did help, when you stopped the inquiry, for it would have exposed Frederick and Margaret did not know if he was safely out of the country. She had to cover up for him at a huge risk to her reputation," Hale explained.

Flashes of conversation and realization coursed through Thornton's mind as the revelation finally made sense of the confusion that had dogged him since the last days of Mrs. Hale when he was refused entry to the house, up to that evening at Outwood Station and his mother's admonition about doubting Margaret.

"I would never have handed your son to the authorities, sir," he said to Mr. Hale, and then turned to Margaret who was now sobbing quietly, and he instinctively moved to put his arm around her and stopped himself in time. He was not yet sure of the protocols of betrothals. He glanced at Mr. Hale apologetically and with a wry smile and a nod, Hale motioned to Thornton to proceed so he gently put his arm around her and pulled her closer and said gently, "I have to admit that I misjudged you Margaret. I did you a great disservice."

"Let me bear the blame for this, John. She bore this burden for me. I am also thankful that your mother cared for my child," Hale said

"So is Lieutenant Hale safe now?" Thornton whispered

"He got back to Spain five weeks ago. Margaret had tried to get Henry Lennox to look into the case and see if he could be cleared, but it was futile. Lennox worked tirelessly and his last letter to Margaret just last week pleased us tremendously. It gave us hope but unfortunately Henry later found that the potential witness, who could have cleared Frederick, a Petty Officer named Horrocks had travelled to Australia two months before Frederick even came into town."

"I see," Thornton said

"_Oh my God_," Thornton thought. "_So there were no love letters exchanged, and I just got the wrong end of the stick." _His heart sank and he pulled Margaret into his chest and whispered to soothingly repeatedly, "I'm so sorry…._for all the misunderstanding"_ he added silently. His snide remark to her was cruel enough, and to now realize how so undeserved and unjustified it was made his heart sink even lower.

Dixon came in to announce that breakfast was ready and barely hid her shock as to Mr. Thornton's familiar and highly improper posture around the young mistress, but as the master was present, she knew an understanding had occurred. If truth be told, she had seen it coming, with Miss Margaret's regular lunch dates and watercolour stint at Marlborough Mills, the chess and the reading with Mr. Thornton, and baking lemon curd biscuits, yes, what she greatly feared had indeed come upon her - the tradesman had finally won the hand of a lady, a Beresford for that matter. "_If only the mistress was still here…_"

Hale rose to go but motioned to Thornton to stay with Margaret, so he held on to her and remained in his seat, his eyes not leaving her face. Hale said to him, "I take my leave. Will join me later for breakfast?" and Thornton replied 'yes, thank you sir' and Hale left the room and shut the door behind him.

Thornton drew out his handkerchief and wiped her tears and kissed her gently on the lips, once, twice, and then rose and walked to the window, with his back turned to her. "Margaret, come please…." his voice cracked," and she rose to join him.

Margaret saw his eyes had pooled with tears. "…..I'll go," she said

"Stay, please," and he reached and wrapped his arms around her. "I do not deserve you. I do not deserve such love. You had loved me all this while and I did not know it. You bore my harshness, my insults, and my judgment yet you remained civil to me."

"Yes, but…" Margaret began

Thornton continued, "I thought I was the only with a broken heart, but you had suffered much more. You endured the gossip and misunderstanding and suffered in silence. I could not get Frederick's image at the station out of my mind. Even when you welcomed my attentions, I stubbornly let my jealousy dictate my attitude to you. That must have made it difficult for you to confide in me, to trust me with so delicate a secret. I am so sorry for everything I put you through. Please forgive me for doubting you."

"Mr….John, but I wronged you yet you loved me in spite of my flaws," she said

"I love your flaws. I would rather call them virtues, for circumstances made them necessary. My own flaws were not. My temper I daresay is a failing indeed," he said

"You had provocation to induce that temper," she said lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it.

"No, it is inexcusable and I almost lost you to Henry Lennox because of it," he said. _Even Lennox was in on the family secret._

"Henry is a good friend and he has a lot of respect for you. You need not be jealous of him," she said.

"Give me time. My mother would never have forgiven me though. You know she loves you very much," Thornton said

He then moved over to the side table to look at the sketches again with Margaret's hand twined in his. "So I will have a new brother now. I'd always wanted one closer to my age than Watson," he said. "You will tell me all about him."

"Of course," she replied. "In so many ways, Fred is like you, a champion for fair play and protection of the weak, and an unfailing devotion to his loved ones; and in other ways, he is so different from you; he has this penchant for mischief that often gets me into trouble with Mama"

"Did he get you to climb to the weathervane for that kite?..." Thornton asked, "….when you got soot all over the parlour?"

"You remembered….." Margaret said. "That was Fred through and through. Papa and I have such wonderful memories to share with you. You would have loved him if you had ever met."

"Yes, if you had let me into the house that day," he said. "I saw his bag in the hallway and heard him laughing upstairs."

"I'm sorry about that," she said and tears sprung to her eyes. He reached to wipe them with his thumb and then continued to kiss the tears on her cheek.

"Dearest, please don't cry. We have made each other miserable for too long. Now, tell me, when did you first know you loved me?" he asked

"As soon as you left that morning, and I saw your gloves, I realized I may have made a terrible mistake in refusing you, that you came because you cared for me, and not out of pity for my reputation. I insulted you so much so that I had no hope that you would ever ask me again. When you later said your passion was over, I realized my second chance was gone even before I was aware of it," she replied.

"You mean to say I could have come right back for them and being put out of my misery, and you could have probably considered a courtship?" Thornton asked

"Friendship perhaps…," Margaret said and her voice trailed as she added, "I had always liked your smile…..…and your voice….and…"

"You had your arms around my neck like this that day," he said and pulled her arms up to him, "and then we played chess and read together, and made tea, and we did not know our love was returned by the other."

"Now, you are smiling," Margaret noted

"Of course. I also just found out you've only ever loved me, Margaret?" he murmured to her lips. "There were no others. Only me, as I have only ever loved you." He had even confessed his inexperience when he first proposed… _"I have never loved any woman before; my life has been too busy, my thoughts too much absorbed with other things…."_ And if their first kiss was anything to go by, their inexperience will be of little consequence to the passion he instinctively knew would be present in their union.

"Only you, John," she said softly.

"Only me" he nodded to himself, and then lowered his lips to hers and kissed her and really kissed her. This time, there were no lingering doubts about their mutual love.

…/..


	17. Chapter 17 - Telling Mrs Thornton

Chapter Seventeen – Telling Mrs. Thornton

* * *

Mrs. Thornton had breakfast alone. She had not seen John before he left that morning. Sleep had eluded her so she had knelt by her bed and prayed, begged, bargained with and vowed to God for him and for Margaret until the early hours of the morning.

Margaret waited in the formal Parlour and not in the Drawing Room. This was a special visit, John said, introducing his fiancé to his mother, and he wanted to mark it as such and this made her a surprising jumble of nerves. She looked round. She had never been in this room. She doubted if the family ever use it much either, but it was well cared for. It smelt of jasmine and had a vase of fresh violets and carnations on the side chest. It was a grand and handsome room, if not a bit oppressive for Margaret's liking, in bold décor of silver, black, beige and gold, with beige and gold velvet drapes and taupe wallpaper. An ebony pianoforte stood in the corner, alongside a dark walnut chest of drawers and side- serving table, chandelier of bronze and gilded couches and armchairs covered in white and gold damask. Daguerrotypes in brass frames of the family hung on the wall, and a small photograph probably of the late George Thornton stood on the mantelpiece. Of all this, she is soon to become mistress. No wonder they need all the staff to keep the place spotless, for indeed, there was not a speck of dust to be found anywhere, which had to be remarkable feat for any house in Milton.

Nerves began to overcome her the longer she waited for Mrs. Thornton. What if Mrs. Thornton doesn't think her worthy? What if her southern ways will continue to grate on her nerves? What if….what if…?

Thornton went to get his mother, but she was neither in the Drawing Room, nor in the Dining Room nor in her bedchamber. The maid then told him she was on an upper floor taking an inventory of items for packing and vacating the house

Hannah heard his footsteps down the hall coming closer and stopping at every doorway and knew he was looking for her. She quickly composed herself and waited till he found her. "So why did Mr. Hale wish to see you?" Hannah asked without looking up as John came in. It was almost midday and he had missed breakfast and that got her worried, reminiscent of the days after the first proposal where his heartbreak had almost destroyed him.

He replied. "…to welcome me into the family"

She looked up sharply at him. "…..into the family...what do you mean?"

"Margaret is waiting in the Parlour for you. She will have me," he grinned. "She loves me, Mother, and she has consented to becoming my wife…_my_ Margaret"

"Has she now?" Hannah gasped, relieved. "Of course she loves you. But what about her correspondence with Lennox? Did you ask her?"

"I was mistaken there. He had written to her about her brother's case…" he replied.

"…..I see…"she said.

"….And judging from your reaction, you knew everything about him all along," he said. She gave a barely imperceptible nod. "You were right to keep their secret. I hadn't earned the right to know it, and she did not know that I still loved her. Anyway, I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused."

"Eavesdropping….."she agreed, "and you owe her a big apology, doubting her like that. Come now and let us go and meet my new daughter."

"I will join you shortly," he said, "I have to get something for Margaret."

…

* * *

"Margaret….…John tells me you will have him.…"Hannah said as she came into the Parlour, embraced Margaret and kissed her cheek.

"You are pleased then?" Margaret asked. "You don't think me unworthy and impertinent and stubborn?"

Hannah laughed, "my dear dear girl….you are stubborn and strong-willed and clever, and that is what my son loves about you. Indeed, you are worthy, so please be kind to my boy, he loves you so."

"I love him too," Margaret said. "I know my past has not much to recommend me, and you may think me cold and indifferent to him, but I love him ma'am. I do love him."

"I believe you do. You would not have tolerated the company of an old woman without complaint otherwise. I have watched you and I know you care deeply for my son but you don't have to excuse his temper and moods. You respect him, and you make him very happy, and that is what I ask….all I ask. One day soon, I suppose you will have to call me Mother," Mrs. Thornton said

"I could call you now, if you wish," Margaret replied. "It will be an honour, Mrs. Thornton."

"Mamma," she corrected in her Darkshire accent. "That is what Fanny calls me."

"Mama," Margaret repeated in her southern accent, even though she would have preferred to call her 'mother' like John did, she knew this was Hannah's way of saying she saw Margaret as a daughter, for 'mother' was reserved for sons. Hannah never even used endearments like –dear- for John either; that was reserved for Fanny.

* * *

Thornton came into the room and went straight to Margaret seated on the couch and knelt down in front of her. He then reached into his breast pocket and brought out a blue velvet box that held a beautiful and most exquisitely crafted sapphire and diamond ring set in gold filigree. He had ordered it from the jewelers some nine months back, on the day of the riots when his mother told him to delay for one day before going to Crampton. The ring was delivered the following week and he had promptly tucked it out of sight at the back of the safe in his bedchamber alongside a special licence for an immediate wedding that he had hoped would take place at the time. His mother did not know he had ordered the ring and paid for it. Even in his moment of desperation just last week, he could not bear to sell it to save his mill, and now he is glad he had resisted that urge. The licence was still valid, and he could make Margaret his own before the day was over if she would consent..….well on his part he desperately desired it to be so…...,but he knew it was ungentlemanly to seem so desperate, nevertheless he would not let this day pass without giving her the ring, the token of his commitment at the very least.

"Dearest Margaret, will you do me the honour….."his voice trembled as he placed the ring on her finger

"You got a ring already?..." Margaret exclaimed and as soon as she said it and saw him wince and stiffen, she knew. "Oh dear God…John….." she whispered and gently moved off the sofa and knelt down before him and cupped his face in her hands. He sat back on his haunches and pulled her into his lap, wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her chest. "I'm yours now," Margaret murmured soothingly and hugged her arms across his bowed head and pulled him closer into her. "It will be alright now, I promise."

Mrs. Thornton watched them, tears brimming her eyes, uncertain whether to be lenient on propriety for now, for they had been through so much pain. On one hand, she was glad to see Margaret loved her son enough and would forego propriety to comfort him, but on the other hand, she was concerned that such displays of affection even amongst married couples would have raised eyebrows, for were it not for the high collar blouse Margaret wore, John's nose would have been tucked in her cleavage, his lips perilously close to her full breasts. She decided that she would have to have one of those mother-daughter talks with Margaret soon. She then rose to shut the door and give them some privacy but decided to remain in the room to keep a watchful eye on them in case things got out of hand, and prayed fervently that no servant would walk in on them.

After what seemed like an eternity, Hannah coughed to call their attention and both Thornton and Margaret became aware of their surroundings and helped each other up, embarrassed and both looked apologetically towards Mrs. Thornton who was visibly relieved that that episode was over. Who could forget the furore caused by that libertine couple that met at a train station recently and sat on a platform bench and kissed each other passionately in full view of the world, and then the girl left her companion on the southbound train and went home on the northbound train with her lover. The man did not even have a coat, hat or cravat on.

Refreshments were brought in and Hannah invited Margaret to serve tea for them. Thornton could not wipe the smile off his face, watching her every move. Margaret's serene demeanour was gone as well for she darted sly glances back at him, knowing he enjoyed watching the bracelet ritual and was going to use her fingers as sugar tongs again.

"Congratulations to both of you. God has answered your prayers, John," Hannah cut in to the couple's shared reverie and flirtations, "….even though our circumstances are altered, I know there will be so much joy in this family."

"Our circumstances are altered indeed, Mother" he said. "Marlborough Mills is safe. We are safe. Margaret has saved me a second time. She is an heiress, and she wants me to use her inheritance to continue to run the mill."

"Heiress?..."Mrs. Thornton queried

"Yes, Mrs. Thor..…Mama," Margaret replied. "Mr. Bell has named me as his heir. He appointed Henry Lennox to draw up the papers and transfer the title deeds of his estate and holdings to me. That was why he came to Milton. Marlborough Mills, this house, so many properties and investments are now mine, and soon will become John's."

"So Mr. Lennox was not only here to renew his offer then?" Mrs. Thornton asked. All the news was such a jumble that she did not even know where to start.

"Renew..? What are you talking about?" Thornton asked, his eyes darting from one lady to the other at alarming speed.

"Henry proposed to me in Helstone, before we ever came to Milton, before I ever met you," Margaret explained, "but I turned him down."

"Yes, but he has been around you all week. If he ever ….." he warned

"John, I chose you. I love you. You have no need to fear. Henry is a proper gentleman like you, and he would not meddle" she laughed. Neither Thornton nor Hannah missed the implication of what Margaret had just said…. "_..a proper gentleman like you.."_

"When can I marry you?" he asked. Every fibre of his being could hardly stand to be parted from her any longer.

Margaret replied, " I think we have to wait for at least three weeks after the banns are read."

"We could use a special licence and get married sooner, if you consent….by tomorrow…..or next Monday….Wednesday…." he said. He will be damned if he leaves anything to chance, and not after he now had confirmation that that popinjay Lennox who had been sniffing around his woman for the past four days had had serious designs on her.

"Margaret, would you want a big wedding like Fanny's?" Mrs. Thornton asked

"On no, ma'am, certainly not like Fanny's" she said. "I'm still in full mourning for another six weeks, so it would not even be appropriate, but then I'd always wanted a modest wedding. I even once told Henry that I would be content to just put on my best frock and walk to church under the shade of trees."

"So, you even discussed your wedding plans with Lennox?" Thornton said. He may strive to overcome his temper, but jealousy was a different matter altogether…

"John…John, you may get a special license and we will marry soon. Mama and I will sit to discuss what needs to be done. I definitely do not want anything as grand as Fanny had, but you are a mill master, a magistrate and an important person here, and I would not want to deprive your mother the chance of having a befitting wedding for her only son," Margaret said.

Mrs. Thornton smiled. She had no doubt about how much she really loved this soon-to-be Mrs. Thornton. "You have the measure of him, Margaret," Mrs. Thornton said.

"Please don't make me wait too long, remember we have to keep the mill running and retain the workers' jobs," Thornton teased, and clasped his hand over Margaret's, lifted it to his lips and ran a finger across her palm discreetly tickling a sensitive part and sending thrills coursing through her. His mother eyed him curiously and suspected he must have done something very naughty but could not put her finger on it (forgive the pun) for she noticed how Margaret stiffened, clamped her lower lip between her teeth, squeezed her eyes shut and clasped her stomach at this seemingly innocuous gesture.

"John, I believe you have a meeting with Mr. Lennox this afternoon, so I suppose you would wish to leave us now," Mrs. Thornton said and decided to put a stop to her son's mischief. "Margaret, please come with me, I would like to take you on a tour of the house….you will soon be the mistress here."

Mrs. Thornton rose and led the way, but John pulled Margaret back into the room and planted a lingering kiss on her lips ignoring his mother's disapproving gasp and only stopped in response to her warning cough when one of the servants was heard coming down the hall.

"Sorry Mother," Thornton said.

"Sorry Mama," Margaret said. "Stop it," she elbowed and whispered sharply to John who slinked his arm around her waist for a quick hug.

It is always easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

"Later," he whispered to Margaret, twinning his fingers with hers

"I heard that," Hannah warned. Margaret, do not let John take liberties. He is still a man." At this rate, that special licence wedding by next Wednesday is beginning to sound more like a very good idea, she thought.

…

* * *

./

"You will be mistress here in two weeks time," Mrs. Thornton said for the third time that day, and Margaret knew the older woman was sad to be relinquishing a position she had held on to and prided herself in for such a long time.

"Mama, we don't have to do what others expect us to do. You have run this place efficiently for John, and all I ask is for you to teach me…guide me in how to do the same for him, the way he wants it, and you are the best person to do so, and I have so much to learn," she squeezed Hannah's hand reassuringly, and she nodded gratefully back to Margaret.

* * *

Both ladies went round inspecting the renovation being done all over the house for the wedding and to welcome the new mistress. Fanny had obliged by sending over samples of fabric and catalogues to Margaret and her mother, and recommended her carpenter and decorator. She also came every day as it gave her some new diversion, and she now had some shared interest with her sister-to-be, a wealthy sister mind you, and not an upstart as all of Milton had supposed and she was quick to let everyone know that her new sister even had aristocratic lineage and landed gentry connections in London

Margaret preferred a more warm and inviting décor to the expensive fare at the house, but she did not wish to offend Hannah, so she decided to change only the Drawing Room and leave the Dining Room the way Mrs. Thornton decorated it. It was Hannah's favourite room in the house and where the annual Masters Dinner was held, and she wanted to respect that.

"Once the wallpaper and calicoes you ordered arrive, Clarke assures me your rooms should be ready by the time you return from your wedding holiday," Mrs. Thornton said. She felt that Margaret had to have her own set of rooms with bedchamber, sitting room and dressing room as befitting a lady, and they appointed a builder to renovate several rooms for the new mistress.

"Thank you very much Mama," Margaret said as she peered into her new room still full of wood planks, paint cans and sawdust. She went in and moved towards an opening in the wall and craned her neck to see another bedchamber on the other side

"That will lead to John's bedchamber," Hannah said pointing to the newly formed doorway with lintels and jamb. Margaret reddened and shifted uncomfortably at the implication of sharing a bed with John. "You won't need to use the corridor. We would not want to give the servants tales to tell," she continued

"I know what you must think of me?" Margaret protested and stared down at her feet.

"Come now, Margaret, don't be so miss-ish," Hannah replied. "Surely your mother must have told you something."

Mrs. Hale had told Margaret that marital duties were uncomfortable, messy and usually of short duration. Aunt Shaw had told Edith that once she was with child, her husband would leave her alone and probably go elsewhere to indulge his sinful carnal appetites. Edith said that the Captain paid a lot of attention to her and she found that when she obliged him, he became more agreeable and found it was not as unpleasant as Aunt Shaw made it out to be.

Margaret was not sure whether it was proper to ask Mrs. Thornton about intimate matters considering the fact that it was her son that she would be giving herself to, but at the same time Hannah had been a mother to her. She glanced up at Mrs. Thornton and found her peering down at her with an indulgent smirk.

"_Heaven help the woman who would attempt to ration John's passions_" Hannah thought of the counsel she'd received and had given to Fanny to ration Watson's passions. Instead, she said to Margaret, "John is an intense and passionate man, and he is going to give you a lot of attention. Let him love you. You will be sore at first, but it won't last. Trust him. He will never do anything to hurt you."

By this time, both ladies were sporting matching shades of red on their hot faces.

They both walk down the corridor to the next set of rooms that were being renovated.

"John is so happy that Father Hale will be moving in with us. They can now talk about Plato, all day and all night," Hannah smiled conspiratorially to Margaret.

"Papa cannot stop talking about it either. He even wants Mr. Bell to stay here whenever he comes to town, and not at the Grand." Margaret replied

Thornton felt it would be taxing on Margaret after the wedding to visit Crampton every day to care for her father as well as run the house at Marlborough Mills so they suggested to Mr. Hale and Dixon to move in to Marlborough Mills with them soon after the wedding, and he readily agreed. It did not seem fair for Thornton to have two women to care for him and Mr. Hale none, and besides the house now belonged to Margaret and Thornton soon anyway. Hale would have his own sitting room, study, bedchamber and dressing room, where he could choose to stay within his quarters or join the rest of the household if he so desired.

Dixon decided that she would stay on, as she could not desert a Beresford, and the Milton ladies' maids would never be good enough for Miss Margaret.

Marlborough Mills was safe, and so was the livelihood of a hundred families

…

* * *

/….

Using the special licence, and two weeks to the day, on the second Wednesday in May, Margaret Hale became a Thornton. Everyone in Milton and Aunt Shaw, Edith, Captain Lennox and Henry Lennox from London, and Mr. Bell came from Oxford, and witnessed Richard Hale escort his daughter down the aisle to be joined to John Thornton, who was undoubtedly, the happiest man in all of England. Nicholas Higgins and his daughter, Mary were invited to the wedding as well, much to Hannah Thornton's consternation, but she decided not to hold on to her prejudices.

Hannah Thornton marveled at how practical and unfussy her new daughter was. She did not want expensive gowns for her trousseau from London and was content to have the patronage of the dressmakers of Milton. Nevertheless, her Aunt Shaw gave her a trunk load of the latest gowns from the fashion dressmakers in London as a wedding present.

Her wedding dress was made of white Honiton lace and organdy and the petticoats of tulle, and silk with a modest bodice and train. The veil was white lace borrowed from Edith with a wreath of orange blossoms. She had on white gloves and silk stockings and blue garter. After the church ceremony, the flower coronet was replaced by a diamond tiara that John gave her as a wedding present and which she was to use for special occasions thereafter. Thornton wore a royal blue frock coat with a pale blue waistcoat, and his trousers were of lavender doeskin. Hannah Thornton wore a royal blue dress with powder blue lace trimmings, the first time she did not wear black in almost two decades. Edith and Fanny were Margaret's attendants and Watson acted as groomsman for Thornton.

The destination of the wedding holiday was to be a surprise to Margaret. She was sure it was going to be in Helstone but she decided to play along. They spent the wedding night at Marlborough Mills and Thornton succeeded in surprising her when they took the train to Dover and the boat to Cadiz for three weeks. Henry Lennox had helped Thornton to make the bookings, having stayed in touch with Frederick Dickenson, for that was his alias. John and Margaret stayed with them and was pleased to see that Dolores Barbour was expecting their first child before they returned to Milton.

Seven months later, Mr. Bell passed away in Milton. Hale, Thornton, Hannah and Margaret were by his bedside. He was cared for at Marlborough Mills, and he said poignantly to Thornton, "You are a good man, Thornton, thank you for making my family happy." He was buried not far from his beloved Maria. Only Thornton knew the reason Bell wanted that plot and he vowed to take that secret to his grave.

Hannah Thornton's first grandson was born two months after Adam Bell passed away, ten months to the day of their wedding, and he was named John Richard Thornton. He even had the Thornton scowl whenever he was hungry, angry, wet or bored.

Her second grandson, George Robert Watson was born two weeks later.

…

* * *

./….

**EPILOGUE**

Socrates said "be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"

Hannah Thornton realized this when she first went to carry out her deathbed promise to Maria Hale several months ago, at the prompting of her son, and has had no regrets whatsoever, for Maria Hale had given her a beautiful daughter to love and be loved in return. Someone once said to her, Margaret is fortunate creature indeed, that she had you to guide her and rescue her. She replied, I am the fortunate one, for this beautiful creature came into my life and taught me to love again.

For John, his fantasy and reality became one, when the Margaret in his dreams became the Margaret in his arms all because his insightful mother made the connection that no one else did. Someone once said to him, Margaret is a fortunate creature indeed that you chose to rescue her reputation and kept her from becoming an old maid. He replied, I am the fortunate one, the most fortunate of men under the sun, that this beautiful woman came into my soulless existence and gave me reason to live.

For Margaret, the best decision she ever made was to confide in a mother who loved her son and wanted the best for him. Someone once said to her, Margaret, you are a fortunate creature indeed that the Thorntons loved you and rescued you from ruination. She replied, yes, I am fortunate indeed.

As for the late Maria Hale, when she asked Hannah Thornton to care for her daughter, she saw a mother who could care for her child when she would no longer be able to do so, and it all turned out well, very well indeed, and as we all know, mothers know best. Her headstone read, _Here lies Maria Hale, wife of Richard, mother to Frederick and Margaret, humble to her God, faithful to her Queen, loyal to her husband, kind to her family, benevolent to all. The most fortunate of sinners on earth and saints in heaven_

….

Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. – Plato

…

* * *

A/N: Thanks for all the beautiful reviews/ favs / follows. It encouraged me to keep up this story to the end.

FIS

11


End file.
